2nd Trimester

WWYD?

My mom was asking for my friend's addresses to send them a baby shower invite, but I kind of don't want them to come. Ever since they found out I was pregnant they've pretty much been ignoring me.

They always tell me lets hang out but when it comes to the day we plan something for they can't make it. Then later on facebook they will post about how much fun they had that night going to some club or bar.

I don't want to lower myself to their levels and tell my mom sorry I don't want them there, but then again I don't see why they should be invited in the first place if they don't even want to be around me.

What would you guys do?

When life hands you lemons, you throw them back in life's face and say "F*ck you, I want some Orange juice, B!tch! Make it happen!"

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Re: WWYD?

  • At this point would you even consider them friends?  If not then don't invite them.  If you do want to continue with and try to salvage the friendships then you should invite them.
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  • I wish I had some contructive advice, but I don't. I hope it works out though. I have a few people I do not want invited to my shower because they're really not friends anymore but don't know how to do that without causing drama. Good luck.
  • I would invite them and let them be the jerks that don't show.  That way, you're still taking the high road.  but then, if they don't redeem themselves, I'd drop them as friends anyway. 
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  • If you don't want them there then don't invite them...people move on and sometimes when you have kids you make new friends and others leave.  I noticed this when I got married.

    But if you don't want to be rude or something you can always send them an invite and if they don't come, then they don't come.

  • Haha want to be my friend lol ?? All my friends did the same thing .I swear before I got preggo ,we went out to dinner and the mall and had a great time ALL THE TIME , with out drinking . Now it seems like all they do is go out and drink and Im not even included to the dinner before , and lets face it im only 22 weeks its not like im nine months preggo and wouldnt want to go out for dinner at least !!!
  • I'm sorry you have to deal with that. My best advice is if you don't want them there then don't invite them. The other option is to confront them about it. Tell them that just because i am pregnant doesn't mean i can't go out with you guys.You can have a "mocktail"

  • I see that you're 21 so I assume most of your friends are around that age as well.  It's hard to be one of the first ones to settle down and start having kids.  Your friends likely don't know what to do or say as they are at a completely different stage in life. 

    If there is one that you are particularly close too I would discuss it in a non-accusatory manner.   Just mention that you really miss them and even though you can't really go out to the bars or anything you hope you guys can find something to do together (go get your nails done, dinner, etc).

    I was completely selfish at that age.  I'm not sure how supportive/involved I would have been had one of my friends gotten married and started having kids.  It's probably pretty awkward for them as well.  They don't know how to treat you so they blow you off with the mistaken idea that you no longer have any interest in them.  You should also try to keep the baby planning talk to a minimum and engage them in conversations about their own lives.  That will get them to open up better and show them that you are still interested.

  • I wouldn't invite them.  But then again, I'm a petty person. 
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  • If I were in your shoes, I would probably invite them as one last olive branch, when they don't show (and we all pretty much know they won't) consider that your closure.
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  • I would let her invite them but if they have been acting like this they may not come. This post is kind of funny to me because I went through the same exact thing. Just be the bigger person and invite them and they probably won't show anyway and they will be the ones that put the nail in the coffin of the friendship.

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  • My mom is throwing me a shower and as this is my third baby I'm going to tell her since she's insisting to only invite our close family and close friends. If she ask me for names of friends I will specifically say that I don't really need them to be there so it fine to keep it small.

    I would not invite people you don't want there and if you don't think they will come whats the point. Also I don't think it's petty its ur shower and people who should be there should be supportive.

  • image denise_m:
    If I were in your shoes, I would probably invite them as one last olive branch, when they don't show (and we all pretty much know they won't) consider that your closure.

    This.

  • image chornback79:
    I would invite them and let them be the jerks that don't show.  That way, you're still taking the high road.  but then, if they don't redeem themselves, I'd drop them as friends anyway. 

     Initially my thought was casually mentioning something to your mom about them not having been around that much lately and seeing what she says. She probably wouldn't think it necessary to invite people you don't really see these days. However, after reading this response, I kind of agree. In the end it's your decision as to a) whether you speak to your mom, and b) whether they come. However, at least if you invite them, you can say you tried. It's up to them whether they actually show and act like you're actually friends.

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