Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

First two days back at work...

Well, I guess I can officially say I SURVIVED my first two days back to work...physically, not mentally or emotionally...! I went back to work on Saturday and everyone basically avoided everything and acted like nothing happened. HELLO!!!!! I don't have a huge belly anymore and obviously no baby, I can't even get an "I'm sorry for your loss?" Nope. Not from anyone at my job. But, one guy didn't even know I had my baby already. Are you kidding? I don't look any different???? I have lost 25 lbs. since I had Audrina. What the heck, how did you not know I was no longer pregnant??? And then last night (my second shift of being back) I got asked, "How is your baby!!??!!". Crying Ick! I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to react. I literally wanted to fall to the ground and cry and just look up at him and be like "are you kidding me???". But, I didn't get into any conversation about it, I just simply said she didn't make it and RAN!

I don't know what was worse, everyone avoiding it or someone asking me how Audrina was...

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I am not going back to work til Thursday, so hopefully I will have a little more time to deal with this...

Re: First two days back at work...

  • Vert away!

    I am so so sorry you had to answer that question ((hugs)).It feels like someone kicks you in the gut when they do :( and It feel like you're in a fish bowl. Embarrassed People don't know what in the world to say to you or how to react and it does get frusterating no matter how the loss is approached.

    Here's hoping your next day back is MUCH better than this was.

    Hi, I'm Amanda :)

    Remembering Evelyn and raising Bailey
    Evelyn Born at 24wks 6days on May 22, 2010 due to pre-e Passed away May 25, 2010

    BFP# 2 Delivered 6wks early due to preeclampsia
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

  • Sending (((((((Big hugs))))))) your way.

    BabyFetus Ticker
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

  • I am so sorry.  I think people don't know what to say.  They are afraid if they bring it up, you will completely lose it (which you might, but what they don't realize is that it's ok if you grieve).  At least you made it through your first couple days and you have a little break before going back.  Vent away here!!!                                                                               
    *SAIF* always welcome
    TTC since October 2007
    Dx with Unexplained IF
    IUI #1-3 w/clomid: Jan-March 2010...BFN
    IUI #4 w/injectables: April 2010...BFP
    1st u/s: 5/17-one little perfect hb@7w2d, 2nd u/s: 6/5-no hb@10w;
    missed miscarriage: 6/10 d&c
    IUI #5-7 w/injectables: Sept 2010-Jan 2011...BFFN
    IVF #1: Feb/March 2011...pretty please let this work!!!!

    Expecting twin boys!!!!! Pregnancy Ticker
  • I am so sorry.  I dont go back for another week, and I am trying to prepare myself for everyone's stupidity.  This weekend I went to a Pool Party to finally get out of the house.  DH decided to stay home since he didn't want to explain to those who didn't know we delivered early and our baby died.  Of course the first thing was another Mom asking me why I don't look very pregnant anymore.  She was very compassionate though, we sat and chatted and I was ok...until the next Mom an hour later told me how great I looked and how thin I got.  She thought I had delivered at EDD and had a healthy baby.  I had to correct her, and of course she felt horrible.  In total it was 4 stories I had to tell at a pool party.  My DH was right, of course they are going to ask.  I told DH that I have to prepare myself to be asked by random person everyday, and no matter how much I loathe it, it is my new reality.

     Good luck sweetie.  Know that there will be times that you want people to ask, and others where you won't want to explain anything.  The feelings we have right now are just hard, and there really are so many clueless people out there that we are doomed to encounter. 

     Stay strong!!

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