Baby Showers

When to stop expecting a baby shower?

I guess my nesting urge is in full swing. I am stressing about baby showers and when I might be getting one. I feel like we have nothing ready for this little ones arrival. The nursery is not even started, no crib, no clothes, no bottles, nada. I check my registry daily and nothing is showing purchased. Money is kinda tight right this moment, I was able to squeeze the car seat into the budget this month, so we have that. I figured that was needed first. I am undecided on the next important purchase but kinda thinking it should be a crib and mattress.

I am 30 weeks tommorow, and its starting to look like I won't be getting a baby shower. I kinda expected something to happen today, as I could have swore DF said my daughter and I would have plans on the 22nd, but he never elaborated. Which would have made sense since this is the last weekend my mom will be in town until sometime in September, and then she is leaving again, and will be gone most of October, but has assured me she will be home in time for my due date which is November 1st, and then she will stay home for the winter.

So at what point in the pregnancy should one quit wondering about baby showers and just go buy what is needed?

Re: When to stop expecting a baby shower?

  • Since you mentioned that you have a daughter, I think it's safe to assume that there is no shower planned - showers are for first-time mothers.  Hit yard sales, Craigslist, etc - you can get some amazing deals!
  • My daughter will be 7 soon, and from a previous relationship. All my family & friends know that everything I had for her is long gone at this point.

    I have been trying to hit yardsales, craigslist and freecycle. I have also made it known to everyone that I will take anything they want to part with.  So far nothing. My coworkers are the ones that encouraged me to resgister, so I thought that they may have enlisted my mothers help, and were planning something.

  • image Libby283:

    My daughter will be 7 soon, and from a previous relationship. All my family & friends know that everything I had for her is long gone at this point.

    To ROxy's point, though, many people believe showers are for first time moms only. 

    You can't have a child expecting people to buy stuff for you. It's expensive, I get it. But it's your choice to expand your family.  If you seriously cant afford the basics w/o help, then you should have thought more seriously about getting PG again. 

    I don't mean to be harsh, but that's the reality..  People can have as many kids as they want, but it's not their friends and family's responsibliy to stock you up.

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  • I know its my responsibility, and somehow I will get everything the baby needs. Its just a bummer to not get one, expecially since I did not get one with my first child, and I lent all my baby stuff to a friend (crib, mattress, bouncer, pnp, changing pad, exersaucer, swing, baby tub, stroller, car seat, tons of toys, everything), and she gave them away when she was done with them because she did not see another child in my future.

    It would just be nice to have a little celebration and get some nice gifts for my little one.

  • So to answer the question, what would be the last possible week that one should anticipate maybe still getting a baby shower?

     

  • Do people in your circle of friends do "surprise showers"?  They don't around where I live but I know they are very popular in other parts of the country.  Someone may still step up and host a shower for you but in the meantime you need to start getting the big things that are needed for when baby arrives.  A carseat is a good start.  The crib you don't have to have immediately but will by about 2 months unless you use a pack and play.  Get some onesies/sleepers to put on the baby once he/she arrives.  If you plan to bottle feed you might want to get some of those.  A couple packages of diapers and wipes as well as a couple of receiving blankets and burp cloths.

    If no one hosts a shower for you it might be nice to host your own welcome baby party or meet the baby party once your baby is born.  It doesn't have to be elaborate.  People are not obligated to buy your baby gifts but most of them will.  You normally get a lot of diapers and outfits.  If people ask what you can use then let them know (you can let them know you are registered at that time as well). 

    Keep checking Craig's List and Free-cycle and ask friends to spread the word that you are looking for gently used baby items.  I had a friend who was in a similar situtation and she had friends finding all kinds of stuff for her!

  • I think surprise showers are the norm around here. I was thinking if nothing else I may do a welcome the baby party after the birth.

    I check craigslist, a local moms group, and freecycle daily and will continue to do so. I have had the word out amongst family, friends, and co workers for months. So far the only thing I have gotten is a free baby tub, and a free crib, neither were in very good condition. The crib was a dropside and we disposed of it, and I am still going to try cleaning the tub.

    Why did you not use a crib for 2 months? My daughter slept in one right from the start.

