So I'm standing in the toy aisle at Target, trying to find a birthday present for my nephew, when this lady approaches me and starts asking me when I'm due (strike one - I'm just starting to show, but I feel like it's more fat than anything as I was pretty thick pre pregnancy). As I'm answering her, trying not to sound annoyed, she reaches out and starts rubbing the top of my stomach (between my boobs and belly button). I stop mid sentence and inform her that what she's actually rubbing for luck are my internal organs amd that Baby is located below my belly button.
Her face turned ghost white, she muttered something incomprehensible, and walked away. I'm definitley going to have to use that one again.