Trying to Get Pregnant
2 & a half years...
Just talked to a long lost friend of mine who just had her second baby. It took her 2 1/2 years to get pregnant with her first (she was perfectly healthy) and 11 mo. with her second. So very happy for her BUT how discouraging....
This discussion has been closed.
Re: 2 & a half years...
???
So, a woman dealing with fertility problems becoming pregnant TWICE and having two healthy babies is discouraging?
Color me confused.
BFP 3/17/10 Missed M/C Confirmed 4/12/10
MIF+Unexplained DX Feb 2012: Femara+Trigger+IUI=BFP
OMG, you people will find anything to argue with.
I meant the length of time because I am so anxious.
Didn't you know, MIlli? Fertility/IF is catching! That's why you drink the water where the pg. ladies are!
Exactly this.
Trying to get sperminated since February 2010
Mar-May 2011: 3 Cycles IUI + Clomid = BFN Jan 2012: Injectables + TI = ??
My Cooking (and More) Blog
I'm genuinely confused by why this would discourage you. Not trying to start an arguement at all, but why wouldn't that be encouraging?
Sorry, didn't mean to piss people off. I was just saying it was a little discouraging because I have only been trying for two cycles and already it feels like a lifetime. Again because I am so anxious.
AND - she did not have fertility problems, that's just how long it took them. So I guess since it took her that long it will affect my ability to concieve. Yikes! What a joke!
Not to say I agree with the OP but I can see where she is coming from. I think so many woman think that as soon as they are ready it will happen, but the more you learn about your body and that it can take even a healthy couple a year, you start to feel a little sad or maybe even have regrets on waiting to start. It's like you want it when you want it but learning that it doesn't work like that can be a little disappointing, not necessarily discouraging, to me anyway.
ETA: A story like this can be extremely encouraging to someone that has been trying for awhile or to someone who has fertility issues, but it isn't all that encouraging when you're just starting out. It is still an amazing happy story nonetheless, but I wouldn't feel all that encouraged at my current stage of TTTC
~Declare it..Claim it..It will be!!~
5/9/09
Here We Go Again!!
I'm sorry you feel discouraged but 2 cycles in is awfully early to be this upset. Your friend may not have been diagnosed, but anything over a year is not considered average, unless there are known IF issues. Correct me if I am wrong ladies.
You might want to quit while you're *ahead*.
You didn't piss me off and I wasn't trying to argue. 2 cycles is nothing to be discouraged about. It can take a healthy couple up to a year to get pregnant. If she didn't have any issues and neither did her DH, then she probably wasn't timing every cycle right. If you are so anxious now, just wait!
This.
I think disappointing is a better word than discouraging. Or perhaps disillusioned? So many of us were living in a fantasy world before we started to become really and truly educated and informed about our fertility. To have an example of reality, like the OP's friend, forces us to accept the reality that it could take some time.
I think too that maybe whether you view this situation as being more encouraging or discouraging depends on the length of time you've been trying. Those who have already been through the waiting seem more encouraged to see people like them conceive healthy children after time. Those who are newer, like the OP, haven't felt the accumulated heartbreak of AFs or neg HPTs cycle after cycle, month after month. I know from experience that it is heartbreaking in and of itself just to find out how difficult the road ahead of you may be.
I'm somewhere in the middle, I think.
JMO
You just talked to a long lost friend about fertility problems? Am I the only one who finds this somewhat weird? It's not like I'd call someone up after 7 years and talk about problems getting pregnant.
I too am encouraged - 2.5 years is a long to wait and keep the faith. I can only hope that if it takes me that long, I don't give up.
P/SAIF Welcome
Invisible Finish Line
3T's Traveling Ovary Blog
7DPO Progesterone: low. CD3 BW: normal, HSG: clear
DX: severe MFI (low all 3) and low T. Undergoing replacement therapy.
But your friend DID get pregnant. That is the encouraging part. Yes, you are allowed to be discouraged. However, if you are already upset after 2 months, I can't imagine how you'll feel after 4, 6, 12, etc...
I can totally sympathize with the sentiment behind the OP. Before I started learning about all this, I thought my body would be ready to conceive soon after I got on BCP.
