Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Anyone else afraid of sexy time?

Ever since my 6 week appt. dh has been on me about having sexy time. He will NOT leave me alone.

I am not in the mood ever and am so sleep deprived that the thought of it makes me want to cry.

I'm also not looking forward to the pain factor. I didn't tear or anything, but dh is very um... well endowed and I know it's going to hurt (at least the first few times). I already warned him that when we/I do decide it's time that we will have to use the whole bottle of

I have read that it's normal for bf'ing women to no be interested at all in sex because we get our "high" from the breastfeeding. Not sure if this is true or not, but I am totally NOT interested in the least. UGH!

Re: Anyone else afraid of sexy time?

  • I haven't been cleared yet, but I can tell you I know I won't be in the mood what-so-ever.  I can't say I get my "high" from breastfeeding though.  Anyway I'm just too tired and so not interested.
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  • If it helps any, I have always been extremely sensitive down there, and DH is not small either.. I would get sore just when we went  a few days inbetween sexy time before baby...

    However we DTD when I was 3 weeks PP (not what docs recommend, but what we just decided to do) and it was GREAT and I would say 100% better than our "first time" even, it didnt hurt.... it felt alot more comfortable than sex before, believe it or not.

    so it might not be too bad, maybe you are worrying for nothing? :) Good luck whenever you do work up the courage!

  • I had a 2nd degree tear and then tore the stitches.  I def want to have sexy time again but am not looking forward to that first time.
  • I'm kinda interested, but really really afraid. I'm afraid to even shave my lady bits. I'm only 4 weeks pp, so I'll wait till 6 weeks and then see what happens.
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  • I had a 3rd degree tear with lots of stitches. I'm definitely afraid of sexy time. I have 3 weeks until my appnt. Hopefully I'll feel better then! 
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  • I don't know, I enjoy bf my son, but it's not a "high" for me. It's not an irritant either, it just is what it is, a way to feed my son. I am also a bit hesitant to get physical again (wouldn't Olivia Newton John be disappointed) but I had an episiotomy. I guess part of it for me is that I'm having a hard time getting in the mood. I'm trying to work past it because I know it's important for hubby. Plus for us DS came 3 weeks early so it's been 2 months (maybe a little more) since we've had "sexy time". I feel guilty about it, but I'm lucky he understands.

     As far as pain goes I think logically I know it's probably not going to be any worse than when we did it for the first time. But even knowing that I'm having a hard time getting there. I'm trying though, and as long as you keep communication open it may make it easier for both of you. At least then he'll know where your coming from.

    If you don't mind the suggestion, there are other ways of having "sexy time" without having to jump right into the whole thing... work your way up to it. Think of it as a compromise. Take a shower together, or a bath , play a little. You don't have to jump in with both feet if you don't want to, just dip a toe in and see how the water is. 

     I know I'll get there eventually and I'm positive you will too! Hang in there and good luck!

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  • I had a third degree tear, and was terrified, but DF got me to go for it... I wasn't feeling it at all, but once we got going, I was glad I did and now I'm the horn dog... >.> Which sucks because now he's out of commission due to hurting his back. It didn't hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would either. It was uncomfortable the first time, but not really painful. Second time was great. :)
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  • I had my 6 weeks pp appt this morning and when DH got home from work he was all over me and I am glad to say it did not hurt at all and I enjoyed it a lot Embarrassed

    I am also BFing and the midwife was laughing when I said I wanted to do it she mentioned that usually BF mom's don't feel this way.

    I hope this encourage some ladies!!!!!


  • Thanks girls!

    It has been a very long time for us. I was on pelvic rest while pregnant and even though he was satisfied in other ways, it still isnt the same. Poor dh

    I just have to make myself and I'm sure once we are start, I'll be fine.

  • I got cleared just yesterday and hubby was on me all last week about how we were going to have sexy time and how he can not wait. I am so frightened! The pap I got did not feel nice at all, so that led me to be even more nervous. I had 2nd degree tear, but the doc says I healed wonderfully. I am breastfeeding as well as being on depo so he says my estrogen is extremely low which means lack of natural lubrication. I am so frightened and just can not even think about sexy time right now.
  • I'm definitely afraid.  DH has been getting more frisky this past week and the thought of fooling around makes my vagina hurt!  I'm still experiencing a lot of pain and I'm convinced my massive baby caused more then just a tear because of all the bone pain I'm having down there.  I don't understand all these ladies who can't wait the 6 weeks, I wish it was more like 12!!  I loved sex before getting pregnant and now I'm afraid I'll never want to have it again!
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  • Ugh  My DH too....I'm totally not looking forward to it at all.....I'm riding the...I just had surgery train as long as I can! 

    Asher Benjamin and Lola Aisling

    PCOS, Progesterone Deficiency Disorder, Multiple Miscarriage
    Clomid, Metformin, Ovadril, PIO, P17 Iron/Platlet Tranfusion

    My Spring Babies! 
    <3 Angel Baby   Elisabeth Adelle  April 2008 <3
    Asher Benjamin  April 2010
    Lola Aisling  May 2014
  • I'm petrified.  I got "cleared" a week ago even though part of my episiotomy still has not healed.  DH doesn't want me to be in pain, so he is being patient, but it's tough because I really want to but I'm too scared of the pain.  The speculum was torture enough....
    Wrangling babies since 2010
  • DS was born not 2 weeks ago and i am totally back on track as far as my drive goes.  I feel bad b/c I was completely shut off to the idea of having sex when I was pregnant and now I want to all the time, but can't.   I didn't tear badly at all, but there are definately still some tender bits down there that need some down time.  BTW, I am also EBF, so that bit of information threw me off a bit.
  • weird. i just posted something like this the other day! i was terrified. i seriously felt like a virgin all over again!

    but last night i finally gave in and did it. i ended up re-tearing where my stitches were and i made DH stop because i kept freaking out that i would get pregnant! haha. he said we can try again next week after my appointment!

    Bug & I :)
    My beautiful, sassy red head!!
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