New to The Bump

New to the Bump & ? on how "long" to be married

Hey ladies!

I have a question that really doesn't have a "right" answer, but I want to hear some opinions. My husband and I got married last October and we are currently just starting TTC. I have had mixed emotions coming from best friends who have been married about as long as us, but say we should be married longer. The difference I see is that specific couple dated 1 1/2 years before they got married and we dated 6 years before...

We are in a really good spot right now and have a desire to be younger parents, I'm 24 and he's 25...and we want a few years in between our kids, and to be done having babies by 30.

 

Thoughts? I appreciate anything you all have to say, whether it's positive or negative.

Re: New to the Bump & ? on how "long" to be married

  • I think 6 years together is long enough to know that you are reasy to start a family together. Just remember...lots of things change once you add a baby into the family. As long as you are both ready for the responsibilities of being parents then I say go for it! GL
  • Well, you friends would hate me then! I've been with my husband for over a year, but we've only been married close to five months. (: We are TTC and have been for three months now. But I'm 25 and he's 32. So - time isn't really on his side. He's been ready for a family for a while. (I'm his second wife).

     I don't think there is a specific "time" of how long a couple should be together or married... I think what's important is that you are both on board and that you can support a baby financially. That's what is most important I think!

  • I don't think it's too soon! If you guys are both into it and ready, then go for it.

    DH and I started trying shortly after we got married in 2008, and we're just now pregnant. So sometimes it takes a while and getting a head start isn't a bad idea at all! :)


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  • I had my first at 24 and was married for 1 1/2 years. I'm 27 on my 3rd and people can think I'm crazy, but I'm not having kids after 30. If you want to be done at thirty with a couple years in between, start now! You also have no idea how long it could take for you to get pregnant.
  • Thoughts? Quit telling your friends you're TTC.

    Only you can know if you're ready for kids, and if you are, ignore the haters.

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  • My husband and I have been together almost 9 years and married a little over 3 years.  We are just now thinking of TTCing, so I think you all are making the right decision.  I agree with another person when she said to stop telling them you are TTCing.  I see now that I cannot tell my family.  I guess they think I should wait until I'm 40 before trying.

    People can be crazy or even jealous, so look over them.  If you and your husband are ready, do it!  Have fun and enjoy having sex.  And when you do get pregnant, everything will be taken care of.

  • If you feel ready, then you are ready.  Don't worry about what anyone else says.  They don't know your relationship

    TTC since 2010

    lots of IUIs and 1 IVF all BFNs

    FET currently on hold

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  • your friends need to realize that everyone is different and ready for different things at different times! my brother and SIL were married 4 years before they had a baby and they were together for 7.....

    me on the other hand, we were married about 7 months and decided we should start trying.....finally after over a year of TTC we are expecting!

    Don't let people get you down! if you are ready for babies - they go for it!

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  • I agree with you that it's a different situation between you and your friends, since you and your DH have been together six years (and your friends 1 1/2 years).  I think as long as your relationship is in a good place and you guys feel ready, now's a good time, especially since you desire to be younger parents. 

    I'm in a similar situation with you.  I've been married a little over a year and have been with DH for over 6 years.  We are similar in age to you, but we are waiting another couple of years so we can 'live it up' and travel and do things that won't come as easy once we have a baby.  We are enjoying having money and not feeling bad about spending it on ourselves.  We know this time is limited and will come to a screeching halt once we have children.  I guess this would be the only thing I might suggest you consider. 

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  • I think if you and your husband know its right for you, then do whats right for you, other couples may just not be ready yet. My husband and I have been together 7 years, and tomorrow married 1 year, we are just starting TTC as well. So, IMO, only you and your husband know when its is right for you.Smile It sounds like you two have it all figured out!

     

  • Me and DH are in the same boat. We have only been married a month and a half. But have been together for 6 years this september. We are both ready for kids. So we are TTC. No matter what anyone thinks! We know we are ready!
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  • Hi!

    I don't think anyone has the right to tell you how long you should be married for before you have a child! It is up to you and your husband to make that decision and if it is right for you immediately then go for it, or if you want to wait then do that. 

    I have friends saying the opposite! Thay are just married and have children or are pregnant and they are all saying that my husband and I should hurry up, because we have been married just over a year and want to wait until the new year. 

    I think it's a decision only you and your husband can make. 

    No one knows the inner workings of your life together better than you. I keep telling my friends that we will do what we want, when we are comfortable.

    There is never a right or wrong answer.

     Goodluck!

  • This question really depends on the individual person and your situation. Are you finacially ready? Are you emotionally ready? Is there anything else you want to do/accomplish before baby? Do you own your own home? etc.

     DH and I have been together for four years, married for two. We are now just starting ttc. I am 24 and dh is 29. We are both educated, have good jobs and own our own home. Not everyone that has been together this long or at this age is in the same boat.

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