March 2011 Moms

Baby Shower

Even though I feel that it is too early to be thinking about it, my mother is thinking about it, which means I have to think about it.  My mother wants to throw me a baby shower, which I'm grateful for, but she doesn't want to listen to anything I have to say about it.  Most baby showers I've been to have been in a backyard or someones house.  It's really casual and not over the top (with the exception of my cousin, but my aunt is loaded, so different story).  My mother would rather have the shower closer to my cousin's, in a restaurant or a hotel, very fancy with centerpieces and the whole nine yards.  This is not what I want and not my style at all.  She won't listen to me though.  Should I just suck it up and be grateful?
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Re: Baby Shower

  • That's a tough one.  She won't listen when you tell her you'd rather have it somewhere more personal?  Could you try to compromise?  Maybe rent a hall but not somewhere super fancy?
    image Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I would tell her that I prefer it was just at her house, but if that's what she wants to do, whatever, let her do her thing. I've found that if I let my mom win a few battles, she's happy. Unless your mom can't really afford to do the fancy shower and is just doing it for show, then I would put my foot down and say no, but if it's not going to hurt her financially, let her do her thing.
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  • image MelCfromMN:
    I would tell her that I prefer it was just at her house, but if that's what she wants to do, whatever, let her do her thing. I've found that if I let my mom win a few battles, she's happy. Unless your mom can't really afford to do the fancy shower and is just doing it for show, then I would put my foot down and say no, but if it's not going to hurt her financially, let her do her thing.

    This, kind of.

    I agree that showers should be laid back, and more personal than fancy.  They are definitely not something to blow a lot of money on.  See if she is will to compromise a little. 

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  • ...i just figure if she's hosting and wants to foot the bill for all that fancy stuff, let her. I think its the people who come that 'make' the shower, no matter where it is. Just my 2cents
  • This is really hard especially since in our family (I'm Hispanic) we plan the baby shower's together, so my mom and I would be planning it together.

    I would say just let her plan it since she is trying to be nice to you and give you a beautiful shower.   

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  • Ooph, the thought of all that money!  I would ask her to consider please having it at home (whoever's home, but personally I would prefer to have it at mine because I have no desire to move all the gifts we receive). Then she can take the money she would have spent on the fancier shower to put into a 529 (pre-paid college) plan for the baby once he or she is born.
    *tap tap* Is this thing on?
  • image JennieMatt10:
    ...i just figure if she's hosting and wants to foot the bill for all that fancy stuff, let her. I think its the people who come that 'make' the shower, no matter where it is. Just my 2cents

    this. i'm learning people get extremely excited about babies. and if you see something you like maybe pass it to your mom, but as the host she ultimately gets her way (and the bill)

    Bre Wrties
  • I would say let her just do her thing if she's not going to compramise . Was it her sister that had the super fancy shower for your cousin? or your dads sister? That may be the main reason for her wanting to do it so big and expensive.
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  • image victoriasays:
    Ooph, the thought of all that money!  I would ask her to consider please having it at home (whoever's home, but personally I would prefer to have it at mine because I have no desire to move all the gifts we receive). Then she can take the money she would have spent on the fancier shower to put into a 529 (pre-paid college) plan for the baby once he or she is born.

     I like this idea!  I wouldn't mind having it at my own house.  

    For the record, my mother can afford it, that doesn't mean she has to spend it.  She paid for my bridal shower and my wedding, plus she wants to buy all our baby furniture, so I think she needs to stop spending money.  We are Jewish and she's from the east coast, so she has a certain expectation, regardless of the fact that she's lived here for about 40 years.  For the poster who asked, it was my dad's sister's that threw the real fancy shower for her daughter.

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  • I would say OK to moms shower but not give her the names of every one you want to invite, just your closest friends and all the relatives .

    Then get together with your favorite girlfriend and have your relaxing shower with just your friends jeans and t-shirts and pizza.

    That way mom is happy and can show off her babys new baby bump, and your girlfriends can plan your shower as a girls night.  

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