2nd Trimester

My Grandmother called me a fatty

She said this in reference to my pre-pregnancy weight of 125. I am 5'3. She said, "Oh, I am 5'7 and weight 125 lbs. so you must have been a fatty."

If she wasn't 95 years old and blind (macular degeneration), I would have told her that she is no longer 5'7 since I am now taller than her and I probably weigh more because I have double the bone density. I love her but damn she loves to try and snipe you. She does this to everyone in the family.

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Re: My Grandmother called me a fatty

  • gotta love those 'ol birds~!! lol my great gma is 88 and has congestive heart failure. she get really confused and yesterday told me that her brother-in-law called her at 6am to take her bowling......

    well he passed away 6 months ago and gma has NEVER gone bowling in her life!! but it was a great story!!! we have decided that she is "doing" the things that she never actually did.

    but i probably would have cried if my grandmother had called me a fatty(which technically i am..... but thats beside the point) its mean.... Crying

  • My grandmother has been calling me that since I hit 120 pounds in 9th grade. She's a total biitch though.
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  • this is why i cant wait to go see the hubbys grandma in a few months this lady is like 90 and still gets around great... and she is so spunky :D i love it
  • At a family christmas do pre-preg my grandma told me that my thighs were getting chunky and proceeded to pat them. Now that I'm preg, I keep expecting her to comment on weight gain (although everyone says I'm all baby). At most shes said I'm at a 'cuddy weight'. I'm quite slender.
  • hahaha! Don't you love the stuff that old people say? My nannie used to be such a spit fire as well. But she is pretty pitiful now and doesn't say much these days.
  • DH's Grandma says things about EVERYBODY's weight, but it's neither cute nor funny.  SHe is 80, and completely in possession of all her senses.  She says mean sh!t because she feels like she can get away with it, and is rude all the time.  Also she thinks she is smarter than everyone and is constantly questioning/challenging DH when he talks about his business (which he owns and is very successful at) but when he says something is going very well she scoffs and says he must be exagerating or lying. 

    Last pg she asked me if my dr was worried about my weight gain (she wasn't) and hadn't she told me I need to stop gaining for the rest of the time (this was at like 30 weeks).  Uh, no lady.

  • Oh, old ladies. They are funny. My gma is an 83 yo Welsh woman who has no problem saying what's on her mind. I would never say she has been mean, but if you didn't know her I guess it would come off that way.

    One time I wore my normally curly hair (which she loves bc she only ever had straight hair) straight, and she said (if you can imagine a shrill old lady voice) "What have you done to your hair!!? I do NOT like it!" We have a great relationship and I just said, "that's ok, I don't really care what you think haha".

    Re: weight, the other day, just to bug her, I said "want to see something funny?" and I stuck my belly out and she said "suck that in! You do not want to get fat before your time!"

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  • my bmi and everything are completely healthy. i have gone between 130 and 160 since i was 15 yrs old. ive been 5'8" since i was 15 too though.

    of course i dont have a stick like figure like my grandmother. i have curves.

    so when she tried telling me.. oh you should only gain 10 lbs at most during pregnancy im like.. HAHAHAHHAHA

    only if i was under or over weight

    i have already gained 20 lbs jumping from 140 to 160 and im 16 weeks along. i dont look fat though is the thing.

    i just gained in the boob.. booty.. and a little in the tummy area.

    so ef her and her 87 yr old know-it-all butt.

    im fine the way i am. not fat at all.

  • Ugh, my doctor told me I was a fatty. I gained 23lbs, and he said its too much.
  • The things old people will say to make them feel better about looking so bad.
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  • My doctors have been upset with me the last 4 months of my pregnancy... I'm over 5'8'' and have never weighed over 130 pounds. I also got my dad's AWESOME metabolism so I have never had to really watch what/how much I ate. But at 37 weeks, I'm ALL baby, and have been actively trying to gain weight since I only have gained around 13 pounds. (the baby stole my butt, I swear!) I'm on a 3 hour eating schedule, and my doctor actually recommended that I keep rice krispie treats in my purse at all times! The problem is, I just hate food now... like I literally groan when it's time to eat again because all i have been craving is fruits and salads - and my doctor was like, "eat tons of protien... and carbs... then have a half an apple..." All the ladies I have talked to at the doctor's office were like, "you are SOOO lucky!!" It's no better, I promise... The grass is always greener, I guess... :)
  • I'm 5'3 too, normally average weight (currently 35wks, gained about 18lbs, all belly) and my sweet grandmother has been letting me know how HUGE I'm going to get every time she's seen me since I was about 14wks along. She then proceeds to tell me how she was "tiny" with both of her pregnancies.... so why does she has she been insisting I will get so large??
    (Note: I'm by far the smallest person in my family)

     Grandma's are precious, haha!

  • My grandma used 2 do stuff like that.  I think it was her way of trying to help me avoid the feelings of being insecure (e.g., over weight wife fearing a cheating husband). 

    With my 3rd, I really let myself go again, 60lbs... I sure do miss her!

