3rd Trimester

Is your husband

Is your husband going to the baby shower?  

 

 I would like for him to be there seeing it is his children as well so it would be nice for him to be part of this and second I need help with opening gifts because I am on bed rest and will be in the recliner.  I would love for him to be in the pics that will go in the scrap books. It is something I want him to be part of  and share it with him but I am so sick of hearing people say that it is just for women. I feel like that is so dated. I feel like It is a personal choice and anything goes these days.  Our dads and my brothers will be there too.  It is a special occasion and I want my loved ones there.. am I strange for feeling this way?  Maybe I am being too sensitive. We tried for so long to get preg so I feel like this is a celebration for the both of us.

Re: Is your husband

  • My hubby's not going, but only because he really has no interest in it. I asked him if he wanted to be involved and he was like, "Uhhh. NO!"

    It does go either way. Some people have it all their girlfriends and other people make it a couple's thing. It really just depends on what you and your hubby want.

  • No my husband did not go. Yes they are his children, too, but as parents you will not both be involved in EVERY aspect of every little thing that involves them. I know some dads like to go and/or it is the norm in some areas, but my DH wasn't interested and he would have been the only guy. BTW, he is an extremely involved father (pretty much takes over their care when he gets home from work at 4 until bedtime at 730) so going to the shower is not like a good dad requirement ;)  I am sure your friends/family will help with presents.
    Claire Zoe, 10.26.10

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    Brady Phoenix, 8.29.09

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    Abigail Noelle, 8.29.09

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  • I had a shower with friends that he didn't go to, was girls only. And my family did a big shower that was co-ed that he did go to. It was fun for the guys. Had beer and meat and everything lol.
    TTC#2 since Sep 2011

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  • I've gone to showers where the husband was there and it wasn't a problem at all. 

    With that being said my husband isn't going to the first one, it's thrown by long-time family friends of my mother. But he is going to the co-ed one that's thrown by my best friend. IMO it just depends on what you want after all it is for your shower.

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  • My DH didn't come to my showers.  He came by afterwards when it was just a few family members to help pick up presents.  He didn't want to be there with all the women and I had no preference. 

     

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  • My DH did not go (I only had one with DD, not with this LO), but he had no interest in going.  But if I was on bed rest and he was willing to go, I wouldn't want anyone else there to help with opening gifts for our kiddo.  I wouldn't worry about what other people are saying. 
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  • He came for a little while at the beginning and then again at the end.  However, I've been to showers where the dad has been there.  Do what works for you!
  • Mine was expressly not invited. I was disappointed, but that's what the hosts wanted -- something "girly." He was relieved to be left out of it.

    Thinking of making him do the thank you cards. ;-)

  • DH was at my baby shower last year for DD. I totally wanted him there, and I didn't care if he was the only guy or not. (Both of our dads made appearances, though they did not stay for the whole thing.)

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  • My first shower  was girls only, but DH still went to help with presents.  He hung out  with his brother (SIL was throwing the shower) while we played games and ate.  My second shower is co-ed and my mom is doing a cigar bar and 'manly' games for the men outside.
  • we are having two showers the first one os all women and DH will not be there the second is co ed and he will be goin. If ther will be other men there I think he should go.
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  • it's your choice. to be quite honest, why should there be rules for YOUR baby, and YOUR babyshower? Unless the person throwing it has a serious problem with your request, I would do it. We had a coed shower for friends, and then another coed one for family. It was realy cool to get everyone together to celebrate. I think the only thing to be worried about is if it is a shoer geared towards women, the men may feel a little out of place, so try to make it fun for them too.
  • DH was there but really only for the opening of the gifts. He was in and out, he had a couple of guy friends there. I wanted him there, at least to open gifts.
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  • I had/am having 3 showers.  My first was a my mom's family/FIL's family/close friends shower and it was all women.  My DH hung around and watched the kids, ate, and helped out (brought in chairs, cleaned up, etc).  My second was a church-wide shower and it was all women.  My DH didn't attend.  He took DS to do stuff during it.  My next shower is another family shower and it is women, men, and kids (anyone who wants to come).  This is my MIL's family.  DH will attend and probably unwrap as I am massive (will be 32 weeks with twins - I am as big as an over-term woman right now). 

    I think it should be whatever you want it to be.  If you want your DH there and he wants to be there, who cares.  If you want all women, who cares.  Make it what you want.  I always thought showers were mainly women, but I've been to all kinds in the past few years.  My DH would be uncomfortable if it was all women and just him (unless it was all close family and friends).

