Babies: 3 - 6 Months

Drama at our first playdate

So today we had our first playdate with one of my bestfriends and one of her friends.  Their LO's are both 2 months.  I was really excited until I soon realized our parenting styles were moajorly different.  She let her DD CIO on the playmat basically the whole time.  I kept asking her if she wanted me to get her but she informed me that she is trying to teach her DD that she doesn't respond to her cries immediately to teach her patience.  WTF?!? I tried to stay composed and told her that her daughter was too young to understand that.  I also pointed out that she is crying for a reason and that is her only way of communication.  She then also told me hr daughter cries in her crib for an hour everynight before falling asleep.  She shuts her daughters bedroom door, then their bedroom door so they don't have to hear her.  I can't believe this is going on.  It's hard to tell people how to raise their kid especially because she is very outspoken and hard headed.  She kept trying to persuade my friend to try this too.  I also found out this idiot changes her diaper at 10pm and then not again til the am.  Even when her DD wakes up for her mid night feeding. I couldn't believe that either.  I was fuming the whole playdate!
image Photobucket

Re: Drama at our first playdate

  • Note:  My DD has never CIO a single night and sleeps 9-10 hrs straight.  I told her this and that her DD will STTN when she is ready.
    image Photobucket
  • WOW - I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut.  Poor LO.  That makes me sad just thinking about it. 
    proof-3 Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • yikes!  that poor baby :(  to know that she was ok letting her baby CIO in front of other people like that makes me scared to know what goes on when no one else is around.  argh.
  • Wow!!! What's this friends phone number??? I will jack her up for you!!! Angry

    AGAIN... I got chewed out when I said this once on here, but some people should not have kids!!! Just because you want a kid doesn't mean you won't be an idiot parent!!! This chick should NOT have a kid. Plain. and. Simple.

    High risk momma: Diagnosed with a partially abrupted placenta at 32 weeks and sentenced to strict bed rest for the remainder. Pregnancy Ticker} {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252 \strokec2 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker}
  • That is so sad!  Poor baby.  Even the biggest advocates of CIO say 2 months is way too early to try it.  I don't do it at all myself, but my understanding is that it's not about leaving your baby alone in their room for an hour to scream it out, there is some soothing/patting involved. Also, it's a sleep training method, not an ignore your LO's needs method!  Crying on the floor all day is not going to teach that baby anything other then "no one responds to my needs".  Everyone has their own parenting style and she probably will just blow off whatever you say that differs with her own plan.  Maybe buy her a book?
    image

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • That is horrible. I would have had a hard time keeping my mouth shut. 

    DD#1 is 3! And LO#2 is on his/her way! Due Feb 26th, 2014.

     

    BFP#1: EDD 5/7/2010 born on 5/20/2010. A little girl named Emily.  

    BFP#2: m/c 10/29/2012 EDD was 6/21/2012 Baby Hope was 6 weeks 3 days. 

    BFP#3: Twin B stopped growing at 8 weeks and 5 days. Found on 8/10/2014. EDD was 2/26/2014. Twin A is still doing great and due date is 2/26/14. 

     

  • I'm very anti- CIO so I agree with you on all of that, but I don't get the diaper thing.  DD gets a new diaper before bed and then not again until the morning.  She wakes up at 1:30am to eat, but I don't change her. 

     

    image
    image
  • Sad! I agree with PP that some people just aren't cut out to be parents. I wonder where she learned her parenting skills from? To let her cry on the floor during the daytime makes me think she was mislead by somebody (possibly).

  • image ToBeMrsT:

    I'm very anti- CIO so I agree with you on all of that, but I don't get the diaper thing.  DD gets a new diaper before bed and then not again until the morning.  She wakes up at 1:30am to eat, but I don't change her. 

     

    This- At the advice of our pedi and other mom friends we haven't changed her from the get go in the middle of the night unless she was dirty. We have never had any issues, diaper rash or anything. If we were to change her she'd be wide awake and I think the sleep is most important.

    BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Anniversary
  • I just dealt with something similar while visiting my parents, (LO just turned 2 months) and they kept telling me that I needed to let him cry for longer before picking him up. He's 2 months old! (not to mention I'm VERY pro attachment parenting). I had to bite my tongue to keep the visit pleasant, while picking him up and saying "Yep, I'm teaching him to be spoiled and expect me to be there every time he's upset."  Every parent will have their own style, and since every baby and parent are unique the "best style" for each pair will be different. That's not to say that this isn't going WAY too far. I agree that getting this mother a book that favors the CIO method, and explains how to properly implement it would probably work better than trying to argue with her about it. 

  • Kazoinkers. This chick has been lead down a path toward future disaster! Who ever gave her this ridiculous notion should be smacked! If she came to it on her own, she should be smacked! Here are some links to possibly send her.

    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

    http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/

    http://www.infantsleep.org/cryingitoutresearch.html

    http://www.sleepnet.com/infant3/messages/534.html 

    There is some serious science being conducted to steer parents away from CIO methods. It isn't mentally or physically healthy and anthropologically speaking, it simply doesn't make sense. There is a biologic reason we have such an inate reaction to our baby's cries. 

    As her friend, step in. Say something. Even if it ends the friendship, you can walk away knowing you did what you thought was best for that defenseless little baby.  Who knows, maybe you can sway her and all will be better. 

    Good luck and keep picking up your babies!!! 

  • This is what happens when people who know nothing about children end up having kids, and think they know what's best just because they gave birth to them. Sorry, but just because your a mother, doesn't mean, you know what's best, some of the dumbest people on earth have kids, and think they know best, and that's why children suffocate in a crib filled with blankets, pillows, toys, etc...

     If you really want to try out the CIO form of parenting, do some actual research on it first, because anyone will tell you 2 months old is ridiculous to start that!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Aww! That is so sad! We don't do CIO, and I can't IMAGINE doing it in front of others at a playdate where the crying affects not only mommy and baby, but everyone else! I respond to my baby almost immediately all the time and she doesn't cry any more or less (actually probably less) than other babies. She goes to sleep wide awake and hardly ever cries - if she does she ALWAYS needs something! Babies don't cry just to be brats! I feel sorry for that baby!
  • Can someone tell me please what CIO stands for? Sorry I'm just really new to all this.

    I have a two month old and there is no way I would let her cry! And I change her diaper at the very least 10 times a day (I'm sure it's more than that!). She also still sleeps in our room in her pack n play next to my side of the bed. I would not have been able to keep quiet either! Poor LO!! I totally agree with someone who posted earlier that some people shouldn't be parents. It makes me really sad for her.

  • Okay. I just figured out it stand for Crying It Out?. So sad!

  • I agree on the diaper thing - I read on another site that they do NOT need to be changed in the middle of the night unless it's a poopy, which is rare when they get to the age of sleeping through. The diapers these days are absorbant enough that their butts aren't wet until the diaper is about to soak through, which doesn't happen overnight. My baby doesn't get a change in the night even when she wakes up to feed and has not had a single diaper rash in her 4 1/2 months of life.
  • Gotta say that it wouldn't have been a matter of keeping my mouth shut or not. I'd have just picked her up. That's horse s**t.
  • This is so sad I would have left poor LO some people just don't get it!
  • i wouldn't be too harsh on her. after all, you don't know her child as well as she does. when my niece was young she would cry for an hour before she fell asleep as well. She's not hungry, wet, sick, etc. (I was the same way as a baby) She just does. You can judge and say we weren't getting the message, but you don't know her like our family does. Just my two cents.
  • This is so awful! Makes me sick to my stomach. She sounds like one of those women who seem to think that pushing a baby out of you automatically makes you a "good mom". It frustrates me when people think that good parenting is simply feeding, changing, and "do as I tell you to do". 

    Being a good parent is hard work and takes soooooo much more than those simple things. Do your research! Learn your child! Do your homework to understand how the child is developing and what is going on with the baby.

     That poor little baby. I hope her mom snaps out of it before permanent damage is done. Oblivious isn't attractive and does not pave the way for a positive trusting relationship with your child. 

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards