Babies: 0 - 3 Months

am i wrong ?

my LO was born Aug. 16,2010, and My parents and i have been purchasing everything for my son. My son's father knew from day one and hasn;t done anything to help in the process. During my pregnancy he was very emotionally abusive towards me for some odd reason, well to make a long story short. He was suppose to bring my son a Swing (mind you this is the first thing he has bought period) and at the last minute decide to change days claiming he had something to do after i had already adjusted my schedule and this was he last straw and if he couldnt come through then he would have to wait until my son is old enough and wants to meet him on his own.  Since my son has been born he has only seen him three times..twice at the hospital and one time when he was three weeks old and he didn't sign the birth certificate when he was at the hospital. so i just wanted to know am i worng?

Re: am i wrong ?

  • i think you have a right to be angry.

     

    A 7/2010 - 9 pounds 1 oz, 22 in

    T 3/2012 - 11 pounds, 22 in

      

  • punctuation is your friend. Of course, you have a right to be upset. Every mother wants the baby's father to play his role in their baby's life. 
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  • Sorry he's not being as supportive as you would like. You will however need to check the legalities of this situation. I'm pretty sure if he's the child's father, you can't stop him from seeing your LO?
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  • I don't think you're wrong as I think it's not fair to the child to have a parent who comes and goes from his life, that's really hard on kids, and it's not fair to you or your son.  I would give him one last chance though, and tell him ahead of time that it's his last chance, so he can't say you just suddenly stopped letting him see his son.  If you warn him and he still doesn't show, he has no excuse.
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  • You are not wrong for being upset about it, but I would rethink not letting him see his son until your baby is old enough to want to see him. I would give him as many opportunities as he wants to see him. He doesn't have to be alone with him or anything though. Given his record already, he probably won't follow through anyway. The bottom line is, he can't ever say you are trying to keep his son from him. Whether he signed the birth certificate or not, if he wants to take you to court and do a paternity test, he can. That's a whole other can of worms I'm sure you don't want to open up.

    You must also realize that if y'all do go to court, the topic of child support will come up and in Texas, an automatic visitation order will be put in place if CS is granted. It is very hard to stop the order and drop visitation without a lawyer which will most likely be very expensive.

    My experience on the matter is due to DD1's Father being a deadbeat....

     

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  • So, you're taking this dude to court for child support, right?
    Batman likes to watch cartoons on the weekends. Whatever.
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    "I'll gladly take cold sores over eye herpes" -ElieFin
    "Unicorn glitter gives me UTIs." -Leila'sMommy
  • image dionna10:

    my LO was born Aug. 16,2010, and My parents and i have been purchasing everything for my son. My son's father knew from day one and hasn;t done anything to help in the process. During my pregnancy he was very emotionally abusive towards me for some odd reason, well to make a long story short. He was suppose to bring my son a Swing (mind you this is the first thing he has bought period) and at the last minute decide to change days claiming he had something to do after i had already adjusted my schedule and this was he last straw and if he couldnt come through then he would have to wait until my son is old enough and wants to meet him on his own.  Since my son has been born he has only seen him three times..twice at the hospital and one time when he was three weeks old and he didn't sign the birth certificate when he was at the hospital. so i just wanted to know am i worng?

    **lurking** 

    its perfectly alright for you to be upset because he changed plans at the last minute like that...BUT with the baby being so young, i wouldnt put it out there that he cant see the baby until he decides he wants to meet dad...give him a chance to prove himself worthy of the "daddy" title...if he still proves to be a lazy arrogant a$$, THEN deny him visits...3 times in what? a month and a half? almost 2 months? alot better than what some kids get...my oldest has met his father TWICE, and hes now 4...(not by my choice either)...but please, for the sake of you and your child, apply for child support now...dont wait...

  • I given him change after chance after chance, prior to my son being born and afterwards. I've given him the benefit of the doubt countless times and yet he fails to be the father he claims he is or wants to be. I'm not filling CS, because that is what he's been screaming from the time I found out i was preggo. so he thinks all i want is his money, so filing for me is not gonna happen because i can do without the stress. the reason I've decided to close the door was becuase after my son was born it took him three weeks to come and see him and he goes a whole two weeks again at that point i just told him dont bother. 
  • image dionna10:
    I given him change after chance after chance, prior to my son being born and afterwards. I've given him the benefit of the doubt countless times and yet he fails to be the father he claims he is or wants to be. I'm not filling CS, because that is what he's been screaming from the time I found out i was preggo. so he thinks all i want is his money, so filing for me is not gonna happen because i can do without the stress. the reason I've decided to close the door was becuase after my son was born it took him three weeks to come and see him and he goes a whole two weeks again at that point i just told him dont bother. 

     hunny, my sons father wouldnt even come see him in the NICU the ENTIRE MONTH that he was in there...he didnt see him until he was like 7+ months...tried to get him to be involved during preg, wouldnt have it...its the nature of the beast...im sorry that you are having to go through this, (and i felt the same way about the child support then too), but the moneys not for you per say...its for the baby...it took me 3 years to FINALLY file on his father, and i still havent seen anything because they are still looking for him (its been a year)...ive learned my lesson...as soon as this new baby gets here, im filing on his father asap, because 1) i know its a long drawn out process, and 2) the father is showing NO interest in this child, (wont even acknowledge my c-section date)...i want to make sure that my child is well taken care of by BOTH of his parents...i dont want to screw around again like i did the first time...and at this point, i dont even really care if hes involved with the baby or not, just as long as hes helping financially is all that matters anymore...

     i hope that you can get things straightened out, and that things work out for the best...good luck hun...and enjoy that sweet baby...

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