Trying to Get Pregnant

2 & a half years...

Just talked to a long lost friend of mine who just had her second baby. It took her 2 1/2 years to get pregnant with her first (she was perfectly healthy) and 11 mo. with her second. So very happy for her BUT how discouraging....
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Re: 2 & a half years...

  • ???

    So, a woman dealing with fertility problems becoming pregnant TWICE and having two healthy babies is discouraging?

    Color me confused. 

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    3 years ttc #1 with Stage 3 endo, cysts, DOR and mild MFI. Lap in June 2011, followed by High Dose Lupron, continuous BCP, acupuncture, and herbal supplements
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  • Of course you are discouraged, other women's ability to get pregnant directly effects your ability to get pregnant. Quick, find some women who got knocked up on accident without even trying and tip the scales back in your favor...
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  • That sounds encouraging to me! It just gives me hope that even if it takes awhile, it can still happen!
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  • OMG, you people will find anything to argue with. 

    I meant the length of time because I am so anxious.

  • image Milliways:
    Of course you are discouraged, other women's ability to get pregnant directly effects your ability to get pregnant. Quick, find some women who got knocked up on accident without even trying and tip the scales back in your favor...

    Didn't you know, MIlli? Fertility/IF is catching! That's why you drink the water where the pg. ladies are!

    imageimageimageimage


    3 years ttc #1 with Stage 3 endo, cysts, DOR and mild MFI. Lap in June 2011, followed by High Dose Lupron, continuous BCP, acupuncture, and herbal supplements
    Lucky cycle 38 - Nov. 2011 IUI #2 - Follistim + Trigger =BFP! 11/19~Beta #1=114, 11/21~Beta #2=280, 11/29~Beta #3=7770, 12/6 - We have a heartbeat!

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  • image TheMrsRN:
    That sounds encouraging to me! It just gives me hope that even if it takes awhile, it can still happen!

    Exactly this.

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  • image AngelinaOMelia:

    OMG, you people will find anything to argue with. 

    I meant the length of time because I am so anxious.

    I'm genuinely confused by why this would discourage you. Not trying to start an arguement at all, but why wouldn't that be encouraging? 

    imageimageimageimage


    3 years ttc #1 with Stage 3 endo, cysts, DOR and mild MFI. Lap in June 2011, followed by High Dose Lupron, continuous BCP, acupuncture, and herbal supplements
    Lucky cycle 38 - Nov. 2011 IUI #2 - Follistim + Trigger =BFP! 11/19~Beta #1=114, 11/21~Beta #2=280, 11/29~Beta #3=7770, 12/6 - We have a heartbeat!

    image
  • Sorry, didn't mean to piss people off. I was just saying it was a little discouraging because I have only been trying for two cycles and already it feels like a lifetime. Again because I am so anxious.

    AND - she did not have fertility problems, that's just how long it took them. So I guess since it took her that long it will affect my ability to concieve. Yikes! What a joke!

  • image Mrs.Umm:
    image AngelinaOMelia:

    OMG, you people will find anything to argue with. 

    I meant the length of time because I am so anxious.

    I'm genuinely confused by why this would discourage you. Not trying to start an arguement at all, but why wouldn't that be encouraging? 

     

    Not to say I agree with the OP but I can see where she  is coming from.  I think so many woman think that as soon as they are ready it will happen, but the more you learn about your body and that it can take even a healthy couple a year, you start to feel a little sad or maybe even have regrets on waiting to start.  It's like you want it when you want it  but learning that it doesn't work like that can be a little disappointing, not necessarily discouraging, to me anyway. 

     ETA:  A story like this can be extremely encouraging to someone that has been trying for awhile or to someone who has fertility issues, but it isn't all that encouraging when you're just starting out.  It is still an amazing happy story nonetheless, but I wouldn't feel all that encouraged at my current stage of TTTC


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  • image AngelinaOMelia:

    Sorry, didn't mean to piss people off. I was just saying it was a little discouraging because I have only been trying for two cycles and already it feels like a lifetime. Again because I am so anxious.

