1st Trimester

Disgusted by Husband -- Anyone?

OK, the last pregnancy, I couldn't stand hearing my husband chew, breathe or talk during the first tri (this is also how we knew I was pregnant--both times).  This pregnancy, I just want to kill him even when he does nice things for me (yes, I'm the one who's DH is already planning an extravagant babymoon).  I realize I'm spoiled but is anyone else just annoyed with their DH right now?  I can't wait for second tri to swing around so I get super horny again.  I feel so bad because he means SO well but I just can't stand anything about him right now (smell, voice, breath, the way he cooks my breakfast, the quickness with which he runs out to get my Subway sandwich or vegetarian sushi...)  Grr.

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Re: Disgusted by Husband -- Anyone?

  • I haven't felt this yet and hoping I don't!  I am actually the opposite -- I am pretty much fascinated by anything my husband does right now, corny I know.
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  • DH was chewing gum the other day and I had to leave the room because it was annoying me so badly.  Last pg we were fighting through most of 1st tri because everything made me mad, but so far the gum is the only thing that bothers me.
  • I understand being annoyed by your DH every so often, I'm pretty sure most pregnant women go through it. But seriously, it sounds like you need to take your spoiled a** into the kitchen and make your own breakfast and go out to get your own take out because you just made yourself sound completely ungrateful!!! I feel bad for your DH right now!
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  • Sad to say I agree with the PP...

    I would love to have my husband doing those things for me. Hell, I would love to be able to see my husband everyday. (36 hours in the last two weeks.) you do kind of sound like you need to take it down a notch. Or else he'll stop doing nice things for you all together.

    If you have to take your anger out on rude strangers, not someone who loves you.

  • Hmmm. If my husband was making me breakfast and serving me hand and foot, I have to say I don't think it would irritate me. Is this one of those bragging sessions disguised as a complaint? It's a serious question. I hate when people do that.
  • I have no words that are nice so I will just say that no, I'm not disgusted by my husband.. I am blown away every single day with how incredibly sweet, sensitive, giving, loving, patient, thoughtful and strong he is..  while I'm pregnant or not.

    I'm sorry for you and your DH that he disgusts you.  I really hope you don't disgust him... but keep it up and that just might happen.   good luck.

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  • image flamingos10:

    I have no words that are nice so I will just say that no, I'm not disgusted by my husband.. I am blown away every single day with how incredibly sweet, sensitive, giving, loving, patient, thoughtful and strong he is..  while I'm pregnant or not.

    I'm sorry for you and your DH that he disgusts you.  I really hope you don't disgust him... but keep it up and that just might happen.   good luck.

    Yes

  • I'll admit a few things DH does bother me more now when otherwise I can normally tolerate it, but he is also one to really push my buttons on purpose and if he knows he is getting to me he will bother me more on purpose. That being said, he has been cooking dinner, did grocery shopping last week and is also helping out a lot with DD so I can suck it up if he is coughing every 5 seconds like he normally does or snoring or what have you. If he were waiting on me hand and foot and "running" to go get me subway I would be grateful and not picking at his smell or the way he cooks. If you don't like the way he cooks then maybe you should cook for yourself, or go get your own subway. I think if you don't suck it up a little bit and start being nicer he might stop all these nice things and your behavior may even start to gross him out.
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  • image MrsSuperMommy:

    I just can't stand anything about him right now (smell, voice, breath, the way he cooks my breakfast, the quickness with which he runs out to get my Subway sandwich or vegetarian sushi...)  Grr.

    It sounds like you have a pretty wonderful husband. I think you deserve a big "fvck you - get it yourself" from your DH next time he jumps to make you meals or runs out to get you what you want to eat.

     
  • image bam0219:
    I understand being annoyed by your DH every so often, I'm pretty sure most pregnant women go through it. But seriously, it sounds like you need to take your spoiled a** into the kitchen and make your own breakfast and go out to get your own take out because you just made yourself sound completely ungrateful!!! I feel bad for your DH right now!

    Gotta say I agree with this. I would give anything to have DH do more for me right now.  Of course, I know he's doing what he can between going to school full time and working part time (and sometimes full time) hours.  Frankly, I wish I wasn't so exhausted all the time so I spend more time with my DH when he is around, despite any annoying habits he might have--I can overlook those easily!

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  • Dang, he's still married you and is even having another baby with you after your behavior?

    Seriously, you need to get off your high horse. 

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  • Good to see that nobody can read sarcasm.  Then again, we are on The Bump and I suppose that quite a few women actually do whine about their DH not being a proper slave.  Oh well.
  • image shawnandemma:

    If you have to take your anger out on rude strangers, not someone who loves you.

    BTW, this is AWESOME advice. 

