Babies on the Brain

I need your opinion- is this a red flag?

Sorry, this is long.

I work full-time from home, but need to go into the office 1-4 times each month, on average. I recently hired a nanny/mother's helper to come to to our house to watch Colin while I work since there is no way for me to have meetings with a 1.5 year old in the background.

She is 19 (graduated from HS in 2009), takes college classes online, has worked in preschools and daycares before. She has her fingerprint clearance card, CPR/First Aid certs and quite a bit of experience caring for toddlers.

She is GREAT with Colin. She always has him engaged in an activity, sings, reads, does crafts, etc. She is fabulous with him and he really likes her. I'm usually home when she is here (upstairs in the office) and left her home alone with Colin for the first whole day last week. Everything went perfectly.

So- here's my question. I just found her Facebook profile and these are some of her most recent status updates.  (Starting with the most current and working backwards)

-Animal crakers in my soup monkeys and rabbits loop the loop. I love animal crakers so much. Is trying vary hard to not have any more freak outs this week. Tomorow better be a better day

-Ok so good day I am sooo tired timwe for bed I bettere not wake at 4am

-Day one with out a freak out let's make it 2 and go from there.

-Is taking two steps forword one step back this is bull.

-ok realy this can stop now i am ok and has a good life

There are also random updates within those (those updates are from the past few weeks but it looks like she mentions a 'freak out' every few days or so).

What do you think? I don't want to state my opinion yet because I want to hear from you if this is something that would be a red-flag, or if you think it's okay. I already have a gut reaction, but again, I don't want to share it yet because I don't want to sway what you say. :) Thanks, ladies!

Re: I need your opinion- is this a red flag?

  • Being as it sounds her profile is not private, it opens up at least a conversation I would have with her.  Considering you're home with them thus far minus your one meeting it wouldn't be a huge red flag, but a red flag nonetheless.
  • My opinion? Teenagers post stupid, cryptic messages on FB that could mean a million things. All of those statuses could be about a boyfriend, mom, friend, anything.

    I would keep an eye on her page if it makes you feel better. Otherwise I'm sure she's just being a dramatic teenager.

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  • Does she have a boyfriend? Could they be having issues? Maybe she thinks she's pregnant?

    It does seem weird. It could be about anything though. Random crappy *** that's pissing her off. Lost ATM card, fender benders, late credit card bill...

    Makes me very curious though. Is her facebook page open for all to see or are you friends? Maybe just ask her if everything is going alright?

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  • Many 19-year-olds think a lot of things are life-or-death situations.  Maybe she is having boy problems or something.  That being said, I would ask if everything is okay and if there is anything you can do, because you don't want to ignore it, either.
  • Well, I'm wondering how she passed English class. 

    And yes, I would be concerned for her mental health

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  • I agree that it could be anything. Boyfriend drama, etc.

    But I would def. keep an eye on it. You are her employer & therefore whatever is out there about her (publicly) is fair game.

  • To anwer your questions- yes, her FB is public - we are not friends.

    She seems to have a really good head on her shoulders. She's had a VERY rough childhood. She was in foster care and was adopted when she was 16. She lives with her sister and her mom and her 17 month old neice.

    She does not have a boyfriend.

  • image tamerbelles:

    My opinion? Teenagers post stupid, cryptic messages on FB that could mean a million things. All of those statuses could be about a boyfriend, mom, friend, anything.

    I would keep an eye on her page if it makes you feel better. Otherwise I'm sure she's just being a dramatic teenager.

    This was my first thought.  I'm friends with some of my younger cousins and they often have statuses like this that really mean nothing.

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  • Maybe she is referring to the neice? She mentions not having to wake up at 4am? Could it be that the baby is up a lot or throws tantrums?
  • mmkayemmkaye member
    image tamerbelles:

    My opinion? Teenagers post stupid, cryptic messages on FB that could mean a million things. All of those statuses could be about a boyfriend, mom, friend, anything.

