2nd Trimester

I'm having a hard time NOT throat punching DH this morning

I know it's the hormones because it's stupid stuff I'm ticked about. I'm trying to hold my tongue but it's just making me madder!!

 

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Re: I'm having a hard time NOT throat punching DH this morning

  • RN536RN536
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
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    :)

    I have had those days, it shall past, try to think of the good stuff!

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  • I felt like that a lot the past few days. Then DH made it worse by pulling out my massage table and giving me a surprise 1hr massage yesterday to ease my headache. It made me mad to be mad at him.
  • Oh, believe me, I'm right there with you... But it's not me, he is just being rediculous about stupid stuff and it gets me all worked up! I wish he would see that he is stressing me out and that's not good for the baby. ERRRR ..........MEN!

    But I def see where your coming from!

  • I feel like this most days lately.  Last night we got in a fight about him not paying enough attention to my needs.  I think Im just more sensitive then ever before but Im hoping once the baby arrives all of those feelings will go away too.
  • I feel you. I don't know if it's the hormones or that he's being an insensitive jerk. I think both.
  • Girl I hear you! My DH was actually complaining because HE didn't get a good night sleep because of me and my pregnancy pillow! I was like are you kidding me?? Do you think I get a good night sleep? NO! I wanted to throw everything within reach at him. Of course I get mad, yell, and then I'm being the bad guy that overreacts to everything.

    I think it's hormones as well as they just don't get it! They are so ignorant sometimes it kills me. Oh and my guy is just insensitve.......

    Grrrr... I'm glad it's not just me!

     

  • OMG this post could not have come at a more perfect time. I had one of those evenings with DH myself.  He has been working late every night for the last week and last weekend we went to my parents house so he could work on his car (adding racing stuff, not just general getting it working stuff) and I was very supportive the whole time and never complained. So I had our 9 month old every night after work until she went to bed and all weekend and last night he comes home and sits on the computer and is on the phone doing stuff that is totally not priority while I continue to take care of our baby girl by myself. He knew I wasn't feeling well and was dead tired but it didn't register to him that maybe he could help. Then when I'm not chipper and friendly he gets all mad and tells me that I should SPEAK and he can't be expected to read all my little 'moods' (he says with an insulting gesture).  So I'm the bad guy because I didn't nag him and ask him to feed the baby, change the baby, put her in her pj's keep an eye on her so she doesn't hurt herself or get into something...... A$$ :( I'm still mad at him this morning.

     Why are they so insensitive? I don't want him to bow down to my every need by any means but at least try to help, without me having to spell it out to him and tune in to what's going on with others and not just himself :(

     AGH!!!   Thanks for letting me vent... sorry ;) 

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  • Ha Ha I'm so glad it's not just me. I just had a talk with my DH yesterday about how unreasonable & cranky I've been. He seems to think I hate him. I guess I must walk around with a pissed off look on my face a lot. I am often irritated with him for no reason whatsoever. I don't feel cranky most days, but I get caught up in all the preparations that need to be done for our house instead of worrying about the most important relationship that formed this child in my womb.

    So anyway, after a heartfelt apology, all is good... so far. Until I have another undetected mood swing...

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  • crusty1 I am right there with ya!

    I am sooo glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!! I thought I was just being a total b*tch for no reason! lol My DH has been acting like a stupid teenager recently and I told him 2 days ago that he needs to get his act together. lol Of course I felt bad and apologized later, but still why do they have to make us so mad??

    Thank goodness for internet and this blog! At least we fellow bumpies can vent and know that we're not crazy!! lol

     

  • I'm so glad to know that if I AM crazy, I'm NOT on this blog!!  Thanks for making me smile and feel a bit better about the state of my relationship with DH...there's hope yet!!
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  • Just to bring a little balance to these replies... be patient and loving with your husband, too. When you think it is hormones and not a real problem between you then take it slow.

    1) Walk away and think: is this something you have had problems with ever since you were married or is it only during pregnancy. If only during pregnancy then maybe it is hormones. TELL HIM.... I recognize this shouldn't frustrate me so much, but it is. I am trying not to let it so be patient with me if I get snippy, but can you also help by adjusting a little, too. 

    2) Don't expect ALL the attention. Many women don't understand how insignificant a man can feel or how stressed out he can be thinking about the baby. If he is having a hard time sleeping it is just as real as you having a hard time. That doesn't mean you have to apologize or stop doing what you are doing, but acknowledge that he is affected during this time, too. Something like "I'm with you on that. I can't wait til it is just the two of us in bed, too then we will both be more comfortable."

    3) TALK instead of being "the good person" and holding it in. If you are getting exhausted and you want a little help tell him. They REALLY DON'T GET IT. It is a natural thing with men... they DON'T have the same ability to read emotions like many women can. Tell him "I realize you are working late and I appreciate what you do for this family and that you are tired also. I realize you need a mental break so if you go work on the car tomorrow I would really love to have a few hours to myself the next night." 