  • A gentleman in his 50's who is a friend of my FIL once explained rude old people to me in the best way. We were having a conversation about my IL's rude neighbor who had made terrible comments about everything at my wedding (we didn't have it in a church, my bridesmaid's were fat, I was wearing a strapless gown, etc). I had said "I guess when you're old you've just been around so long you have the right to say what's on your mind." This gentleman turned to me and said, "No, you don't. There is no excuse for being rude to people no matter what your age." It changed my viewpoint on older folks that are rude for sure. 
  • I'm making mental notes of all the nasty and crazy things old people say so when I get that age I can just let the comments fly!  I am normally the same size you were pre-pregnancy but do to building our house I ballooned up to 160 before I got pregnant and with my preggopath hormones I probably would have smacked grandma.  You did very well holding your tongue. 
  • About 12 years ago, my cousin had her second baby boy and named him Aiden. When she told our great-grandfather the name he literally said "What the hell kind of a name is that?" She was devastated. However....Aiden has now been in the top 5 names for quite some time. So a lot of the time, older folks just don't know what they are talking about! Take it with a grain of salt and try not to dwell on what they say. If your doc says you are fine, then I would listen to her!
  • Comments on someone's weight are rude no matter who they come from, but especially from your grandmother.  I wouldn't blame the comments on age, once a spit fire, always a spit fire.  People just tend to loose their inhibitions as they age.  Ignore her negative comments.  Just be greatful that you still have a grandparents who is living.  I'm 34 and have no grandparents anymore.  My husband still has his grandmother. 
  • image traci37:
    Comments on someone's weight are rude no matter who they come from, but especially from your grandmother.  I wouldn't blame the comments on age, once a spit fire, always a spit fire.  People just tend to loose their inhibitions as they age.

     

    seconded. Just because she's older doesn't give her an excuse to be nasty. And she knows damn well that that's rude. If she says it again, I'd point it out to her. Especially at this point, it's incredibly hurtful and letting her say hurtful stuff without standing up for your feelings doesn't really help you or her in any way. 

  • I recently went to see my 83 year old grandmother in a rehab facility.  She was completely with it, just there for physical therapy after a TIA.  I was dressed up for a party...pretty dress, makeup, cute shoes, feeling great about myself.  I know that none of her other 17 grandchildren have taken the time to go see her, but that's the nurse in me. 

    I walked in and she said, "well, you're getting nice a fat!  When I was pregnant with your uncle, I gained 11 lbs and he weighed 10 lbs at birth!"  URRRRRGH!  Mind you I was 30 weeks and had gained 20 lbs!!!  I am 5'2" so of course it doesn't really spread out.  I actually burst into tears right then and there!  She didn't understand why!  Anyway, I've moved on, but I call her a few times a week rather than go see her...no reason to subject myself to that again.

    My answer was that my doctor says everything looks great and I have a healthy baby boy coming in Nov!  :)  Some people!

  • I think it was just those times. Having curves and everything wasn't as big of a deal, as was making comments on someone's weight. Of course now it's considered an offense to mention someone's weight. I had my 75 year old grandmother mention something, and though I was being sensitive about myself in general at the time (stretch marks, boobs that are too big and uncomfortable, clothes that don't fit, etc) I took it with a grain of salt. There was no point in me getting upset about it. It's just how you see yourself and how your DH sees you I think that matters the most. My husband tries to always say I am sexy and pretty when I am naked or in underwear, etc.
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  • My mom is killing me with that crap!  I am by no means skinny or slender, I'm muscular and athletic, and I was about 25 lbs over weight before I got pregnant.  I've only gained 20 lbs so far for the pregnancy and I'm at 33 weeks.  Mom is telling me to be careful and watch what I eat, and I'm getting to fat and all that crap!!  Then I overhear her tell one of our relatives that she gained 60 lbs when she was pregnant with me.  Uh, double standard much?  I felt much better about things after hearing her say that.  I just let it go.  I'm incubating life!!  I'm doing pretty darn good, and my doctor is not worried at all.  So there you go.

     

     

  • When some people get older, they have frontal lobe degeneration.  This can lead to socially inappropriate behavior, because degeneration in this part of the brain means it's much harder for them to exercise impulse control and a socially appropriate edit function on what they're saying and doing.

     http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/09/070921100332.htm

    Don't get me wrong, some people always are and always have been jerks, and they say things just to be hurtful.  But some old folks aren't trying to be hurtful, it's just much harder for them to control blurting out what they're thinking because the part of their brain that stops us from just saying our thoughts out loud doesn't work as well for them anymore.

  • At least she has the old excuse.  My dad called me a fatty but apparently he was joking.
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  • How about your own mother telling your new husband of 15 months that I will never be my pregnancy weight again!  I was 5-6 months pregnant and had gained about 15 pounds at that point which was mostly in my boobs, tummy and my butt.  I was looking way better then I had in my previous two pregnancys and I was very hurt by it...and she is only in her mid 50's!
  • Of COURSE she shouldn't have said that, and of COURSE calling someone a "fatty" can be hurtful.  My grandmother used to "speak her mind" constantly as well, and although I loved her as a person, she said some very hurtful things to her children, grandchildren, and husband over the years.  Although she has passed on, I sometimes wonder what she might be saying about my 18 pound weight gain :) (I'm 22 weeks today).

    My sister is a nurse, and likes to tell me "fun facts" about medical trends throughout the last century.  One thing she shared with me was that in the 1950's-early 60's (perhaps when your grandmother was having children), many doctors advised women to gain "15 pounds at most," and some encouraged smoking throughout the pregnancy to help curb overeating!  Ah, the times, they are a'changing...

     

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  • My dad used to do this to me. Then one of my cousins overheard him, and told my grandmother, who chewed him out. He hasn't done it since...

     Because of years of hearing this, my little brother decided that it meant it was okay, and started trying to tease me about my weight. Granted, I know/knew I was overweight, but having a 13 year old pick on you is infuriating (I was 23).

     He will never do it again...I went up to his room, and came out wearing a pair of his jeans and one of his t-shirts, and pointed out that I may outweigh him, but if I was the same size, he had no room to talk.

  • every time I see my grandma she asks

    "are you SURE you aren't having twins?"

    no, grandma....I'm not...

    why does being older = being rude whenever you feel like it? 

     

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