    AND - she did not have fertility problems, that's just how long it took them. So I guess since it took her that long it will affect my ability to concieve. Yikes! What a joke!

    I'm sorry you feel discouraged but 2 cycles in is awfully early to be this upset.  Your friend may not have been diagnosed, but anything over a year is not considered average, unless there are known IF issues.  Correct me if I am wrong ladies.

     

    You might want to quit while you're *ahead*.

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  • image AngelinaOMelia:

    Sorry, didn't mean to piss people off. I was just saying it was a little discouraging because I have only been trying for two cycles and already it feels like a lifetime. Again because I am so anxious.

    AND - she did not have fertility problems, that's just how long it took them. So I guess since it took her that long it will affect my ability to concieve. Yikes! What a joke!

    You didn't piss me off and I wasn't trying to argue. 2 cycles is nothing to be discouraged about. It can take a healthy couple up to a year to get pregnant. If she didn't have any issues and neither did her DH, then she probably wasn't timing every cycle right. If you are so anxious now, just wait!

    Can't wait to meet our miracle this November!! BabyFruit Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • image soontobemrsdavis:
    image Mrs.Umm:
    image AngelinaOMelia:

    OMG, you people will find anything to argue with. 

    I meant the length of time because I am so anxious.

    I'm genuinely confused by why this would discourage you. Not trying to start an arguement at all, but why wouldn't that be encouraging? 

     

    Not to say I agree with the OP but I can see where she  is coming from.  I think so many woman think that as soon as they are ready it will happen, but the more you learn about your body and that it can take even a healthy couple a year, you start to feel a little sad or maybe even have regrets on waiting to start.  It's like you want it when you want it  but learning that it doesn't work like that can be a little disappointing, not necessarily discouraging, to me anyway

    This.

    I think disappointing is a better word than discouraging.  Or perhaps disillusioned?  So many of us were living in a fantasy world before we started to become really and truly educated and informed  about our fertility.  To have an example of reality, like the OP's friend, forces us to accept the reality that it could take some time.

    I think too that maybe whether you view this situation as being more encouraging or discouraging depends on the length of time you've been trying.  Those who have already been through the waiting seem more encouraged to see people like them conceive healthy children after time.  Those who are newer, like the OP, haven't felt  the accumulated heartbreak of AFs or neg HPTs cycle after cycle, month after month.  I know from experience that it is heartbreaking in and of itself just to find out how difficult the road ahead of you may be.

    I'm somewhere in the middle, I think.

    JMO

  • You just talked to a long lost friend about fertility problems? Am I the only one who finds this somewhat weird? It's not like I'd call someone up after 7 years and talk about problems getting pregnant.

    I too am encouraged - 2.5 years is a long to wait and keep the faith. I can only hope that if it takes me that long, I don't give up.

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  • I am allowed to be a little discouraged about the amount of time it could possibly take. Don't get me wrong I am MORE than extatic for her as she was very discouraged herself. I'm just saying in my circumstance where it is a fear of mine (as I am sure this is a normal and very common fear and many feel the same) that I might not be able to get pregnant I felt a little discouraged.
  • Wow, dissect my whole sentence! Now someone is complaining about that she was a long lost friend? How is that weird? She found me on facebook, just had a baby, asked me what my plans were for that, and we chatted from there on out. How the HELL is that weird?
  • image AngelinaOMelia:
    I am allowed to be a little discouraged about the amount of time it could possibly take. Don't get me wrong I am MORE than extatic for her as she was very discouraged herself. I'm just saying in my circumstance where it is a fear of mine (as I am sure this is a normal and very common fear and many feel the same) that I might not be able to get pregnant I felt a little discouraged.

    But your friend DID get pregnant. That is the encouraging part. Yes, you are allowed to be discouraged. However, if you are already upset after 2 months, I can't imagine how you'll feel after 4, 6, 12, etc...

