1st Trimester

I talked to my brother this morning.

He was very upset with me, but I expected that. He said that even if I was raped, I shouldn't have let myself be in that situation. I told him that it wasn't right to blame a victim, and he didn't say anything else.

As I said before, image is very important to him. I'm going to stay with a friend of his, who is a minister, in Washington until I have the baby. My brother said that if I keep the baby, I will not be welcome in his house. Although it makes me sad, I think giving the baby up for adoption is the wisest choice.

I don't know if I'll be on here anymore. I leave Wednesday, and the minister doesn't have the internet at his house.

Thank you all for your support.  

Re: I talked to my brother this morning.

  • In 10 years you will be very sorry you didn't go to the police.
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  • Good luck to you - I hope it works out for the best. As pp said, I would still consider reporting this - this ex bf of yours could and probably will do this to another woman.
     
  • Anna, whatever anyone else might say, I'm proud of you.  You've done the right thing.  I'm sorry your brother didn't take it very well, but you're more than correct in saying that it's not right to blame a victim.  The next nine months may be rough, but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.  If you ever need anything, feel free to pm me.  I still recommend filing a police report, though.  God be with you!
  • Please go to the police.

    Good luck with everything. 

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  • I'm sorry your brother didn't take this better, but I'm glad there's an option for you. (quick note: shouldn't a minister be about helping those in need? Just saying...) I wish you the best of luck in the coming months and I hope you find some peace with the decision to put this baby up for adoption. I'm sorry you have to go through all of this at such a young age and I hope that in time you'll be able to move forward.
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  • I think you are doing a great job with this situation by telling your brother and putting the child up for adoption but I do think you should report this to the police. Good luck with everything you decide and I'm sorry your brother reacted to badly. That wasn't a very christian-like attitude in my opinion.

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  • I am proud that you did the right thing, it?s unfortunate that your brother reacted the way he did (I?m sure he will come around) but know in your heart that you made the right decision. I would also consider doing a police report to make sure he does not do this to someone else. Normal people don't slip a drug into someone's drink and think it?s okay to do something horrible against someone?s will.  What the hell was he thinking??

    I grew up in a very religious family and image was very very important in our family. My father was the first to say about the image and being perfect, but you know what the unfortunate thing was? He was not what he said he was or not what he presented himself as. Everyone thought he was so great and we were scared to say anything.  He was cheating on my mother without her knowing, beat her up for stupid little things and  us. When he went to church he would put on a holy face. I grew up with two half brothers, the half brother from my father?s side molested me.  When I grew up I understood that image meant nothing. It's what you have in your heart Anna. I can?t tell you how hard my life has been till I turned 21. It took a long time for me to get back on track and to become "normal" again.  Everyone has their own story, and no one is perfect ( I hope your brother learns that) . God is love and he will take care of you! It?s just very sad and it really sucks when things like this happen to good people like you but I do know that God will bless you! Your brother will hopefully come around when his time is right (giving him the benefit of the doubt)! You take care of yourself; I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. If you ever get a chance you should write. Have a happy and healthy 9 months and God be with you.

     

    P.S. keep in mind your body will go through a lot of changes. Mood swings, emotions, different symptoms etc. Good luck!

     

  • image Oksana Weber:

    I am proud that you did the right thing, it?s unfortunate that your brother reacted the way he did (I?m sure he will come around) but know in your heart that you made the right decision. I would also consider doing a police report to make sure he does not do this to someone else. Normal people don't slip a drug into someone's drink and think it?s okay to do something horrible against someone?s will.  What the hell was he thinking??

    I grew up in a very religious family and image was very very important in our family. My father was the first to say about the image and being perfect, but you know what the unfortunate thing was? He was not what he said he was or not what he presented himself as. Everyone thought he was so great and we were scared to say anything.  He was cheating on my mother without her knowing, beat her up for stupid little things and  us. When he went to church he would put on a holy face. I grew up with two half brothers, the half brother from my father?s side molested me.  When I grew up I understood that image meant nothing. It's what you have in your heart Anna. I can?t tell you how hard my life has been till I turned 21. It took a long time for me to get back on track and to become "normal" again.  Everyone has their own story, and no one is perfect. He is love and he will take care of you! It?s just very sad and it really sucks when things like this happen to good people like you but I do know that God will bless you! Your brother will come around when his time is right! You take care of yourself; I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. If you ever get a chance you should write. Have a happy and healthy 9 months and God be with you.

     

    P.S. keep in mind your body will go through a lot of changes. Mood swings, emotions, different symptoms etc. Good luck!

     

    Her BROTHER is a hypocritical a$$hole. Did your family come around for you?  Sending her away to hide her "shame" is disgusting.  Doing the right thing?

    Please.

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  •  

     

    Her BROTHER is a hypocritical a$$hole. Did your family come around for you?  Sending her away to hide her "shame" is disgusting.  Doing the right thing?

     

    Please.

    RESPONSE:

    She did the right thing by telling her brother but I agree with you that her brother didnt.  I wish he didnt make the decision he did. Thats what my story was there for, that they WERE NOT THERE FOR ME as well as in her case!

    Saying that he will come around is "hoping he will come around" not meaning he did or will. 

    My blog in NOT on his side, its giving him a benefit of the doubt  and if he doesnt then he is an idiot.

    I hope this clerifies a little.

  • Lurking from 2nd tri,

    First off I am so sorry for what has happened to you.  Please, for yourself and for other girls out there call the police.  There may be issues of he said she said, but your b/f told you he did it.  It's rape no consent and inability to give consent is rape. If he would drug and he will do it again.  I made the mistake of not reporting a guy that tried to rape me in college, I have never forgiven myself, and maybe if I had gone to the police for the assault I would of saved some other girl from him.

    I think your situation is unfortunate and your brother sending you away is upsetting to me, you did the right thing by going to him for support, he did the wrong thing by turning his back on you.

    Please don't forget that it's YOUR body, you make the choices, I know the choice to have sex wasn't left to you but the choices you make now are!  Don't let anyone force you into a decision you are not comfortable with whether it's abortion or not, or keeping the baby or adoption.  You have every right to choose for yourself.  I wish you the best of luck.

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  • I agree with the other ladies that you need to go to the police! But I am glad you told your brother and I am sorry he reacted the way he did!

    Good luck to you in the coming months!!

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  • image AimeeMW:

    I agree with the other ladies that you need to go to the police! But I am glad you told your brother and I am sorry he reacted the way he did!

    Good luck to you in the coming months!!

    this... I wish you the best of luck...

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  • ::lurker::

    The police would have been beneficial when she was first raped. Now there is no real evidence. The drugs in her system are long gone, semen is gone, marks/bruises are gone, and any sign of  resistance is gone. It would be a he said/ she said situation. The baby is the only proof and that only proves sex.

    Why do I know this? It happened to my friend. It sucks but it's the truth.

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  • When those you trust leave you in the dark, God will light the way! He will be with you through this trying time. Remember this and know that everything will work out in the end. I'm sorry your brother was not kind to you, but God is love. And He will never, never turn you away.

    God bless you and your baby! Praying for a happy and healthy nine months!

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  • Do you currently go to a church locally? Is there some other adult you trust that you can talk to like a teacher?  You need a lot of support right now and part of that is going to be reporting this to the police. Call a rape crisis center. The people that answer the phone have either been through what you have or are trained and knowledgable. They'll talk to you and help you going forward.

    I'm afraid your brother is just ignorant and doesn't understand....

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