LGBT Parenting

TTC and frustrated

Hi all,

I am new to The Bump. I joined because I am so frustrated with TTC and would love to hear from other women who are also TTC or have had successful IUI or IVF cycles.

I found out this morning that I am not pregnant on our 5th try (IUI with Clomid and trigger). We're trying injectibles this time. My docs are great, but this is one situation where I wish everyone at the fertility center didn't know my name!! I don't even have to check in any more, they know me when I walk through the door.

Anyone have tips for TTC? I know it's different for everyone, but I feel like my emotions are on a roller-coaster.

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Re: TTC and frustrated

  • Welcome! I'm sorry your TTC journey has been so rough. You're right - TTC is different for every one but whether the journey is long or short we all share the same emotions of hoping and wishing, let down and excitement.  Hope you hang around!

  • Welcome!

    I am sorry to hear about your BFN. It is a tough process and can really throw you for  a loop. The meds don't help with all those emotions either!

    I hope the new protocol works for you. Good luck!

  • My tips include good wine and chocolate ice cream.

    Okay, really though, the thing that helps me the most (we've been TTC for over a year w/o sucess) is keeping a really strong hold on perspective.  Its okay to be pissed and wallow for a while, and it really does suck and is super unfair, but the bottom line is that there are much worse things in this world. Despite this one struggle, i have a lot to be happy about in life, so it would be a huge shame to let one thing overshadow the rest of what I've got going.  chin up and onto the next...we'll all get there eventually.

     best of luck!

  • Welcome to the board! I think everyone struggles with TTC in their own way. It took my wife 6 tries to get pregnant, and all were medicated IUIs. We were preparing to move to injectables on the next cycle. It was tough, but we had so many other things that were good in our life and we focused on those. Try to remember, too, that it takes 6 tries on average to get pregnant through IUI. Good luck to you! I hope you stick around and join in here.
  • You might try lurking on Trouble TTC as well. 
    IF History in Bio

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  • Thanks to everyone for the support. I am doing my best to stay positive, and I know it will happen at some point! A good friend tried for over 3 years before IVF finally worked for her, so I really can't complain after just one year.

    I have been enjoying a bit of fudge tracks ice cream--definitely one of my weaknesses!!!!

    CTbride--I wish you the best of luck!

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  • Yum. fudge tracks...oh god, why did you mention that delicious flavor?  Now look what you did!  I was just thinking: gotta stop for more ice cream later tonight!

    Bestest of luck TTC.  My journey has been quite a bit different as we went with a known donor and fresh sperm both times.  First time it seriously took 10 cycles and everyone I ever knew had to get pregnant first!  I miscarried last Aug-right around now and we tried again a few months later.  We switched donors (to someone much younger) and it worked on the 3rd try.  I tried clomid but it made me crazy and didn't even work for either cycle that finally took. 

    I feel so grateful to be pregnant and totally remember how sad I would get while TTC.  I couldn't even visit these boards at all or even look at anything pregnancy related on the internet because of all the pictures of huge bellied, smiling, smug women...and whatever you do, DO NOT GO TO WHOLE FOODS if you are TTC.  There are way too many jolly pregnant women dripping with children!!

    If you are interested in trying the way I did it I'd be more than happy to share more privately...


  • I'm sorry about your negative today. 

    Even though I'm on the other side now, I remember that frustration like it was yesterday.  There are so many bits of advice/assvice out there that you can't do them all or you'll lose your mind, but here are the things that worked for me:

    • Perserverance
    • Support from other who have been there
    • Adding Gonal F (with lots of monitoring and trigger)
    • Acupuncture
    • A new batch of sperm with better numbers (same donor, though)

    Good luck in your journey, and may you find success soon.

  • We did medicated IUIs as well, I hated the clomid, I don't think I have ever been so crazy as the clomid days.  It eventually worked, but I was at it for a year.  I tried at home, a urologist and then the reproductive clinic.  It finally worked when I was on vacation while on the clomid and returning the day before we did the insemination.  I think I was so busy being on vacation I didn't get a chance to stress out about not getting pregnant.  The only difference I can come up with for that month versus all the other attempts was my stress level.  We also switched donors after several attempts at my doctors suggestion, the donor I got pregnant with was on try number two. I hope it works for you soon : )
  • My best tip is to make a concerted effort not to put your life on hold while TTC. It's so tempting to think about "but if we're pregnant then" when making plans (or NOT making plans as the case may be), but we passed up so many opportunities during our long (2 year) TTC time, that on top of each BFN, I also had the disappointment and frustration of all the sacrifices made needlessly. Icing on the cake, so to speak.

    Sorry to hear things are rough for you right now. I hope your ticket out comes sooner rather than later.

    Kendyl and Mary - June 10, 2006


  • I am sorry it is so rough.

    It took us 9 tries (last 2 with injectibles) that were spread out over 19m. I echo Kendyll in not putting off life in hopes of being pregnant. We also missed milestones b/c we didn't want to plan "just in case." And then when we missed whatever it was, we were not only sad/mad we weren't pregnant, but that we were missing the event.

    Also, don't underestimate  the power of taking off a month(s) to regroup mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually. TTC is very energy depleting and we found that we ocassonally needed to stop for a month or more. While it was hard to know it wouldn't happen that month, it also came with with a forgotten freedom of not living our lives in 2 week increments.

    hang in there

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