3rd Trimester

how would you feel/wwyd? DH having a boys wknd

I'll try to make this breif. DH told me last month that he wanted to take his annual golf trip to NC with a buddy before the baby comes and that the only weekend they could do it was this weekend. I wanted to be a cool wife and told him to go and have fun while he could but to make sure everything was refundable just in case. Well they decided to just save some money and do the golf weekend here instead. But I've been having a really rough week - a couple bouts of contractions, and generally miserable so I figured they would be reasonable with their boys weekend. Instead they've decided to play golf all day today, tomorrow, and Sunday and they went out for drinks last night, tonight, and plan to go again tomorrow night, leaving me home with our toddler absolutely miserable. He said he wasn't goign to go out every night but now he is and I am really upset that its a 24/7 thing. On top of that he's supposed to be finishing our basement (has had a year and a half to do it and missed every deadline and I wanted it done before having the baby) and it's not. the carpet people are even waiting on him to finish. AND he has no sympathy that it generally sucks for me not to be able to get out and have fun myself.

I feel like I could outrightly be pissed but I did agree weeks ago that he could do the golf weekend so I screwed myself kind of. Am I being unreasonable?  I didn't know I'd feel this crappy when I agreed but he's holding me to it 100% with no compromising at all. And this is a buddy he sees all the time anyway!

Re: how would you feel/wwyd? DH having a boys wknd

  • Ouch, that's rough. DH had his "last hurrah" weekend last week and I've forbidden him to travel anywhere after this weekend even though things are going smoothly. I'm glad your DH decided to stay around, but I'd be miserable if my DH was going out like that every night in front of me too!

    You did agree to this weeks ago, but then again you didn't know how you'd be at this point, especially with the contractions...can you talk to him and ask him to stay home with you tomorrow night? Or at least promise to get home at a designated time (I know with my DH if I don't give him a curfew he stays out til ridiculous hours and pays no attention to how much he drinks)?

    He's growing up, but he'll always be my baby!


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  • It sucks that you are feeling so rough and he's not picking up on that. While I'd also be really irritated, I would probably just suck it up for the weekend and then put the pressure on him to get things done once his little golfing party is over. Hopefully he'll feel better after having his guys time and he'll get things done and let you relax a bit. Maybe try to take a girls night or two next week or go and get a nice massage & pedi. I hope you make it through the weekend, and maybe he'll get partied out and decide to give you a break before Sunday.
  • i would be pissed too.. but hes not going to cancel b/c your being cranky.. and hes probably going to make you even more mad being home.. so i would just suck it up n let him go.. but i would make him have no plans for the next 3 weekends so he could finish the basement.. 
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  • Thanks for the reassurance. I did text him last night while he was out and told him I was sorry I'd been so bitchy lately and to buy a round on me and tell the guys hello and he did come home when he said he would. But he still said he wasn't going out all 3 nights too and now he is. If he'd just indicate in any way he was thinking about me at all I think it'd be different. Oh well.

    I know me bitching won't change a thing so I'm just not going to. Maybe that will make him feel bad if I'm just nice to him instead.  

  • I think that is the guys way of "nesting"...but still I can see why you are upset...I would make sure to voice your concerns to him....I have been more moody and anxious lately as well and when my DH went out drinking last night I reminded him that I could go into labor at any time so to take it easy on the drinking so he wasn't too drunk in case he has to drive me to the hospital and drop our daughter off at grandmas on the way!  Good luck! 
  • Really hard to say...

    He has been planning this weekend for a long time and he isn't out of town - which is much better for you, I imagine! But I can definitely understand that you feel upset about being stuck at home at 36 weeks with a toddler!

    Have you mentioned to him that you feel a bit down about the fact that you are stuck at home while he is going out? Maybe he can get home earlier, or take off part of the time to be with you?? Or, at the very least, after the weekend is over, can you arrange for a sitter and have a really nice evening together?

    In regards to the basement, I don't know what to tell you - if I EVER nag DH about doing things around the house, I'm positive it will Not get done anytime soon - if ever! Which can be SO incredibly annoying! (e.g. we've had a broken toilet for over a month, we bought the parts for it, and he hasn't replaced it, which is becoming very inconvenient with all the guests we've been having over recently!).

    Sorry you are feeling so bad!! Hopefully he will make it up to you soon...

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  • I would definitely be annoyed and resentful, and I'd probably get mad at him about it, but deep down I'd know I wasn't being entirely fair.  I think you are within your rights to punish him in one of the following ways:

    1) withhold sex (may not apply because of how far along you are)

    2) force him to talk about the way it made you feel

    3) do the thing where you act like nothing's wrong but clearly something is

    Overall, it stinks that he's out so much this weekend, but it'll be over soon!  Good luck! :)


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