My boyfriend and I were talking marriage for awhile before we found out I was pregnant. This was a "surprise" pregnancy. I never thought it'd be a big deal to me if we had a baby while not yet married, but now that I am in this situation, it is! He wants to wait until next year to get married, that way we don't rush the wedding planning and can have "the wedding we want."
But, I fully believe the wedding we "want" can be planned quickly. We want to get married at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. We don't want a huge wedding, just family and close friends.
Here are my reasons for wanting to get married now, and not later:
((DISCLAIMER: My boyfriend is WONDERFUL and treats me great, I have nothing to complain about when it comes to him or our relationship. He's the greatest man I have ever met! We are just simply disagreeing about when to get married now that I'm pregnant)).
1 -I want to get married while I still have my pre-baby body and will feel beautiful in my wedding dress. This is my first pregnancy, so I don't know how much baby weight I will gain or how long it will take for me to lose... I want to look my best in our wedding photos - I really don't want to look back and see myself looking chubby or dead tired. Besides the act of acutally getting married, my dress is a close second when it comes to what is most important to me.
2 - I don't want to NOT be married when the baby is born. I know that it's not uncommon nowadays to be unwed and give birth, but if we were already planning on getting married before I got pregnant, then why wait? I want to set a good example for our child, and being married when he or she is born is very important to me...
3 - This may sound a little selfish, but I would like our wedding to be OUR day, about him and me. The rest of our lives will revolve around this baby and our other future children. I want people to be gawking at him and me, not our new baby. It's the one day of our lives that is about us, and I want it to be centered around just the two of us... I don't want anything else of my mind except for him... But, if I'm a mom, I know myself and that simply won't be possible... If the baby is already here, the wedding will turn into a "family" thing, not just a day about me and him..
4 - I feel it will be VERY hard to plan a wedding with a newborn. I just don't think I'll be up to it, and then the wedding will keep getting pushed back...
My bf is two hours taking a training class for a week for his job, and we talked about how I feel about everything tonight. We have had this conversation before, but my feelings are getting stronger and stronger about getting married before the baby is born. He said that "we can't compromise on this, so one of us is going to have to give in," and that it would be him that will "give in."
Okay, so great, right?...
Not so much. Now I feel like I am "forcing" him in a way, even though he says I'm not. It's like I just can't be satisfied right now, and I don't know why.
Am I wrong for NOT wanting to wait? Have any of you been through the same thing, and if so, what did you do (and do you feel that you did the right thing)?
Am I being completely irrational? I'm just so upset about this.
Should we go ahead and start planning or should I just drop it and just wait until next year?
I just really need advice on what to do and how to handle this whole thing...