So, pretty much everyone in DH's immediate family smokes (MIL, FIL, BILx2, and SIL). I personally think that smoking is the most horrible, disgusting habit and HATE to be around it, but I try not to judge people who do smoke because I understand that once you get hooked it is hard to stop. We don't see his family all that often because they live out of state, but it's only about an hour away and I feel like once LO arrives they will want to get together more often. Now, I know I can't ask them to not smoke when we are at their house (even if they only smoke outside), but I don't know how to go about addressing this with them. (Sorry in advance if this offends anyone here, this is not my intention)....But I honestly do not want ANYONE - - family or not - - near my baby if they have smoked recently. Smoke seeps into clothing, breath and even skin and I don't want it anywhere near her (especially since I don't smoke / am providing her a smoke-free environment to live in). I ideally would love for them all to quit (I realize that isn't going to happen), but in the very least I want them to wear different clothes when the smoke, or change after wards, teeth brushed/mouth washed, hands washed....a shower would be even better, before they come near my baby. MIL has really long, curly hair and is always putting our nephew (4 months old) up on her shoulder and it makes me shudder to think how he is just breathing in chemicals from her hair. Also, our nephew's parents smoke, and the only rule they have for other people is they can't smoke next to the baby - so this family is not used to any real rules regarding their smoking.
Not until I got pregnant did I even realize just how much his family smokes....and since there are so many of them, there is ALWAYS someone who is lighting up. When it is nice out up there, we usually hang out outside and they don't always pay attention to how close they are to me (the pregnant girl) and I have to walk away.
I am soooo nervous to even bring this up with DH because I realize it probably sounds crazy, and because this is his family, so I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling because I really love them all, I just hate what they do. I feel SO horrible to think that my innocent daughter could possibly be exposed to those nasty chemicals (even if it's 3rd-hand, passive smoke). UGH I don't know what to do!