Single Parents

New to all of this

Hello all. I was hoping for advice or support if someone has gone through something similar. (Which I really hope no one has gone through this.) K and I dated for 3 and a half years. The past year had been long distant, and I'll be honest, very rough. But in December, he was going to be graduating from college and we were making plans of moving in together. But at the end of August, I found out I was pregnant. K broke up with me that night. He said he had been thinking about it for a while and this was the final straw. I didn't hear from him for over a week. When he finally talked to me again, it was to tell me that he wanted to be involved with the kid as much as possible but wants me completely out of his life. He didn't believe me that I was pregnant until it was confirmed by the doctor. Once this was confirmed, he wanted me to get a paternity test done while the baby was still in the womb. It is dangerous and my doctor would not consent to it. I found out through a mutual friend that K had met a girl the week before I found out I was pregnant and they've been seeing each other ever since. So that week we were still together, he was seeing someone else. We dont' talk at this point, unless it's absolutely necessary. Although earlier this week he decided to terrorize me. He started texting me saying that he wanted to know how i was doing and missed me and blah, blah, blah. He eventually got to the real point of things. He told me that he had been thinking about things and that I've never really been around kids that much and that I'm going to be a terrible mother and that I should give the kid to him because it would be better off without me.

So here I am, 10 and a half weeks pregnant facing becoming a single mother with a custody battle from hell.

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Re: New to all of this

  • Seems to me it would be easier to change your number, have the baby and never contact him again.

     

  • I'm sorry for the circumstances.  Many of us (myself included) have split with their partner when they were pregnant.  This board is a great support.

    As far as your ex, I would LIMIT contact with him.  It's just going to upset you.  Stay strong for your child and lean on family/friends.  You are better off without him.  If the time comes that he wants to be involved then you can cross that bridge when you come to it.  For now, focus on having a calm, peaceful pregnancy.

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  • You're 10 weeks pregnant. There really isnt anything to have daily contact with him about yet anyways. Sounds like he is a real winner

     

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  • image carrieannew:

    You're 10 weeks pregnant. There really isnt anything to have daily contact with him about yet anyways. Sounds like he is a real winner

     

    This is the part that gets to me the most. How can I have dated him for 3+ years and never have really known the real him? I have changed my phone number and set up a specail email address for him to email me at. This is now the only way he is allowed to contact me.

    My family and friends have been extremely supportive, but none of them have gone through anything close to this. I thought it would help to talk to ladies who have gone through similar situations.

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  • I am 27 weeks pregnant and have been dealing with a similar situation since about month 3 in my pregnancy. It's hard but it is great that you have support from your family and friends, it truly makes all the difference. Definitely limit contact, but honestly my DB said a lot of similar sh*t, but doesn't have the guts, know how, or actual want and connection to the baby to follow through. Find out what the laws in your state allow, even consult a lawyer if you are unsure. But remember to enjoy your pregnancy, it's such a special time and GL :)
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