Her - Oh, are you eating your lunch now?
Me - uh huh
Her - Welp, I don't want to bother you then ... (long pause while just standing there) ... What kind of noodles are those? They're crazy looking!
Me - long fusilli
Her - Welp, that looks good. Hey - are you still taking your yoga class at the Mill Centre? I'm thinking about going but I wasn't sure. I just have so much to do since I'm moving on Friday. Did I tell you I talked to my realtor? Blah, blah, blah, blah ....
Me - Welp, GTFO (psych, I wish!)
I am friends with President Obama. I asked him to dress up in an Easter Bunny costume and show up at my parents' house with a giant check for $1 million a la Ed McMahon on Easter Weekend. We were going to make them think that they had won Publishers Clearinghouse sweepstakes LOL. As soon as they answered the door, we had our friend stage a robbery - they made it look like everyone in the Publisher's Clearninghouse van was violently murdered. They threw the "bodies" out of the van onto the street and peeled out. We had a fake ambulance and police show up. Then my parents' neighbors came by with a basket of kittens - they were SO cute! Just when my parents were so freaked out by seeing kittens after a murder/robbery AND having won $1 million, we had Pres. Obama take off the Easter Bunny head and say "Surprise!! You're going to be grandparents!" My parents will never forget that moment. - Pillowass