Parenting after 35

A bit late...

But Friday night went really well.  Ex got to my house at 5:45 and brought the kids home at 10:20.  When he got there, J was asleep in the truck, and he very carefully took him out so he wouldn't wake him up.  J had his head on his dad's shoulder, sound asleep, when he came in.  Jack woke up and looked at me and put his head right back on his dad.  I asked J to come to me 3 times but he wouldn't budge.  Finally I took him from Ex and put him in bed. (I'm guessing either was really out of it, or he felt pretty comfortable with his dad.)

Pumpkin said Jack was really good and they had a great time.  Jack chowed down on chocolate cake, got lots of presents, and everybody loved him.  P said Grandma took about a hundred pictures.  I couldn't help but think she has a lot of missed pictures to make up for.

  I asked Ex what his father thought of Jack (he had never seen him before) and Ex got really bent out of shape and didn't want to talk about that.  I found out later that P and him had a similar conversation on the way home, and he lied to her and told her that Grandpa had met J before.  When Pumpkin told him that she KNOWS he hadn't, her father told her to be quiet and that she sounded just like me.  Pumpkin was pretty upset (tears in her eyes) and she told me that she felt like punching him.  

I think ex thinks that this will blow over and everybody will forget what a DB he has been for the past year and a half.  Maybe he thinks he can make P doubt the truth if he keeps lying to her.  Too bad for him, she is too smart and mature to let him get away with that.

All in all it was a very successful visit.  There is still a long way to go and a lot of hard feelings to get over, but at least I have hope that we can be co-parents someday.

BTW, I haven't been on much, and might be in and out for a while.  Work has been really stressfull (that could be a whole other post, but I'll spare you), and rarely have a moment to bump from home.  I love and miss you guys, I am just overwhelmed right now and going 10 different directions.

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Re: A bit late...

  • Awww, love and miss you too. I'm glad overall it went well but I agree, there's a long road ahead. Hopefully he will keep at it and not revert to his old DB ways (fingers crossed).
    Me: 44 DH: 42. DS born healthy at 40 weeks 8/24/09. TTC since then with no luck or ART. Surprise BFP 8/6/14... MMC @ 8 weeks 4 days... Miss you everyday sweet baby angel.
  • miss you, girly!

    I started to tear up picturing Jack on Josh's shoulder. There is hope. He's still a DB but, baby steps, right?

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  • How wonderful the party went well and DB behaved himself (mostly).  I almost feel like I should apologize for doubting he would actually come through. I can totally picture Jack on DB's shoulder. How sweet.

    Boo that you are so busy! You know you always have a place on this board. I am keeping a spot warm just for you.

     

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  • I'm glad things went well but sorry that he still can't get over being a total douche. Do you have any idea what kind of things he told his family over the last year and a half? Did he tell them Jack wasn't his? Did he tell them that you didn't want them in Jack's life?
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  • image YaraC:
    I'm glad things went well but sorry that he still can't get over being a total douche. Do you have any idea what kind of things he told his family over the last year and a half? Did he tell them Jack wasn't his? Did he tell them that you didn't want them in Jack's life?

    I am certain he has told a bunch of whoppers.  He was lying to them before we were even divorced.  I honestly don't care what he's said, because no matter what the truth is, they will believe him anyway.  The last time I spoke to my exMIL at Christmas, she accused me of some crazy, random stuff - things he had made up that were just bizarre.  I can't even guess what kind of crap he spreads and at this point it's not my problem anymore, thankfully.

    Amy, don't feel bad for doubting him.  God knows he has earned it.  We all were thinking the same thing.  :)

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  • So nice to hear it went well!  And maybe it will even be a trend.  Hope you were able to enjoy a glass of wine, etc. while the kids were gone!
  • Glad to hear things went well with DB.  I'd still be REALLY skeptical of his actions and motives, but maybe he truly had a change of heart.  Kudos to Pumpkin for being so savvy!  Shame on DB for being like that to her.

    Hope you find a chance to breathe soon.  I totally understand the work thing and have been suffering through some awful drama myself at work.

    Strength and positive vibes to you!!!

  • I hope he had such a good time with them & especially his son, & that he can actually feel sorry for not having been in his life. I hope guilt eats away at him each & every day. I truly hope for you & your kids that he turns things around & becomes a better man.
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  • awww Shelley, I am so glad that things are starting to look positive with ex.  No matter what we may think of him (becuase we all have your best interest at heart) it truly does matter what YOU think of him and if he is starting to show some sort of interest, like he just did, then that is definitely a small step in the right direction.  I (we) just don't want to see you hurt again.  I think his lashing out at Pumpkin may also be a sign that he knows he fu*ked up royally and that's a typical answer out of aggravation, nothing personal.

    So sorry your work has been keeping you busy, I hope it's a good busy and not a bad busy...We miss you, and join us again when you can, Lord knows i've been MIA for some time too!  :o)

    {{HUGS}}

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  • Shelly I haven't been around in ages but have been thinking of you. I commend you for being the bigger person and working with DB so he can get to know his son and have a relationship with his kids.

    I'm also happy to hear that Pumpkin won't put up with his BS either.

    Good luck and hang in there with work, etc.

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