  • My mother threw the shower, but he "hosted" it. He held the games, talked when I was opening presents etc.... IDK what I would do without him there, all the problems that we came across at the shower he was on it. He made the shower amazing!
  • Thanks everyone for your response! :)
  • My mom threw our shower for us. From the beginning she knew we both wanted to attend and wanted everyone to be included. My SO was there the entire time. We had a "jack and jill" I guess you could call it. We both have large families and had about 80 ppl there at one point. All of our aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, etc. were there. It was held at a farm which had a pavilion with a stocked bass pond next to it so if the guys got bored they could fish, but most didn't even, everyone was entertained and into it. We served desert (the cake and some cheese cakes) while the gifts were being opened which was nice because sometimes watching someone else open gifts can get boring. (if you have a large shower.)

    My SO opened all the presents with me and afterwards we took maternity shots under this arbor that was there and then took more with my family and his family. It was such a great day for both of us and our family and friends talk about it all the time. (the guys, too!) and I was so glad he was there because it was more for "us" not really for just me. I think it's your shower and whoever is throwing it loves you and will understand that you want him there! Hope it's a great day for you!

  • My husband went to my baby shower (and my wedding shower for that matter).  I LOVED that he was there.  I don't love being alone in the spotlight, and it took a lot of the pressure off of me.  Also, we live across the country, and we need to make the most of our "visiting" time when we get home.  I think it would be stupid for him to sit at my parents' house basically alone when he could get to know my family/friends better.

    I'm not judging anyone who wants a "girls only" event because I can see how that would be fun.  However, in my honest opinion, I think that the idea that babies and baby showers are a "girl" thing is antiquated (at best).  To me, showers aren't about oohing and ahhing about onesies and little dresses and bottles.  I think it is more about being with your family and friends during an exciting time. 

    I think that it made my husband feel like he was part of the pregnancy more than he had before.  I think it made it even more real to him to actually talk to everyone and see all the gifts and how excited everyone was.  

    Good luck!  

  • My DH was slightly hurt when I told him that I assumed it would be women only at the shower. He told me that he really wants to be there because he's just as excited about DD as I am. So I told my sister, who is hosting the shower, and she's going to have it as a coed shower. I'm really excited about it because 1) I am friends with his friends too so it'll be good to see them and 2) we're inviting DH's family members, some of whom are kind of strange, so it'll be good to have him there as my buffer! Smile
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  • My hubby came to my shower.  It was really family and a couple close friends (we are fairly new to the state and haven't really made many friends yet) and small so it was more like a BBQ with us getting gifts.  He hung out with my father the whole time so he had fun :)  I also wanted him there since I hate being the center of attention and he helped with gifts.  Do whatever you want and are comfortable with.  Your shower, you make the rules :)
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  • SO showed up in the last 20 minutes to say hello, thank you, and load up the gifts! I wouldnt make him go to a shower with silly games and 30+ women.. he would have been miserable
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  • DH is going to come by for opening the gifts at the end... He has some golfing planned for earlier in the day..
    BFP: 3-6-10 EDD: 11-10-10 Baby Girl Came 11-1-10
  • I guess I'm old fashion too, my DH, my dad, brother and male best friend will all be there (and they don't really care) They were all at my bridal shower too and nobody cared, it was great having the extra hands to help take down decorations (and set up I guess, I wasn't there), carry everything to the car and run if we needed anything that we forgot.
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  • dh will be traveling for work so no, but if he was home i would have him out of the house for say the first 2 hours and then come home as the party was breaking up so he could say his hello and thankyous
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  • We did a co-ed shower which was more of a party than anything else... We didn't have any of the baby shower games because I HATE those things. husband was there because he wanted to be there... he just hung out outside with the guys until it was time to open gifts. 
  • We had two co-ed showers (one with family & one with friends) and my DH was happy to attend both.  We like to share life's awkward moments together :)
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  • We are doing the same thing as my wedding shower- he will not be there for most of it but will make an appearance at the end (as all the guys, like my brothers, his brother, our dads).  Don't tell them but, it's mostly so they can help load all the gifts into the car!!

  • we decided for him yesterday that he was ... we don't really have a reason why other than it is his kiddo too....i don't much pay attention to etiquette or anything like that... i just say do what you want to do and that you will have fun doing.. this is your day and it should be shared with Dh if you want it to be
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