It is definitely disappointing to know that a healthy couple can take a year to conceive. That being said, I also see the silver lining in know that after 2.5 years your friend conceived.
I'm sure I'm the ONLY one to have this feeling 2 months in. Yah, okay!
Some of you act like I am SO SO upset. I was simply expressing a feeling that I felt in that moment and thought many would sympathize. Guess not!
Sure, many of us who made the decision to start or expand our family were ready right then, so of course disappointment when it didn't happen right away was felt. However, many of us also know that another woman's journey has not effect on our own.
Sorry we did all jump to sympathize with your poorly stated expression of your emotion. Try harder next time to clearly communicate and have some patience is the best advice you can get right now.
BFP 3/17/10 Missed M/C Confirmed 4/12/10
MIF+Unexplained DX Feb 2012: Femara+Trigger+IUI=BFP
Was I hoping that I would be one of the lucky ones to get KU right away? YES! Am I sad that I am having issues? No, because my problems could be alot worse. I know that I will get my BFP when God has planned. His plan is better than any plan I could come up with on my own.
There is no reason to be upset. We were just letting you know that 2 months is not long at all. You could still get KU in your next few cycles and would be considered a lucky one.
The way you expressed this is insensitive. There are women here who've tried for years and you're "discouraged" after 2 cycles. You should have listened to the PP who suggested you quit while you were ahead.
And countdown to DD in 5...4...3...
P/SAIF Welcome
Invisible Finish Line
3T's Traveling Ovary Blog
7DPO Progesterone: low. CD3 BW: normal, HSG: clear
DX: severe MFI (low all 3) and low T. Undergoing replacement therapy.
OP- Try not to get upset by these responses. I understand what you were trying to state in your post, but I can also see how others would take it.
I'm only on my first cycle TTC and I am "anxious" to see how things go. But because of my time lurking on this board I think I have a good perspective of how long it may take to get that BFP.
I'm very happy for your friend and I am sure it is encouraging to many women who are on their 8, 9, umpteenth cycle trying. For those of us just starting out, I think it is a good dose of reality
A colleague of mine had to go through 7 years (!) of unsuccessful TTC'ing, IF treatments, 2 m/c and a lot of heartache. She gave birth to her son in June and knowing her story scared me a bit, too, I must admit.
When you are so fresh in your TTC journey you don't think about the worst case scenarios, but think you'll get pregnant within 6 months or so. Hearing a story about someone trying for so long without getting pregnant can be eye opening and scary.
And while it can be encouraging to hear that it did happen in the end, it can just as well be discouraging to realize you might have to wait longer than you hoped. I understand what the OP tried to say.
You are so defensive! RELAX.
People are responding to how you phrased your initial post. your initial post is odd. Very odd. Without the details people cannot read your intent or meaning behind your post. That is why clarification is good, and patience to get your thought across.
To hang out here, you need thick skin, the ability to clarify without freaking out, and big girl panties.
Mommy to Rachel 1.15.06 and Ashley 5.17.11
I see both sides that OP and PP have already discussed. BUT, far more importantly, I love the word "umpteenth," and don't get to use it nearly enough.
Agree completely. I'm on my 10th cycle and I will most likely continue to be discouraged every time AF rears her ugly head. I know realistically how long this can take, but don't want to accept that. To the OP, there was nothing wrong with your post, I understand completely, and think some other people need to relax. I don't understand why you got a hard time for being honest. Isn't that what sites like this are for? To express your feelings and hope someone can relate?
In total agreement with you MM : )
This. I get what you were saying. It is kinda horrifing to think that a couple with no IF issues can still have a hard time getting pg. BUT you must think positively and know that that's not the norm! We will all get there!
I understand what you were saying. Before we started TTC, I had no idea it could take that much time to get pregnant!
We are on cycle 16 of trying. Trust me, I never thought it would take THIS long!
I'm in a better place than I was a few months ago with it. But I wish I would have prepared myself more earlier on for a long haul. I know you weren't asking for advice, but if I may offer some, two cycles is nothing. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
Good luck to you!
March 2011 100mg Clomid+Estradoil+HCG Trigger+IUI#1=BFN
April 2011 100mg Clomid+Estradoil+HCG Trigger+IUI#2 on 4/14/11