  • image Libby283:

    So to answer the question, what would be the last possible week that one should anticipate maybe still getting a baby shower?

     

    I've heard of people throwing showers up until 38 weeks +.  It could still be a possibility, but like the other mentioned I wouldn't expect it since you do have another child.  Even though you didn't have a shower with your daughter, many people probably don't know that.  I would start getting things you need now and if you end up having a surprise shower, you can return what you bought.

  • image Libby283:

    I know its my responsibility, and somehow I will get everything the baby needs. Its just a bummer to not get one, expecially since I did not get one with my first child, and I lent all my baby stuff to a friend (crib, mattress, bouncer, pnp, changing pad, exersaucer, swing, baby tub, stroller, car seat, tons of toys, everything), and she gave them away when she was done with them because she did not see another child in my future.

    It would just be nice to have a little celebration and get some nice gifts for my little one.

    Gee, that really sucks about your friend giving all of your baby items away however it is still YOUR job to provide for your child. Face it, you may not get a shower. A shower is a gift someone has to give you.  In the meantime, you should have been budgeting all along for baby supplies.  Even when people get showers they still don't always get everything anyway.  I would honestly start purchasing the necessities now.

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  • image rhubarb123:

    A carseat is a good start.  The crib you don't have to have immediately but will by about 2 months unless you use a pack and play.  Get some onesies/sleepers to put on the baby once he/she arrives.  If you plan to bottle feed you might want to get some of those.  A couple packages of diapers and wipes as well as a couple of receiving blankets and burp cloths.

    I agree.  You really only NEED a few necessities for when baby arrives.  It's great you got a car seat.  Cribs can be expensive so I might wait on that and buy a Pack N Play.  You can use that for months until you can fit a crib into your budget and it also doubles as a changing area.  Since you'll deliver in fall, I wouldn't worry about a stroller until spring.  Lilke PP said, I'd get several onesies/sleepers for the baby...(Carter's has alot that are cute and cheap!)...diapers and wipes (If you have a Costo the Kirkland brand is good and cheaper)...and a few burp clothes.  You can even get receiving blankets and pacifiers from the hospital.  And if I were you, I'd consider b/fing.  If you're strapped for cash it will save you a ton of money!

  • Check out second hand boutiques that specialize in baby stuff We have a few where Iive and I have found great stuff hardly used for a fraction of the price
  • image DawgGirl:
    Check out second hand boutiques that specialize in baby stuff We have a few where Iive and I have found great stuff hardly used for a fraction of the price

    This and if you have a local Kmart, they still do layaway :) Good luck to you!


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  • image Jessicamz:
    image Libby283:

    So to answer the question, what would be the last possible week that one should anticipate maybe still getting a baby shower?

     

    I've heard of people throwing showers up until 38 weeks +.  It could still be a possibility, but like the other mentioned I wouldn't expect it since you do have another child.  Even though you didn't have a shower with your daughter, many people probably don't know that.  I would start getting things you need now and if you end up having a surprise shower, you can return what you bought.

    Wow! I was thinking 36 weeks. My advice is to buy things when you can, and then take them off of the registry as you get them. Good luck! 

  • I had my baby showers for #1 (I won't be getting one for #2) at 32 and 36 weeks.
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  • I never used the crib until my babies were 2 months old because I had a bassinet that I kept in our room.  Some people use cradles, some use Moses baskets, etc.  Bassinets are only about $50 and you can probably get a used one for $10 or less.  They are nice because the are portable...but a pack and play works just as well (I just didn't like bending after a C-section when we'd use it at Grandma's). 

  • image Libby283:

    Why did you not use a crib for 2 months? My daughter slept in one right from the start.

    A lot of people keep the baby in their room for the first few weeks/months to make middle of the night feedings easier. We moved DS to his crib at one week, but I think they are just trying to give you ideas on how to space out the big purchases. I agree with everyone that there may not be a shower and if it is it might be right before the baby is here so, I think your plan of moving forward like there isn't one is a good plan. You can definitely host a meet the baby party once LO is here to celebrate them. GL!

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  • I guess I personally would go ahead and buy some needed items. There is still achance someone will throw you a shower, but if unless it is a surpsise not too likely at this point if you don't already know about.