    Sorry to go all "therapist" on you, but like some said they don't want this stress so if you can try some new techniques to get your way it may be better than a direct fight or bottling up your emotions and getting stressed out.

    *Footnote: I recognize also that there are JERKS in the world and some of you might have one either on a permanent or hopefully only temporary basis. If your husband is just a flat out jerk I really don't know what to say except "I'm sorry!: Hang in there and don't punch him since you don't want a police record. But you could try cooking a 'special meal' that he will remember for awhile or something similar ;-)

  • LOL - O girl's all I can say is thank you, thank you!  I though I was starting to go crazy myself, but feel much better knowing I am not the only one out there feeling this way!

    Last night I yelled at my DH for hanging a towel in the wrong spot, it also didn't help I had just finished up traveling for work, which just wore me out and made me irritable!

    So ladies thank you for making me feel normal again!  I love this website! 

     

     

  • I totally agree jen9004.  When I've caught myself getting worked up over nothing, and admit that, dh is much more willing to bend a little for my sake, too.  And it makes, "This is not just hormonal" statements bear a lot more weight if you're acknowledging the times that it IS the hormones.  Talking things out is sooooo critical.
  • Sorry, ladies, if you are first time moms and think it's going to get better after the baby comes.  Unless you are lucky enough that your DH reads a lot of books on the subject (mine wouldn't/won't even read the parts I've highlighted for him), first time dads are completely clueless, and since they don't have a maternal instinct, they are usually quite useless when it comes to baby (and mommy) care.  Take up your friends and family on their offers of help.  They are usually sincere, and if they're parents themselves, they know what you're going through, even if DH doesn't.  With any luck, DH will observe and learn -- somehow, they seem to accept directions and suggestions more willingly from someone other than their wives. 
  • Love it!  I was afraid to point out that it doesn't get any better!  My husband just told me the other night, I have to "step it up" around the house to help him......I am a SAHM and do everything except cut the grass (Cause I'm pregnant)  What an idiot!  He thinks because he works he is the only one who does something all day.  I want him and any other man to be pregnant, hot, hormonal and taking care of a 2 year old and let me know WE DON'T DO ANYTHING!!!!

     Also ladies:  Just wait until after the baby arrives.....they get worse because they don't like that you aren't paying as much attention to them! 

  • What does DH mean? Is that supposed to be *** Head? Dear Husband? I see so much abbreviation on here and I don't know what it means. Maybe I"m an idiot :)
  • Me and my husband had a huge fight one night.  And I mean we went at it.  I'm sure the neighbors heard everything.  There was screaming and crying and things just got nasty.  The next day I went out after work and didn't come home until late.  That same night my husband left for a camping trip with some buddies.  So his friend picked him up. They loaded up a trailer. My husband grabbed a sleeping bag and some clothes and headed out.  The next day two neighbors called him to see if everything was ok.  They thought I kicked him out.  When he told me this I couldn't stop laughing.  Laughing that hard really helped me let go and move on.

  • Well ladies.. I think I've got you all topped with this one.. 26 days ago, I was 7 wks pregnant at the time, my DH (not really a DH) walked out on me...  Yes, at the time he left me for another woman..  Didnt know why at that time, but found out a week later when I went to his moms (who is dead) house and found him in the bed with another woman..  Yes, you can say I could and still can kill hime right not..  When I found them, they werent happy.. They were woken up by my fist in both of there faces.. Black & Blue is a nice look on both of them :).. I went crazy, I know I shouldnt have b/c of the LO, but I just lost my cool..  Hormones are in full force and the *** in me has not let up.. He is no longer with her, lol.. She went back to her husband, poor poor thing.. I guess thats what one gets for messing with a pregnant hormonal heffer such as I..  Oh Well.. Oh yeah, I've still not let him back home and dont know if I ever will.
  • Your not an idiot,  I have always wondered the same thing, but I think it maybe stands for something like daddy/husband.  Just my guess. Haha though it likely isn't ***Head  in this topic that would be more appropriate.
  • DH- Dear Husband, the website has a glossary on the left hand side of the screen at the very bottom I think, I just learned the most common ones and guess the rest though

    The other night we were getting ready for bed and because of my added weight and working on my feet all day, I have a bunch of blisters and while crawling into bed I stepped on a cord just the right way on a new blister and I broke down balling, I mean I put a pillow over my head and cried like a 3 year old, DH panics thinking I broke something and I can't stop crying long enough to let him know what it is, finally I manage to tell him in broken sobs that I am just so miserable everything hurts, back, feet, hips, legs, boobs, you name it it hurts, and I can't sleep a full 5 hours anymore and I am just so miserable. I was well aware I was overreacting a little (the blister really did hurt a lot). I swear to God he tells me "Well we expected all of this." Like knowing I was going to hurt makes it better? That was his way of trying to make me feel better. I was so mad, I tried to stay calm because I know he didn't know what to say and he gave me a really good backrub, at least he is trying

