2nd Trimester

Is anyone else scared?

DH and I are expecting our first.... and while I'm over the moon, I'm terrified. Between the "exit procedure" (yes that is what I call it) and then them handing the baby to you saying "have a lovely life"... its a little, omg!

Between the war stories that everyone shared when we first found out, to the L&D tour (where don't worry everyone was laboring), to the actual "raising" the kid and trying to not F' it up.....

Everyone write about what they're stressed about, or asks questions regarding what equipment to buy... but is anyone nervous? Excited? Doesn't know what to think? Emotions changing daily?

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Re: Is anyone else scared?

  • I spent weeks 10-13 in full panic, sobbing, can't breathe, OMG what have we done mode.

    I totally did not expect this from myself considering we tried for over two years and had to use an RE to get pregnant. I think everyone goes through it to some degree during the pregnancy. It's a huge life change even if you've planned for it.

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  • I admit to having some serious concerns over life once baby arrives.

    For starters, we've gotten very used to being a family of 3 (DD is almost 6). I wonder how hard it is going to be to adjust to having another family member.

    Secondly, DH's sister is coming to nanny for us for 6 months. I am concerned about boundaries and such. When we visit her (she lives in another country) she never follows our requests in regards to DD. But then again, I think that is because she's all about spoiling DD since she only sees her 2 weeks out of every 18 months. I am just worried about the dynamics of another person--and an adult at that--living with us. 

    I am hanging on to faith that it will all work out, though.

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  • I'm happy but I can't shake the feeling that it's not real.  I'm 26w4d and I've seen my LO on the screen and I feel him move everyday.  But YES i'm terrified.  I'm scared of L&D more so that I won't be able to do it.  Second I came into this with Type II Diabetics and I have a very strict diet to follow and I'm scared I'll screw that up too.  My emotions change everyday but mostly I'm terrified of losing him. I can't get those words that my comforting doctor told me..."you can go through the whole 9months but because your diabetic if you don't take care of yourself you could have a stillborn" so yes i'm freaking terrified out of my mind!
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  • Oh yea, I'm scared sh!tless and spent the whole first week after I found out I was pregnant, crying, with insomnia, and I still wonder at times what the hell I'm going to do with a baby...have I mentioned this was a planned pregnancy...?  I still break down and cry my eyes out when I start to think about the responsibility that I'm about to face and wonder incessantly why I'm being a punk.  But, we'll be fine...billions of women, in much worse situations than us, have given birth and raised amazing adults...at least that's something to think about...
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  • I have been scared since the day I found out I was pregnant. I'm sure I'll still be scared to death when our LO goes off to school, and when he starts to drive, and when he goes to college. Motherhood is freakin' scary!

    Right now I'm freaking out about having two semesters left of Nursing school, and having a newborn with a husband working out of town, and only being home on the weekends. I'm due 12/31 and turn around and go back to school Jan 14, come hell or high water, I hope to graduate on May 6.

    So I guess the birth part isn't freaking me out, it's more of the anxiety of bringing baby home, you know the "have a nice life" part lol.

    My Mom tells me that being scared means that you're going to be a good Mom.

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  • DH asked me the other day if I'm worried about raising the kid and doing it right, etc.  I told him. NOPE!  Which I'm not. 

    I'm worried about the cost of diapers and day care and how can day care costs so much!

  • I had a very brief episode of being scared out of my wits but this is something my husband and I REALLY wanted.

    When I found out I was pregnant I cried a lot out of pure surprise. I honestly couldn't believe it and I don't think reality has fully set in even now.

    I can honestly say I am no longer scared. I am more excited than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life.

    My only changing emotion is growing stronger in love with my husband and our baby daily. It's beginning to really amaze me. I'm such a sap.

    I'm just going to go with the flow and trust that God will guide us where we need to go and we'll do a good job as parents.


  • image heyitsme:

    I admit to having some serious concerns over life once baby arrives.

    For starters, we've gotten very used to being a family of 3 (DD is almost 6). I wonder how hard it is going to be to adjust to having another family member.

    Secondly, DH's sister is coming to nanny for us for 6 months. I am concerned about boundaries and such. When we visit her (she lives in another country) she never follows our requests in regards to DD. But then again, I think that is because she's all about spoiling DD since she only sees her 2 weeks out of every 18 months. I am just worried about the dynamics of another person--and an adult at that--living with us. 

    I am hanging on to faith that it will all work out, though.

    Once she sees the results of that spoiling and has to actually live with the result I'm sure she'll see the wisdom in your rules.

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  • Well I'm currently freaking out about feeding the baby real food.  I'm not a horrible cook but I'm not the best either.  I just totally found out I've been making scrambled eggs wrong... yeah I'm dumb... I have NEVER added milk.  Please pray for my child when he gets off the breast milk.  I've got some time to get better <crossing fingers I get better>   If my cooking doesn't kill him I think I'll be a good parent LOL
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    Married 9/26/09 BFP #1 12/09 Blighted Ovum 12/23/09 D&C 1/10 BFP#2 5/1/10 DS born 12/18/10 38wks 10 lbs 1 oz BFP #3 6/25/12 EDD 3/5/13 RCS DS2 born 2-22-13 38wks 8 lbs 4 oz

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  • image Hyfagal:

    I spent weeks 10-13 in full panic, sobbing, can't breathe, OMG what have we done mode.

