3rd Trimester

MY SIL ruined my shower surprise :-( (Long vent)

Little background is I introduced my brother to a coworker we have remained friends and they hit it off. So she is also one of my Bffs. My shower is this coming Sunday it was supposed to be a surprise (my MIL is throwing it) So SIL invites me to dinner to celebrate my bday last night and decides she needs to vent about my MIL and my shower plans. Problem is it's supposed to be a surprise to me including the date and she knows this. I am a little upset that my shower is 1 week away and she couldn't wait til after the shower to vent. So I now know the date, where it is, what the favors are, who was in charge of the dessert, how many rsvp'd, & who was assigned to do what. At 1st it didn't seem like such a big deal but the more I think about it the more upset I get. My Mom and I tell each other everything and even she kept it a secret so I could be surprised for once. My mom was upset when I told her what SIL said that is what prompted me to really think about the ruined surprise and of course DH is furious and now wants to tell MIL that SIL blew the wistle on all the plans. It upsets me b/c she ruined the surprise b/c she couldn't wait 1 week to tell me about my MIL, plus she admitted having vented to my Mom earlier that day! I am wrong for having a delayed reaction to my ruined surprise shower!

Re: MY SIL ruined my shower surprise :-( (Long vent)

  • why didn't you tell her to stop and not tell you if you didn't wanna know..
    BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • my wedding shower was supposed to be a suprise, and while noone "told me", it became pretty obvious as it got close and I knew when it was. What you're SIL did was sh*tty and you have every right to be annoyed with her, but try to not let it ruin your shower. You can still have an awesome time, and look at it this way, at least now you can pick an appropriate outfit and make sure you shower and do your hair and make up. It sucks, but its not the end of the world, so just try to relax and enjoy the day!
    and i thought i loved you then <3<a href="http://daisypath.com/">Daisypath Anniversary tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Missed Miscarriage discovered at 9w6d
    D&E 10.27.2011
    I'll love you forever Baby Speck Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image xoashleigh4ox:
    why didn't you tell her to stop and not tell you if you didn't wanna know..

    *gasp* was that an attempt at snark? Did you just disagree with the OP??? OMG I thought you thought we were all the devil over here?

    "Seriously, mommy forum people are some crazy ass bitches." New Year New You
  • First of all I am really sorry that this has happened. I too would be upset that the surprise that was almost pulled of was ruined. It is sad that your SIL felt she had to do this to you. It was nice that you were able to talk to your mom about it as I would feel hurt too. As for DH telling your MIL, I would not want to stir the pot the week before your shower. It sounds like she has put a lot of work into it, and it would just make her feel horrible as well as maybe cause some drama before and possibly at the shower between her and SIL. That you don't need or want I am sure. Also, here is hoping that MIL had a few other surprises up her sleve and you don't know everything about the day! If you still feel like you need to have a reaction, maybe tell SIL your dissappointment and hopefully she will see how wrong she was. But keep an open mind until the shower, and you can still let MIL relish in showering you and your new LO, and you can appreciate all that went on for you without drama! Good luck, and try to enjoy every minute of it. I am sure you will.

  • Yeah that all makes sense. I wasn't mad at 1st b/c I didn't see it as ruined until my Mom was upset about it. But I agree about not telling MIL to be honest SIL is a little attention hungry so I can see the shower being a huge drama fest if DH tells MIL the truth. As far as being upset about I am not upset enough to cause a scene I do just think it was a selfish thing to do 1 week away and all. Thanks for the advice, I just wanted to tell it to people who would understand so I could let it go.
  • So I had my "surprise" shower on saturday... It was supposed to be a surprise but MIL (who conveniently doesn't really like me too much) had spilled the beans over a MONTH ago.  I played up to the surprise bc I knew how important it was to my mom and best friend who were planning it. So even though I was deep down furious that my surprise was ruined and I'll have to lie to my mother the rest of my life about "how surprised I was"-- it was worth all of the beautiful & thoughtful gifts and being with so many people who love my little man!

     

    I hope you'll feel the same happiness after yours, too! :)

     

     

  • annoying. ah well- you can still have fun.

    and i used to live in Nashua. still work there actually :)

  • T.bird that's cool I used to live in Nashua too for like 21 years just moved in April. I work in Hudson the commute sucks but I don't think I'll ever leave NH.
  • I don't get what the big deal is with showers being surprises (and people being so upset when the surprise is ruined for them).. my shower was not a surprise, I knew plenty of details about it, and guess what - I still had a great time celebrating with family and friends! 
    image

    11-15-08
    12-1-10
  • i would call her and tell her after the shock wore off you are very upset that she was so selfish that she shouldn't have told you . Speak your mind you have a right to be upset... I'm so sorry please enjoy your shower !
  • Sounds like jealousy to me.  If she knew it was going to be a complete surprise for you, and she went on and on about it anyway...yeah, very disrespectful.

    I say get back at her by killing her with kindness at the shower, having a great time (everything sounds in motion, so might as well, right?), and cheesing it up a bit just to make her vomit or something.

     

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • If you didn't want to know about it and it offends you to have your surprise ruined, the second she started in on it, you should have held up your hand and told her that it's supposed to be a surprise and you don't want to hear a word about it. She obviously spent some time going into great detail with her vent, and even though it's crappy for her to do that, you could have stopped her at any time.

    It's a rare shower that the guest of honor doesn't actually get dragged into the drama of it. 2 days before mine, I had my 3 hostesses all calling me separately to vent about each other and ask for my intervention with the other 2.

  • image J+MS:

    image xoashleigh4ox:
    why didn't you tell her to stop and not tell you if you didn't wanna know..

    *gasp* was that an attempt at snark? Did you just disagree with the OP??? OMG I thought you thought we were all the devil over here?

     

    no it wasn't an attempt at snark.. it just doesn't make any sense why she would allow her to go into detail about everything if she wanted to be surprised.. if it was me and i didn't wanna know about 3 seconds into it i would have told her to stop..  

    BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Sounds to me like you were more upset that your mom was hurt by it then you were about the surprise being ruined. I get that, you are protecting her. But don't let DH tell your MIL, it will only cause drama right before your shower and you don't want that negative energy floating around at the shower, total mood killer. I'm sure in the end you will feel much better if you can be the mature one and brush it off.

    If it comes up in the future with SIL (after the shower) I'd mention something, but that may be just me. I'd say that while I didn't want to make waves at the time, it really upset your mother and that in turn upset you, and how you wish you could have been surprised. 

    BabyFetus Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image crazystace:
    I don't get what the big deal is with showers being surprises (and people being so upset when the surprise is ruined for them).. my shower was not a surprise, I knew plenty of details about it, and guess what - I still had a great time celebrating with family and friends! 

    This. So this.



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



  • image LolliLately:

    image crazystace:
    I don't get what the big deal is with showers being surprises (and people being so upset when the surprise is ruined for them).. my shower was not a surprise, I knew plenty of details about it, and guess what - I still had a great time celebrating with family and friends! 

    This. So this.

    I am also in agreement with this, only I was laughing while reading it.  This is ridiculous.  I may have felt this way if it were my sweet 16 birthday party.

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards