2nd Trimester

thanks MIL for letting us know how you really feel.

My hubby just got a letter from his parents, written by his step-mother, letting us know that they think it was financially irresponsible for us to get pregnant and that the choices we made about not living together before we were married were financially irresponsible too.

My hubby and I are religious and made the choice not to live together before we were married because of our beliefs which my step-MIL supposedly shares. The timing of when we conceived was also partly due to our religion (and also due to the fact that we have to live apart now because of his job--absence makes the heart grow fonder :-) ), and we had hoped for more support from them. They don't know anything about our finances, and I don't feel they have room to criticize.

So strange...they acted like they were happy for us and excited about the baby. Now they are criticizing us and it makes me feel like they don't think we should have our baby. I am so hurt by them. :-( Thanks for letting me vent!

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Re: thanks MIL for letting us know how you really feel.

  • That's horrible! I'm sorry you are dealing with that - it's really no one's business but you and DH!!
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  • My mom did the same thing. After I told her, she basically responded with "I'm glad you're happy". Then the next morning I get an e-mail about how disappointed she is in me! I've been married for 9 years and have 3 other children with my Dh, and she doesn't think we are financially fit for another baby. We both work and do not depend on anyone, but she felt the need to put a damper on everythung. I didn't talk to her for almost 15 weeks, but then had to finally give in because of my oldest and now my mom acts like nothing ever happened. I don't understand why others feel the need to rain on your parade. Good luck with your baby, this is your special time, so try to ignore her comments.
  • Trust me see my SIL's reaction in my post below. Family reaction can be worse than anyone on the street you just have to life your life for you and your family and ignore even when it gets frustrating and hurtful.

     Take care.

  • Wow they wrote you a letter. They cant really say that didnt say that or this or that you mis-understood them on this one.

    Sorry about that. 

  • I cannot believe they wrote you a letter and could not just say it all in person or over the phone, even.
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  • well thats a bummer. sorry your il's are being that way babey they may change there minds after the baby comes?
  • Some people are just mean. I can't ever imagine my parents or in law's saying something like that.

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  • We didnt live together either and We are financially fine and DH's Dad said something to that effect as well... I think his exact words were " you think this is economically the best time to have another baby?" Um thanks?

    People are stupid.

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  • My grandparents were that way, mostly because they've blown the economy issues way out of proportion and literally think that all the big companies are going to go broke and everyone is going to lose their jobs, but I know I have a great job and now they're excited about it, so I think you just have to know that you're happy about it, and that they'll be happy when they see their grandbaby.  I feel your pain though, I can't stand it when people tell me how I should be living my life Confused
  • My IL's did the same thing,but not in a letter.DH told them the news,and there was a big pause and then,"how the hell are you going to afford a baby?".DH works full time and I am a full time student but we have enough money,just not an overabundance of it.

    They also insist that we are lying about the fact that our baby was planned,because in our financial situation, there is no way our baby wasn't an "accident"in their opinion.

    Families reactions can be very hurtful.If you are making the right decisions for you and yours,that is all that matters!Good luck!

    Lilypie - (yNYF)

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  • That's absolute crap! They have no business saying that and besides, what's the point? What do they expect you to do now?
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  • Wow...what insensitive overly opinionated family members you have! Screw them and the way they feel about your bundle of joy. Just think, after they see your sweet LO, they will have to live the rest of their lives knowing what a**es they are. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, but try to push it out of your mind and focus on the amazing life you are growing. They ought to be ashamed.
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