    I would keep an eye on her page if it makes you feel better. Otherwise I'm sure she's just being a dramatic teenager.

    This.  This sounds like my sister and all my cousins status updates who are that age.  

    I would keep an eye on it if it makes you feel better.  But it does sound like teenage drama. 

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  • Okay, thanks ladies. My thoughts were very similar to yours. She is very cheerful when she is here and I always ask her how she is doing, so I'll just keep watching things. I think I will also mention what I saw on her FB page and just ask her if there is anything I can do to help/anything she needs.

    I will be home with her the rest of this week, and into next week before I need to go into the office on Wednesday. She's been with us a month and again, no problems, so I won't do anything drastic at this time.

  • image mmkaye:
    image tamerbelles:

    My opinion? Teenagers post stupid, cryptic messages on FB that could mean a million things. All of those statuses could be about a boyfriend, mom, friend, anything.

    I would keep an eye on her page if it makes you feel better. Otherwise I'm sure she's just being a dramatic teenager.

    This.  This sounds like my sister and all my cousins status updates who are that age.  

    I would keep an eye on it if it makes you feel better.  But it does sound like teenage drama. 

    I third this. DH, BFF & I all have teenage siblings and half the time I can't even decipher their bizarre FB status updates.  I'd keep an eye on it and approach her if you feel the need, but if her track record with your son is good, I wouldn't worry too much.

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  • image tamerbelles:

    My opinion? Teenagers post stupid, cryptic messages on FB that could mean a million things. All of those statuses could be about a boyfriend, mom, friend, anything.

    I would keep an eye on her page if it makes you feel better. Otherwise I'm sure she's just being a dramatic teenager.

     

    This. If she seems to do great, whatever drama she writes about on facebook probably isn't that serious.  

  • image tamerbelles:

    My opinion? Teenagers post stupid, cryptic messages on FB that could mean a million things. All of those statuses could be about a boyfriend, mom, friend, anything.

    I would keep an eye on her page if it makes you feel better. Otherwise I'm sure she's just being a dramatic teenager.

     

    This. If she seems to do great, whatever drama she writes about on facebook probably isn't that serious.  

  • image tamerbelles:

    My opinion? Teenagers post stupid, cryptic messages on FB that could mean a million things. All of those statuses could be about a boyfriend, mom, friend, anything.

    I would keep an eye on her page if it makes you feel better. Otherwise I'm sure she's just being a dramatic teenager.

     

    I totally agree.

  • image tamerbelles:

    My opinion? Teenagers post stupid, cryptic messages on FB that could mean a million things. All of those statuses could be about a boyfriend, mom, friend, anything.

    I would keep an eye on her page if it makes you feel better. Otherwise I'm sure she's just being a dramatic teenager.

     

    This.

  • I'm a lurker but thought I would offer my opinion.  Maybe you should friend request her, since obviously you have a relationship with her, that way it won't seem stalkerish that you looked at her page, but didn't friend her.  I'm sure she'd accept your request, and then you can mention those things.

     ::Steps back into lurkdom::

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  • image tamerbelles:

    My opinion? Teenagers post stupid, cryptic messages on FB that could mean a million things. All of those statuses could be about a boyfriend, mom, friend, anything.

    I would keep an eye on her page if it makes you feel better. Otherwise I'm sure she's just being a dramatic teenager.

    this exactly.

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  • image mrs_kelly1014:

    To anwer your questions- yes, her FB is public - we are not friends.

    She seems to have a really good head on her shoulders. She's had a VERY rough childhood. She was in foster care and was adopted when she was 16. She lives with her sister and her mom and her 17 month old neice.

    She does not have a boyfriend.

    If she's back home with biological family, this could be super stressful for her. Especially if she has made life changes and they are in the same place they've always been which lead her to going in to care in the first place. If they are depending on her, that adds to it. 

    Try talking to her like PP suggested. Maybe she needs someone to talk to that she could trust. 

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