    I know it can be frustrating not being able to get the nursery started/finished and having nothing done. But there are not that many necessities that you have to have right away. Yes, yardsales are awesome, that is how I got alot of clothes for my LO and am pretty well stocked in clothes for very little $ at this point. 

    Necessities,... 

    packnplay or crib, with some sheets and a waterproof mattress

    diapers, 

    diapering supplies, like wipes (or you can use cottonballs and water like I'm going to do, much cheaper and easier) , some lotion and soap.

    If you are breastfeeding, then you'll need breast pads, and milk storage bags and a pump, a really good cheap manual one is the Avent which I have heard a ton of good reviews on. 

    If formula feeding, get a couple of bottles and nipples and bottle brush

    a few basic clothes and blankets.

    Car seat

    that's about it I think. Everything else you can kinda pick up over time as you can afford to. 

  • I am having my first child and I am due Oct 19, 2010.  My baby showers are planned for Sept 10th and Sept 18th, so I definitely think you could still get one.  Also, we are visiting MS when the baby comes so she can meet great grandma who is in bad health.  The family there plans on a welcome baby party with extra gifts that I will not yet have received off the registry.  I think you could definitely still be getting a party, but keep an eye on your registry bc that would be a good indicator.
  • Thanks all..I am just going to get the bigger items as I can, and play the rest by ear. I can't figure out if there is a surprise one planned or if its just wishful thinking. Like yesterday my mom walked into my house and saw the travel system in the box, and acted shocked I had bought it already.

    Today at work I mentioned that I got it on sale cheap, and a coworker acted very concerned and asked it I had other bigger ticket items still left on my registry.

    I can't figure them all out. Definately some weirdness going on, either on my end or there end. Smile

  • I assume you're in the northeast?  I will NEVER understand the surprise shower thing they have up there.
  • image RoxyLynn:
    I assume you're in the northeast?  I will NEVER understand the surprise shower thing they have up there.

    I am ! I don't get it either. It is stressful for us moms to be  if you ask me. Just tell us and let us prepare ourselves, are we partying or not...Stick out tongue

     

  • I am in the NE as well and the surprise shower is rampant.. but so is having showers for 2nd, 3rd, etc, babies.. I have been to a few showers for one person before.  Is there anyone in your family, or a close friend that you can ask to throw you a shower? someone that you won't be embarrassed to ask?
  • If you're due in November the shower might not be happening until September.

    I've heard of women not having a shower for baby #2 but normally that is if the babies are close enough in age that the can use most of the stuff from baby #1.

    If you're this concerned about the shower, you should ask someone close to you to at least confirm that it's happening. They don't need to tell you when.Smile

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  • image purplemag:

    image DawgGirl:
    Check out second hand boutiques that specialize in baby stuff We have a few where Iive and I have found great stuff hardly used for a fraction of the price

    This and if you have a local Kmart, they still do layaway :) Good luck to you!

     

    Sears too, I do believe.

  • Definitely keep an eye out at yard sales, Craigslist, Frecycle... Where I live our local newpaper has a thing called "Take my stuff". it's kinda like freecycle. You could check with your paper and see if they have anything like that.

    Another option you could check into is if your area has a pregnancy support center. They can help with the basics and necessities (like diapers, wipes, formula...) And they may be able to help with a crib and such. If you don't have one right in your area, you could always check in nearby cities (if you're near a city).

    Honestly, I don't know that I would trust a used crib. You just never know what it may have been through. But, you can get a new pack and play at WalMart for under $50 and it can act as a crib for you.

  • Hello, I'm due six days after you!!  I would say 3wks before you should just write that off your... But like what was said its always a possibility for Surprises!! I'm planning to throw mine/niece's shower together and searching freecycle. So far so good.

  • Check to see if any baby consignment sales are being held in your area. I know there are several coming up in the next few months where I live. From what I've heard they usually have a lot of inexpensive barely used baby items. I've found ads for them on craigslist and in newspapers, they are usually called something like "Mommy's Market" or "the Motherload Sales". It might even be worth driving a little ways because you can probably get nearly everything you need there. Hope that helps!
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