    Can't wait to meet our miracle this November!! BabyFruit Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • image soontobemrsdavis:
    image Mrs.Umm:
    image AngelinaOMelia:

    OMG, you people will find anything to argue with. 

    I meant the length of time because I am so anxious.

    I'm genuinely confused by why this would discourage you. Not trying to start an arguement at all, but why wouldn't that be encouraging? 

     

    Not to say I agree with the OP but I can see where she  is coming from.  I think so many woman think that as soon as they are ready it will happen, but the more you learn about your body and that it can take even a healthy couple a year, you start to feel a little sad or maybe even have regrets on waiting to start.  It's like you want it when you want it  but learning that it doesn't work like that can be a little disappointing, not necessarily discouraging, to me anyway. 

     ETA:  A story like this can be extremely encouraging to someone that has been trying for awhile or to someone who has fertility issues, but it isn't all that encouraging when you're just starting out.  It is still an amazing happy story nonetheless, but I wouldn't feel all that encouraged at my current stage of TTTC

    I can totally sympathize with the sentiment behind the OP.  Before I started learning about all this, I thought my body would be ready to conceive soon after I got on BCP.  

    It is definitely disappointing to know that a healthy couple can take a year to conceive.  That being said, I also see the silver lining in know that after 2.5 years your friend conceived.  

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  • I'm sure I'm the ONLY one to have this feeling 2 months in. Yah, okay!

    Some of you act like I am SO SO upset. I was simply expressing a feeling that I felt in that moment and thought many would sympathize. Guess not!

  • image AngelinaOMelia:

    I'm sure I'm the ONLY one to have this feeling 2 months in. Yah, okay!

    Some of you act like I am SO SO upset. I was simply expressing a feeling that I felt in that moment and thought many would sympathize. Guess not!

    Sure, many of us who made the decision to start or expand our family were ready right then, so of course disappointment when it didn't happen right away was felt. However, many of us also know that another woman's journey has not effect on our own.

    Sorry we did all jump to sympathize with your poorly stated expression of your emotion. Try harder next time to clearly communicate and have some patience is the best advice you can get right now.

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  • image AngelinaOMelia:

    I'm sure I'm the ONLY one to have this feeling 2 months in. Yah, okay!

    Some of you act like I am SO SO upset. I was simply expressing a feeling that I felt in that moment and thought many would sympathize. Guess not!

    Was I hoping that I would be one of the lucky ones to get KU right away? YES! Am I sad that I am having issues? No, because my problems could be alot worse. I know that I will get my BFP when God has planned. His plan is better than any plan I could come up with on my own.

    There is no reason to be upset. We were just letting you know that 2 months is not long at all. You could still get KU in your next few cycles and would be considered a lucky one.

    Can't wait to meet our miracle this November!! BabyFruit Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • The way you expressed this is insensitive. There are women here who've tried for years and you're "discouraged" after 2 cycles. You should have listened to the PP who suggested you quit while you were ahead.

    And countdown to DD in 5...4...3...

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  • Well I apologize for offending people.
  • image AngelinaOMelia:
    Well I apologize for offending people.

    OP- Try not to get upset by these responses. I understand what you were trying to state in your post, but I can also see how others would take it.

    I'm only on my first cycle TTC and I am "anxious" to see how things go. But because of my time lurking on this board I think I have a good perspective of how long it may take to get that BFP.

    I'm very happy for your friend and I am sure it is encouraging to many women who are on their 8, 9, umpteenth cycle trying. For those of us just starting out, I think it is a good dose of reality Smile


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  • A colleague of mine had to go through 7 years (!) of unsuccessful TTC'ing, IF treatments, 2 m/c and a lot of heartache. She gave birth to her son in June and knowing her story scared me a bit, too, I must admit.

    When you are so fresh in your TTC journey you don't think about the worst case scenarios, but think you'll get pregnant within 6 months or so. Hearing a story about someone trying for so long without getting pregnant can be eye opening and scary.