    I totally did not expect this from myself considering we tried for over two years and had to use an RE to get pregnant. I think everyone goes through it to some degree during the pregnancy. It's a huge life change even if you've planned for it.

    Yep, so true.  I cried for the first few weeks when I got pregnant this time.  DD is pretty high needs, so I was terrified to add another to the mix.  But you just have to take it one day at a time, and not think about what's coming.  (At least that's what helps me).  I just try to enjoy today.

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  • image onlymeggan:
    Well I'm currently freaking out about feeding the baby real food.  I'm not a horrible cook but I'm not the best either.  I just totally found out I've been making scrambled eggs wrong... yeah I'm dumb... I have NEVER added milk.  Please pray for my child when he gets off the breast milk.  I've got some time to get better <crossing fingers I get better>   If my cooking doesn't kill him I think I'll be a good parent LOL

    Haha... there's no wrong way to make scrambled eggs!  I never add milk either, and DD is surviving. ;)

    I'm a horrible cook too, and it's honestly not too hard to feed DD.  She'll pretty much eat anything!

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  • I can definitely understand why you would be scared but being that 've been through it all before I can tell you that it is scary, nerve racking, life changing but at the same time the best time of your life! Having our little boy handed over to us and then nurses saying goodbye, I looked at DH and couldn't believe they were letting US take him home! Once we were home though it was like it just all came to us and we were fine.

    Try to enjoy it, try not to over analyze things and take it as it comes, that's really the best thing you can do. 

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  • I've just spent the past hour or so trying to research childcare options in nyc and it drove me to tears.  I'm scared out of my freakin' mind about something different every single day.  One day it will be breastfeeding, the next delivery, today is apparently the high cost of childcare.  We're f*cked.
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  • Totally freaked out... yes we tried for 2yrs to get preg and I cried over and over throughout those years bc we weren't pregnant and now I'm like WTH did we do?!!?!?!? I mean we have been used to being just us married for over 4yrs and just being us..being able to do whatever whenever...whereever! haha yea you know cooking dinner and deciding the kitchen counter would be a good place to well yea.. and now a baby?! holy crap! And then I think of omg they grow up and then I have a teenager?! yea totally freaked out!
  • I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified but I'm trying to keep it bottled up. My biggest stress right now is trying to finish our house remodel by February. This baby was a bit of a surprise and caught us right in the middle of a complete home re-model. Now we're in a rush to have EVERYTHING finished by February. I hope we can do it, keep your fingers crossed!

     Another fear is labour (who isn't scared of that?!). I want to have a natural birth so I keep telling myself "I CAN DO IT!" My husband and I have been reading several books and discussing it with my mother who had 3 natural births and every day I get a little more confident.

    It's completely normal for all of us to be a little scared from time to time, but it's all going to be so worth it!

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  • I'm scare sh!tless and I already have one. Maybe that's why...

    j/k. you'll be fine.  Having a baby (both the actual procedure of and the care for) is HARD and it changes everything, but it's totally worth it and  you can do it!

    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
  • I have a 9 month old, and I am still learning how to be a parent.  IMO, the first task of parenting is admitting you have no idea what you are doing but are willing to give everything to make it work.
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  • I think if you aren't a little scared with the first, you might be a little crazy.  Of course, there are those individuals that have everything together, but they are few and far between.  I think it is perfectly natural to be scared.  I am and I am on my third.  Different things to scare me, but still a little scared none the less.
  • I'm scared to make a decsion about work... I love my job and I want to be a SAHM at the same time. I know its impossible to do both (unless hell freezes over and they let me be part time). I just really can't decide what to do and I agonize about it ALL THE TIME! 
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  • This is my 2nd, so I don't have the same "I don't know what to expect" fears, but I am nervous about having 2 babies under the age of 2!  I think I can handle it, but I worry about never having any time to myself and losing my identity as a person.  As for labor and delivery, for some reason I never was afraid of it, which is strange because I don't take pain too well.  The way I figure it, it'll be extreme pain for several hours, but it's not like the kind of pain that leads to death (like a gunshot or something).  And this kind of pain ends with a cute little baby.  Plus, I figure that if billions of women have experienced this pain and STILL decided to have additional kids, how bad can it be?  With DS1, I ended up in a c section when I got to 6 cm, so I never got to feel really horrible labor or pushing.
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  • This is my first and I am terrified, I am scared something will happen to the baby and it will be out of my hands.  My brother and SIL lost their baby at 81/2 months, the same day I got my BFP...I feel like it's not fair that I am pregnant and something bad will happen.