  • image MrsSuperMommy:
    Good to see that nobody can read sarcasm.  Then again, we are on The Bump and I suppose that quite a few women actually do whine about their DH not being a proper slave.  Oh well.

    If you meant for this post to be sarcastic, well then you need to work on that.

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  • image jc51723:

    image MrsSuperMommy:
    Good to see that nobody can read sarcasm.  Then again, we are on The Bump and I suppose that quite a few women actually do whine about their DH not being a proper slave.  Oh well.

    If you meant for this post to be sarcastic, well then you need to work on that.

    Thanks for the advice.  

  • I thought your post was funny. You sound like a treat. Your DH is lucky to have you....why wouldn't he run out to get your vegetarian sushi?
  • image pook:
    I thought your post was funny. You sound like a treat. Your DH is lucky to have you....why wouldn't he run out to get your vegetarian sushi?

    Right? That's what I'm sayin'.  A little whipping will do him some good. 

  • Hope it passes soon so you can get on with your normal life :)

     

    I don't have any complaints about my hubby.

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  • 1. The sarcasm was clear. It would appear that people have some serious difficulties discerning it, but Sarcasm and I are buddies, and it made me laugh. :)

    and

    2. I can agree with your complaint. I'm getting super close to the 2nd trimester, but, unfortunately, this week has decided to be the worst of the entire 1st. I'm gagging myself on air. I actually had to throw away a half-eaten cupcake yesterday because I was positive it was going to get thrown out another way if I didn't. Feeling like crap all the time makes it painfully easy to take out frustration on those who care about you the most. My SO and I got into a stupid little argument just today...I doubt either of us could even tell you what it was about. The point is, however, that I love him dearly, and he tries so hard to make my crazy hormonal self happy. But there are just some times....

  • At first pass I just took this as MUD but your sarcasm attempt didn't come through obviously to me - and I love me some sarcasm. In this case, though - FAIL.

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  • image CTGirl30:
    At first pass I just took this as MUD but your sarcasm attempt didn't come through obviously to me - and I love me some sarcasm. In this case, though - FAIL.

    This.  I even went back to re-read it.  Not feeling the sarcasm so much, sorry.

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  • OP, I feel you.  I have been extra irritated by not just my DH, but just about everyone else too these days.  I think it's hormones combined with lack of sleep from a toddler who is once again waking several times a night.  Not a good combo.

    Hormones are a powerful thing, and just so you know they swing both ways!Last pregnancy my DH traveled quite a bit for his job.  I actually really liked when he traveled because it meant no cooking dinner, I could relax and watch movies or work late - whatever I wanted to do those night.  And he only traveled a couple of times a month, so we still had plenty of time together.

    When I was in the second tri last time he went to Europe for a week and I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown.  I cried almost the entire time he was gone, I missed him so much and almost felt like I was never going to see him again.  It's like I was sure something was going to happen to him and I felt so out of control.  Hormones!

    So I think you should be gentle with yourself, try not to get irritated (easier said than done) and focus on the positives or spend time alone.  If I feel myself getting irritated I'll go take a nap or go to the gym, etc.  for a quick break.   

     

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  • image MrsSuperMommy:
    image shawnandemma:

    If you have to take your anger out on rude strangers, not someone who loves you.

    BTW, this is AWESOME advice. 

    morse sarcasm. probably. don't really give a flying f*ck though.

    Heres the thing about sarcasm, unless you can hear the inflection in your voice, its hard to tell whether its sarcasm, or how you really feel.

    Personally, I still feel like this post makes you sound like a rotten person. I would rather be pissed at the lady who cuts me off in traffic, or the idiot at mcdonalds who effs up my order over and over again, than my best friend. I guess thats just me though.

  • I love everything my husband has done for me. Not much has irritated or disgusted me except the sweet after bath smell :)
  • Can't say that I do, if anything I feel like I love my husband even more.
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  • I guess I didn't read it like the OP was being super seirous, I actually understand a little bit where you are coming from-- DH annoyed me when I was pregnant, too-- and he was soooo sweet!! I felt terrible, I had to bite me tongue and remind myself how luckyI was.  Don't sweat it, I bet you will feel the ol' flame again soon.
  • image beckynick04:

    OP, I feel you.  I have been extra irritated by not just my DH, but just about everyone else too these days.  I think it's hormones combined with lack of sleep from a toddler who is once again waking several times a night.  Not a good combo.

    Hormones are a powerful thing, and just so you know they swing both ways!Last pregnancy my DH traveled quite a bit for his job.  I actually really liked when he traveled because it meant no cooking dinner, I could relax and watch movies or work late - whatever I wanted to do those night.  And he only traveled a couple of times a month, so we still had plenty of time together.

