Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

feeling so guilty

mentally I know there was nothing we could do to make this baby live, but emotionally I feel like I let iit down, let DH down and couldnt provide a sibling for DS. I am an emotional wreck and hubby seems to think i should be over it by now. So alone...

Re: feeling so guilty

  • I am sorry you feel so alone! This is a great place to find support. You cannot go down the road of self-blame. I know it is natural to blame yourself, but there is nothing good that will come from those self-defeating thoughts. There is NOTHING you could have done to save your baby. (((hugs)))
    June 2010-Lap
    b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
    b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
    IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
    b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
    PAIF/SAIF Welcome :)

    Submitted Adoption Application on 6/1/2011
    Homestudy 7/19/2011
    IVF#2 CX due to Adoption Match
    We were blessed with our daughter through the gift of adoption
    IVF #2.1 ET 2 embryos 2/14/13 7 frostiesLilypie First Birthday tickers

  • I'm sorry you feel alone.  I can definitely relate to that feeling and I know this board has been a huge source of support.  Even though DH and I went through everything together, I don't feel like the loss affected him as much as it did me.  I know he's hurting, but like you, I feel like he's over it and moved on.

    There's nothing you did wrong and nothing you could have done differently.  Please don't beat yourself up and feel like you missed something or it makes you a bad mom.  If you ever want to vent/whine please use this board.

    bumping from my phone. please pardon any typos and missing punctuation
  • I would be so pissed and hurt if my husband told me he thinks I should be over it by now.  It's different for a woman because of the bond you had with the baby as opposed to his bond.  That's cold.

    Fortunately, the girls here on the board are uber supportive and are here when you need them.  I'll send T's and P's that YH removes head from behind soon.

  • You're not alone.  My m/c was two weeks ago.  DH keeps telling me to get off my butt and stop pouting.  He did great being super supportive for the first week but now he thinks it should all be over. We had a long talk last night though.  I hope it helped.  I let him know how afraid I am of lossing him.  I don't really like myself right now and it's hard for me to feel loved.  At first he thought I was being over dramatic but finally I convinced him that I'm serious.  Maybe that will help you.

  • Im sorry for your loss. I can relate to how you are feeling. We lost our baby on the 11th. My boyfriend had all last week off from work and was great while he was home. Completely supportive. He of course had to go back to work this week and I honestly feel worse now than I did last week. I am so afraid of losing him and just dont feel like anything will ever go our way. I know this is because I am thinking way too much into it but he doesnt seem to understand eventhough I know he is trying to. I hope you find the support you need on here. It has been great for me to get everything out. ((hugs))
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers ANGELS ARE GIVEN WINGS AND TAKEN BACK TOO SOON --- We love and miss you soo much Kacie Rae --- 9/11/10 --- born sleeping at 29wks2d
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