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  • My suggestion is just to go ahead and punch him...he'll get over it, and then you'll feel better. You won't really hurt him anyway. 
  • Ladies, thank you for all your words. Ive been getting increasingly annoyed with my DH. He works all the time and I never see him. He never asks how I am doing (he probably is tired of hearing me complain) He doesnt clean anything up unless I constantly remind him and stay on him to do it. Hearing the words, and knowing its true, our DH's are actually clueless. We cant expect them to change just because every fiber of our beings do. Its a good thing marriages last forever (at least they are suppose to). There is plenty of time to work things out. We just need to take a deep breath and figure out whats really important.
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  • I am feeling that too only the extreme goes both ways one minute I can't stand to be w/o out my DH and the next even his voice makes me cringe. I know it's hormones I am trying so hard to be even with him but I know he notices b/c he has been super sweet lately and that makes it worse.
  • Some days my husband makes it his goal to aggravate me then wonders why i want to choke him lol
  • Wow I am so glad that I am not the only one!  I have been SOO irritable!  Some days I'm just cranky for no reason... but DH really has been insensitive, irresponsible, disconnected and uncaring recently.  I think it has been weeks since he helped out with anything in the house... he has started drinking more.. which he had promised he would slow down... he doesnt seem to care about how me and baby are doing... in fact he doesnt seem interested in the pregnancy at all... I'm sure I wouldnt be so cranky if he would show a little care.... I've been told by friends that he's probably just scared and doesnt know how to act.. but even that pisses me off!  Doesnt he think that maybe I'm scared too???  It is our first baby and we recently moved to a new city in which we have no family around and barely any friends... so I feel seriously alone and scared to do it all on my own... and well frankly he's no help!
  • ah, this is why I love the bump. Makes my own crazy seem less lonely. We're sisters in insanity. (temporarily)

    For me, sometimes it really is just hormones blowing things out of control. And sometimes, it's DH just not getting it.

    For instance: since I'm applying for an internal position at work, I am not ready to tell my coworkers. But my pants don't fit, and I'm trying to maximize all my remaining skirt options. So the other day, I'm trying on clothes in the morning, and I say "Do I look too pregnant in this outfit? Should I change?" I swear to god, he says, "No, you don't look pregnant, you look fat." And he said that because that's what he thought I WANTED to hear. argh. Just tell me to change, idiot!

  • Ya guys don't get it sometimes...they are not in our heads. So lets try and talk it out without stressing ourselves out and our babies. But I agree 100% guys can be insensitive.

    But we gota not give in to our hormones and mood swings at times. Cuz if we yell at them WE look like the crazy ones. So Lets thank God that we found our soul mates (hoping and praying we made the right choices lol)...and pray for them and our future families...because if u think about it we could be the woman on the other blog sites looking for Mr. Right.

    So Lets Love them, and lead by example. If you are mad and don't want to talk about it at that moment, write it down on a note, slide it on his pillow, and by morning ( 1st start the note off sweet, then explain how u feel) and at that moment talk about your feelings with your Hubbies when u are all cooled down.

     Long story short lets not allow our hormones to Govern our love/lives (I know sometimes its easier said than done)...But think about it, The Divorce rate is too high in this country, especially when a child is added in the equation. Life is too short (My Aunt just lost her Hubby of 30 plus years to bone cancer) So let us allow Love to Govern our daily Lives no matter how irritated we are. Love ya Ladies!

  • image suzyq678:
    Wow I am so glad that I am not the only one!  I have been SOO irritable!  Some days I'm just cranky for no reason... but DH really has been insensitive, irresponsible, disconnected and uncaring recently.  I think it has been weeks since he helped out with anything in the house... he has started drinking more.. which he had promised he would slow down... he doesnt seem to care about how me and baby are doing... in fact he doesnt seem interested in the pregnancy at all... I'm sure I wouldnt be so cranky if he would show a little care.... I've been told by friends that he's probably just scared and doesnt know how to act.. but even that pisses me off!  Doesnt he think that maybe I'm scared too???  It is our first baby and we recently moved to a new city in which we have no family around and barely any friends... so I feel seriously alone and scared to do it all on my own... and well frankly he's no help!

     

    This is for Suzy, do you have anybody close to help or talk to you, when u need someone to talk to?

  • I feel the same way!!  My hubby just went back to work after a week long vacay.  I thought we would spend time together and, well.... do it more.  It happened twice and he spent most of his time sleeping or on the computer, while I continued on, being mom and housekeeper.  When am I going to get a vacay????????  I felt like punching him several times this last week.  Oh well....

    Mommy to Jordyn Michelle age 9.

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