    And while it can be encouraging to hear that it did happen in the end, it can just as well be discouraging to realize you might have to wait longer than you hoped. I understand what the OP tried to say.

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  • image AngelinaOMelia:
    Wow, dissect my whole sentence! Now someone is complaining about that she was a long lost friend? How is that weird? She found me on facebook, just had a baby, asked me what my plans were for that, and we chatted from there on out. How the HELL is that weird?

    You are so defensive! RELAX.

    People are responding to how you phrased your initial post. your initial post is odd. Very odd. Without the details people cannot read your intent or meaning behind your post. That is why clarification is good, and patience to get your thought across.

    To hang out here, you need thick skin, the ability to clarify without freaking out, and big girl panties.

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  • image msmarsh:

    image AngelinaOMelia:
    Well I apologize for offending people.

    OP- Try not to get upset by these responses. I understand what you were trying to state in your post, but I can also see how others would take it.

    I'm only on my first cycle TTC and I am "anxious" to see how things go. But because of my time lurking on this board I think I have a good perspective of how long it may take to get that BFP.

    I'm very happy for your friend and I am sure it is encouraging to many women who are on their 8, 9, umpteenth cycle trying. For those of us just starting out, I think it is a good dose of reality Smile

    I see both sides that OP and PP have already discussed.  BUT, far more importantly, I love the word "umpteenth," and don't get to use it nearly enough.

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  • image Ricola:

    A colleague of mine had to go through 7 years (!) of unsuccessful TTC'ing, IF treatments, 2 m/c and a lot of heartache. She gave birth to her son in June and knowing her story scared me a bit, too, I must admit.

    When you are so fresh in your TTC journey you don't think about the worst case scenarios, but think you'll get pregnant within 6 months or so. Hearing a story about someone trying for so long without getting pregnant can be eye opening and scary.

    And while it can be encouraging to hear that it did happen in the end, it can just as well be discouraging to realize you might have to wait longer than you hoped. I understand what the OP tried to say.

     

    Agree completely. I'm on my 10th cycle and I will most likely continue to be discouraged every time AF rears her ugly head. I know realistically how long this can take, but don't want to accept that. To the OP, there was nothing wrong with your post, I understand completely, and think some other people need to relax. I don't understand why you got a hard time for being honest. Isn't that what sites like this are for? To express your feelings and hope someone can relate?

  • image maddiemoon43:
    image msmarsh:

    I'm very happy for your friend and I am sure it is encouraging to many women who are on their 8, 9, umpteenth cycle trying. For those of us just starting out, I think it is a good dose of reality Smile

    I see both sides that OP and PP have already discussed.  BUT, far more importantly, I love the word "umpteenth," and don't get to use it nearly enough.

    In total agreement with you MM : )


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  • image MrsCoddington:
    image Ricola:

    A colleague of mine had to go through 7 years (!) of unsuccessful TTC'ing, IF treatments, 2 m/c and a lot of heartache. She gave birth to her son in June and knowing her story scared me a bit, too, I must admit.

    When you are so fresh in your TTC journey you don't think about the worst case scenarios, but think you'll get pregnant within 6 months or so. Hearing a story about someone trying for so long without getting pregnant can be eye opening and scary.

    And while it can be encouraging to hear that it did happen in the end, it can just as well be discouraging to realize you might have to wait longer than you hoped. I understand what the OP tried to say.

     

    Agree completely. I'm on my 10th cycle and I will most likely continue to be discouraged every time AF rears her ugly head. I know realistically how long this can take, but don't want to accept that. To the OP, there was nothing wrong with your post, I understand completely, and think some other people need to relax. I don't understand why you got a hard time for being honest. Isn't that what sites like this are for? To express your feelings and hope someone can relate?

    This.  I get what you were saying.  It is kinda horrifing to think that a couple with no IF issues can still have a hard time getting pg.  BUT you must think positively and know that that's not the norm!  We will all get there!  :)

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