    I am scared I will be a terrible mom, and that I will choose all the wrong things....and then I take a deep breath and realize that I can only do what I can do now, and what's best for the baby and myself.

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  • My DH and I were trying for a while and ended up doing IVF, so it was something we definitely thought we were prepared for, but I am scared!

    I'm scared that I'm going from having no kids to having 2. I'm scared that with twins there is bound to be someone always crying, at least in the first few weeks.  

    And I'm scared that I will be doing this with no help from family, and very few friends. We just moved out to southern AZ and our family and friends are mostly in CT, NY, and ND. (We're a military family so we don't always get to choose where we live).

     

  • I felt the same way you did when I was pregnant withmy first.  I was terrified.  Although at the end you don't care what it takes you just want that baby out of you!  This time I am actually looking foward to the delivery, both of the deliveries with my girls were very positive experiences. 
  • I don't know anyone who hasn't been scared of labor at one point in time. The fear of the unknown is really powerful. 

     

    That said, my labor with K was worse than I imagined. But, I know now it's because of her position, and is not the norm.  

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  • I think I'm a lot more scared of actually raising LO than I am of the delivery. When I see my friends with happy, polite, well-behaved children, all I can think is "can I be a good parent like so-and-so? I want my children to be respectful and well-behaved, but at the same time I want them to know how much DH and I love them and want them to be able to express themselves." Then I see the horribly misbehaved, rude little brats out in public and I have nightmares that my child will be out of control and I'll be "that parent" who lets him/her get away with murder. I know DH and I can only do our best, but it's still scary to think about how much work we have ahead of us!
  • Everyone *loves* to share horror stories. It's *so* nice isn't it. Confused

    I spent the first 20 weeks nervous until the anatomy scan came back okay. Now I can REALLY enjoy everything. I'm not so scared of the delivery, but yes, I am scared of the parenting. I'm scared of failing, of not doing something right, of raising a child who likes to set animals on fire, that stuff. I hope it's normal, because I definitely worry.

    I also worry about how it's going to change our marriage, but we are talking a lot about our expectations of what life will be like after baby and I think that will really help keep us on track. 

    We are very excited and this baby was planned and wanted badly, but it's a HUGE thing that will change you, your relationships, your finances, your lives. It's scary. I can't keep anything alive. I kill every plant and flower I plant. It's a miracle the dog has made it 5 years with me. 

  • When I first got pregnant with my son I felt like that. My husband and I had just gotten married (we got pregnant on our honeymoon) and we had never really taken any vacations or done anything just the two of us besides our honeymoon (my parents are off the boat Sicilian and VERY traditional...none of that in our house! Mind you we were together for 7 years when we got married!). Anyway, DH wanted to take a few trips and do a few things before we got pregnant. However, he had cancer when he was little and the doctor's had told him that he probably couldn't have any children (he also went to a doctor when we first started dating to get his sperm count tested and it came back low...guess they were wrong!). Anyway, with all that information, I didn't want to take any preventatives after we got married.

    9 months and 2 weeks after our wedding came Matthew!! (Thank God he wasn't early!!)

    Of course we were over the moon because we didn't know if we'd ever be able to have children, let alone, first try and on our honeymoon!! But, we were very scared. Could we afford a baby already? Were we ready to give up our youth? We can't vacation alone?! Etc, etc. I think it's 100% completely normal! I'd cry to my mom and DH all the time because I wasn't sure if we made the right choice because I wasn't sure we could afford a baby, but we make it through!! Everything happens for a reason and I now cannot remember life before him!! Just try not to beat yourself up for feeling like that because it's completely normal to have those fears, especially if the baby wasn't particularly planned!

    With this pregnancy we weren't 'trying' but again, we weren't preventing because I had the same fear I had the first time. I kept thinking that I got pregnant first shot with DS as a fluke and the next time was going to take a long time. Well, nope! I had taken an OPK just to make sure I was O'ing (because we wanted to start trying 2 months later) and I got pregnant the month I took the OPK. I can tell you that my emotions were different this time, but the fear of can we afford another baby, and did i make the right decision did come back. Hoping it's normal this time around as well!!

    Good luck!

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  • I'm not scared at all which, in itself, worries me :P

    I'm afraid that I'll wake up one day and just start freaking out x1000. Maybe it's because I'm trying to be very cautious about getting too attached to the thought of having my LO, in case something happens? Or it could just be that I'm not a very excitable person and when life has handed me difficult situations in the past, I just worked my way through them. I have confidence that everything will turn out the best that we can make it.

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  • I think being worried is the natural state of motherhood, get used to it. I'm not normally a person that worries but I am always thinking about the "right" thing for DS. I'm not freaking out or anything, there are always just little worries in the back of my mind, and you have to get used to it.

    Unfortunately, this time I am terrified of L&D. The first time I didn't know what I was getting into and I figured it was inevitable, so why worry about it. This time I know what I'm getting into and I can't stop thinking about it. 

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