    When I was in the second tri last time he went to Europe for a week and I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown.  I cried almost the entire time he was gone, I missed him so much and almost felt like I was never going to see him again.  It's like I was sure something was going to happen to him and I felt so out of control.  Hormones!

    So I think you should be gentle with yourself, try not to get irritated (easier said than done) and focus on the positives or spend time alone.  If I feel myself getting irritated I'll go take a nap or go to the gym, etc.  for a quick break.   

     

    this was the most honest and mature response I have read soo far. Listen to all you people, it sounds like bunch of hormonal crazy woman on this blog. All you need to do is take an example from "how to respond" with class and self respect. And if you need an example then read the qouted response. If you can't hold your selfs together on this site, I can't imagine how you act at home or towards people.
  • image Oksana Weber:
    image beckynick04:

    OP, I feel you.  I have been extra irritated by not just my DH, but just about everyone else too these days.  I think it's hormones combined with lack of sleep from a toddler who is once again waking several times a night.  Not a good combo.

    Hormones are a powerful thing, and just so you know they swing both ways!Last pregnancy my DH traveled quite a bit for his job.  I actually really liked when he traveled because it meant no cooking dinner, I could relax and watch movies or work late - whatever I wanted to do those night.  And he only traveled a couple of times a month, so we still had plenty of time together.

    When I was in the second tri last time he went to Europe for a week and I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown.  I cried almost the entire time he was gone, I missed him so much and almost felt like I was never going to see him again.  It's like I was sure something was going to happen to him and I felt so out of control.  Hormones!

    So I think you should be gentle with yourself, try not to get irritated (easier said than done) and focus on the positives or spend time alone.  If I feel myself getting irritated I'll go take a nap or go to the gym, etc.  for a quick break.   

     

    this was the most honest and mature response I have read soo far. Listen to all you people, it sounds like bunch of hormonal crazy woman on this blog. All you need to do is take an example from "how to respond" with class and self respect. And if you need an example then read the qouted response. If you can't hold your selfs together on this site, I can't imagine how you act at home or towards people.

    (a) Perhaps you missed the memo that OP was apparently being sarcastic...I guess the person replying above also missed that and wrote a serious reply.

    (b) Don't bring hormones into it as an excuse.

    (c) This isn't a "blog"

    (d) Who is not holding "their selfs" together on this site? I find this pretty funny - funnier actually than the original post.

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  • image CTGirl30:
    image Oksana Weber:
    image beckynick04:

    OP, I feel you.  I have been extra irritated by not just my DH, but just about everyone else too these days.  I think it's hormones combined with lack of sleep from a toddler who is once again waking several times a night.  Not a good combo.

    Hormones are a powerful thing, and just so you know they swing both ways!Last pregnancy my DH traveled quite a bit for his job.  I actually really liked when he traveled because it meant no cooking dinner, I could relax and watch movies or work late - whatever I wanted to do those night.  And he only traveled a couple of times a month, so we still had plenty of time together.

    When I was in the second tri last time he went to Europe for a week and I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown.  I cried almost the entire time he was gone, I missed him so much and almost felt like I was never going to see him again.  It's like I was sure something was going to happen to him and I felt so out of control.  Hormones!

    So I think you should be gentle with yourself, try not to get irritated (easier said than done) and focus on the positives or spend time alone.  If I feel myself getting irritated I'll go take a nap or go to the gym, etc.  for a quick break.   

     

    this was the most honest and mature response I have read soo far. Listen to all you people, it sounds like bunch of hormonal crazy woman on this blog. All you need to do is take an example from "how to respond" with class and self respect. And if you need an example then read the qouted response. If you can't hold your selfs together on this site, I can't imagine how you act at home or towards people.

    (a) Perhaps you missed the memo that OP was apparently being sarcastic...I guess the person replying above also missed that and wrote a serious reply.

    (b) Don't bring hormones into it as an excuse.

    (c) This isn't a "blog"

    (d) Who is not holding "their selfs" together on this site? I find this pretty funny - funnier actually than the original post.

    talk about intelligence and self respect. A great example of a woman that is just rude and has nothing better to do! If its not the hormones then I guess that's just how some people are.
  • I'm sorry you feel this way.

    Actually, My DH is my rock!! So many other people irritate me right now! The simple, "How are you feeling", "Do you have morning sickness?" and "When I was pregnant...." comments and questions DRIVE ME CRAZY. And of course the IL's have a speacial place in my heart (sarcasam) right now.

    DH is about the only person that doesnt get on my nerves. He is caring, understanding and always there when I need him or need to vent.

    Hopefully these feeling go away for you soon and you can try to treat him special for a few weeks during your second tri to make up for your first.

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