Babies: 3 - 6 Months

I feel bad for having DH yell at MIL

MIL babysat DD yesterday.  Before she left, I showed her where the milk was in the freezer and where the clean bottles are.

She fed DD (an hour early, but that's a whole other issue) and when DD wouldn't eat, MIL decided that the nipple was too big (we just switched from preemie nipples to size 1, and she hasn't had an issue yet).  So MIL went hunting for the preemie nipples... and she found a different looking bottle on my drying rack (NOT where I showed her the clean bottles were), so she took the top off a different bottle and put it on the Dr. Brown's bottle, without the inside tubing.  Well, it turns out she took Marcnshaun's bottle that she'd left at my house.  It was hand-washed (not sterilized), but it still irritates me that she didn't follow my directions.  I know she meant well, but I specifically showed her where the bottles were... and because she decided to do something different, she ended up feeding DD with another baby's bottle.    

I complained to DH, he called his mom and told her what she did.  She called me to apologize and she sounded upset... should I feel bad?  I didn't say anything to her at the time because I was sorta in shock and I also figured I'd let DH talk to his own mother.  But now I feel like I made too big a deal of it.   

abby 365




**Abigail (Abby) Lily**06/11/2010**7 lbs, 10 oz.**19.5 inches**

**Charlotte Harper**11/04/2012**7 lbs, 6 oz.**19 inches**


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Re: I feel bad for having DH yell at MIL

  • I think you made too big of a deal out of it. 
  • I kind of think you over reacted.  She wasn't intentionally going against your wishes, she was trying to problem solve as she saw the need at the time.  In the end it was an honest mistake.  No big deal, LO got fed and I'm sure she was safe and happy.
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  • Honest opinion, not trying to be judgy or mean but I think you overreacted.  She didn't mean to give the wrong bottle and I don't think she deserved a tongue lashing from your husband.  Your child will survive.  Sorry. 
  • I'm a laid back kind of person so yeah, I think you made a big deal out of it.  I'm trying to imagine if this happened to me and I just can't see myself getting upset.  I've never sterilized a bottle before - I've sterilized the nipple and any necessary interior parts but I've always hand washed or dish washed bottles.  Sure, it was someone else's bottle but it was washed.  And regarding not following your directions....maybe she was flustered?  Maybe next time, write down your directions?
  • Yeah, you did make a big deal out of it. She was doing her best. 
  • You did make too big a deal out of it.  Babies aren't as fragile as people think they are.  The bottle was clean, so what if it wasn't sterlized?
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • You definitely made a big deal out of something pretty minor.
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  • I think it was a combination of a lot of little things that made me blow this one minor thing out of proportion.  I gave MIL a vague outline of when to feed DD and put her down for a nap... she decided to put DD down an hour early and then she tried to feed her an hour early, when DD wasn't hungry.  And since she refused the bottle (since it had only been an hour and a half since her last feeding), MIL assumed she needed a different nipple.  I'm gonna blame this one on all of that plus having to wake up every hour with DD the night before... and I'll try just go with the flow next time.
    abby 365




    **Abigail (Abby) Lily**06/11/2010**7 lbs, 10 oz.**19.5 inches**

    **Charlotte Harper**11/04/2012**7 lbs, 6 oz.**19 inches**


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  • Overreacted. She is doing you a favor watching your kid. We just make up all the bottles in advance to avoid that type of mistake.
    BFP#2 12/6/11, EDD 8/13/12. Missed M/C found at 13w4d, HB gone. D&C 2/13/12. Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker
  • image mopsie:
    I think it was a combination of a lot of little things that made me blow this one minor thing out of proportion.  I gave MIL a vague outline of when to feed DD and put her down for a nap... she decided to put DD down an hour early and then she tried to feed her an hour early, when DD wasn't hungry.  And since she refused the bottle (since it had only been an hour and a half since her last feeding), MIL assumed she needed a different nipple.  I'm gonna blame this one on all of that plus having to wake up every hour with DD the night before... and I'll try just go with the flow next time.

    I didnt learn how to go with the flow until my second child:)

  • I think you over reacted. How could she have known that you would have another baby's bottle in your house? She was just trying to do what she thought would help.
  • Don't be too hard on yourself, we all have "moments" and at least you set some boundaries for when she babysits again.  Sometimes if you let these things go, they get worse.
  • Yeah, you made WAY to big of a deal out if it.  You can't simultaniously be uber controlling and want someone else to watch your kid....you're just going to have to choose one or the other.

     

  • image mopsie:
    I think it was a combination of a lot of little things that made me blow this one minor thing out of proportion.  I gave MIL a vague outline of when to feed DD and put her down for a nap... she decided to put DD down an hour early and then she tried to feed her an hour early, when DD wasn't hungry.  And since she refused the bottle (since it had only been an hour and a half since her last feeding), MIL assumed she needed a different nipple.  I'm gonna blame this one on all of that plus having to wake up every hour with DD the night before... and I'll try just go with the flow next time.

     

    yeah, there's going to be misunderstandings if there are vague outlines. That's almost a given. It's ok though...learning early is best!

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    EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves

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  • Definitely made a big deal out of it.
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  • I'm sort of siding with you here.  I think that you should have written down instructions, but mil overstepped a little.  My mom did this all the time.  She'd put bottles together wrong, and then wonder why they didn't fit. She's also obsessed with the idea of the baby being hungry, even if they've just eaten an hour ago.  She just assumes crying means the baby needs to be nursed (latent resentment of bottle feeding, I think).  My sister, who has a 3 month old, was ready to kick her on the last visit.  And next month, the craziness begins again for me!

     

    I hate it that in order to have help, you have to accept it on someone else's terms.

  • And I just remembered: She'd call us on a "date night" to remind me to be home at a certain time because "the baby can't sleep without you!"  Holy cow, I can't believe we're doing this again.
  • image shelleybeant:

    I'm sort of siding with you here.  I think that you should have written down instructions, but mil overstepped a little.  My mom did this all the time.  She'd put bottles together wrong, and then wonder why they didn't fit. She's also obsessed with the idea of the baby being hungry, even if they've just eaten an hour ago.  She just assumes crying means the baby needs to be nursed (latent resentment of bottle feeding, I think).  My sister, who has a 3 month old, was ready to kick her on the last visit.  And next month, the craziness begins again for me!

     

    I hate it that in order to have help, you have to accept it on someone else's terms.

    That doesn't sound like "overstepping." that just sounds like she's trying really hard to help, but isn't doing it perfectly. No one will ever be able to replicate things EXACTLY like you want them to.

  • Okay girlfriend, I totally see where you are coming from here. I think your problem is that you felt like she was deliberately doing what SHE thought was best instead of what you told her to do and you ended up feeling like she thought she knew better than you about your own child and you felt defensive. Am I right? I can see that in hind sight, it is probably not a big deal, but I can definitely feel where you are coming from if you were sleep deprived and such. Just laugh it off as no big deal next time it comes up to smoothe things over because she probably gets your point now. =)

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