3rd Trimester

Limit who visits us in the hospital.

I was wondering how the best way to break it to family who I don't want to visit my son, husband & I at the hospital. My mother & stepfather are always off & on with him moving out every couple weeks for a little while then moving back in. They keep getting into fights that get worse & worse & NOBODY in my family supports their relationship. I don't know if they will be together when I have my son, but how do I tell her without starting a huge fight that I do not want him there.? I also have a 21 month old son & she calls her husband "Grampy" when my son is over there. I've told her once I do not want him called grampy & she listened for a little bit, but then started again. I just have so many reasons for all of this & I feel strongly about him not being a big part of my sons lives. How do I break this all to her without her being overly mad at me.?

Re: Limit who visits us in the hospital.

  • Honestly, there may be no way around her getting upset.  However if you are doing what is right for your children then you can take comfort in knowing you are doing the right thing.  I just think instead of trying to figure out a way for her not be be upset with you, you should focus on the fact that she will be upset and that is ok.  You can't control her emotions and it isn't the end of the world is she gets upset.  As long as you have accepted that fact, the easier it will be on you. 
  • You can't control her emotions. She's going to be mad over being told someone important to her is not allowed around your kids but as their mother it's your decision and responsibility to keep them safe. If she's mad, that's her problem.
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  • Honestly I would wait and see what happens between them.  Maybe the situation will sort itself out for you and then you won't have to worry about it. 

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  • There is not a way to say "I don't want him there" without your Mom getting mad. Sorry.
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  • DO whatever you are comfortable with.  NO matter what sounds like someone will be angry/mad but since you are the one having the baby, do what makes you happy!!!

     

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  • You can always blame it on the hospital, say that they are limiting visiting after birth so you will just see everyone at home after you get out.

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  • The hospital I am delivering at requires the moms to make a list of approved visitors. If you're not on the list, you don't get in! The nurses take care of breaking the news to the violators, "Sorry, mom is resting. We'll let her know you stopped by!"

    You could just blame it on the hospital, "They are limiting visitors as to not expose mom and baby to too many germs too soon" or similar whatever. Takes the pressure off you!

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