3rd Trimester

No vagina? NO INPUT

Ok Dad???

My Dad is determined to talk me out of an epi. He just called asking me about how I plan on going about my birthing experience. I told him, I didn't know, because I have never had a baby, and I plan on just going with the flow of what my Dr, SO, and I feel is best and safest for me and LO.

He then proceeded to tell me how my Mother, Step-Mother, and his COWS do it naturally. And how I should refuse any medication, especially the epi during birth.

1. My mother only had ONE natural childbirth, she had drugs with me (for her credit they had worn off by the time she gave birth, but helped her sleep)

2. My step-mother almost gave birth in the car because she had no idea she was in labor. And she got asked for drugs but it was too late.

3. I'm not a COW.

I told him thanks for the advice.... But I really wanted to yell at him, lol.


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Re: No vagina? NO INPUT

  • lol Don't you wish men could go through what we go through even for JUST a day?!!


    I would have told my Dad he was crazy!

  • That is hilarious! Especially the part about the cows.


  • image CyndiMN:

    That is hilarious! Especially the part about the cows.


    Yeah, COWS. He said when you do it naturally your eyes glaze over, like a cow, and your body produced natural pain relief and you just pop the calf, or baby on out. He even said that my step-mom's and mom's eyes glazed over. My step-mom yells at him all the time for the comparison. 


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  • Everyone is tring to tell me the same thing! NO EPI! Im kinda with ya I dont know because I have never done it!  Sorry about the whole thing with your dad. I hate being compared to everyone else!
  • image MMcLean05:

    3. I'm not a COW.



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  • ROFL. 

    That's hilarious (probably b/c it wasn't said to me lol), but totally awful all at the same time!!  It sounds like something my husband would say, b/c he's so... what's the word... scientific or like... methodical.  OR totally inconsiderate, lol but such a 'man' thing to say. 

  • Maybe you should tell him that the cows' eyes glaze over because they are trying to figure out WHAT THE *^$# hurts so bad!!!!!
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  • Well, if the cows can do it I don't see why you can't! LOL!  Wink
  • My fiance is for the epi if I need it. He even told me he don't understand how I do it now. He said men will never know and don't want to know how pregnancy or birth feels. I laughed at him it was cute, his face was so serious.
  • Funny...my dad is totally the opposite! He's said that he supports whatever I want to do, but then he starts spouting off stats on how safe epis are.

    I chalk it up to him not wanting his little girl to be in pain, though, so it doesn't bother me. Oh, and he didn't compare me to a farm animal.

  • LOL. i love the "i am not a cow" comment. funny dad.
  • I'd have a hard time not saying to him "I'm sorry, I stopped listening to your advice at the word COW!"

    You are not a beast of burden, you are a human being with a brain and will make the best decision for you! 

    Siggy Deleted Due to Internet Stalking. Mama to Q, born July 2010
  • make sure to do a lot of out-in-the-open BFing around him and when he fusses about it, tell him that the cows don't cover up.  
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  • I know to you it's not funny.. but to the rest of us it really is hilarious to be compared to a cow. Especially with the eyes glazed over comment. That's too much! My grandmother in law had advice of the opposite sort telling me to go back and got another c-section, cuz she did. I was induced with my first so I never got to feel what it's like to naturally get contractions. She looked at me and said, well it will probably hurt. Really birth plans are the last thing I ever want to discuss with anyone besides me SO and best friends..

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  • Only thing I have to say is "Moo"... I am a cow!
  • Tell him to pass a large kidney stone first, and then he can give you some input. 
  • haha, DH tried to give me that talk too.  To make him feel better, I said that I would try, but as soon as it gets to be too much, GIVE ME DRUGS!! 

     A friend of ours decided she wanted to do all natural, but as soon as she felt real contractions, she got an epidural lol.

  • My son was 10lbs, 8 oz and 22 inches long at birth.  When I got to the hospital I was shaking and was at 6 centimeters already.  I like you, thought I would go with the flow and see how it went - I got the drugs!  My girlfriend went to a birthing center and was going to go all natural - ended up getting drugs.  Don't let anyone tell you what to do, it needs to be a personal decision.  And you are right - just take it as it comes.

    I heard the funniest quote - if we took turns having children man first, then the woman - there wouldn't be a third child.

    Good luck and I will tell you what my mom told me - no worries, when the baby gets here, there is no more pain, just more love than you have ever felt in your entire life.  

  • Total ick.  Flippin' men.  Most of the guys in my birthing class were the same way: very opinionated about drugs.  And all I could think was, "Hey, Daddy.  Baby's not coming out of YOU.  Who cares what you think?"

    I'm with you, sister.  I probably wouldn't have yelled at my Dad either if he'd dared express an opinion, and especially if he had brought up livestock, but I sure would have wanted to.


  • You have options for a reason!  I say do whatever you feel is safe for you and your baby!  Your father has no clue what it's like to give birth.  lol And you aren't a cow!  :)

    Good luck to you!

  • Eyes glazing over?  That is the weirdest thing I have ever heard.  That would infuriate me and make me laugh at the same time if I were you.

    I am all about natural childbirth these days, but I wasn't so brave for my first time and had an epidural.  To my way of thinking,  it would probably be much easier the second time around once the birth canal had been... um...taken for at least one test drive.

     It's up to you... NOT YOUR DAD, THE COWBOY.

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  • My dad is smart enough to not offer an opinion on the subject. I wanted to have my first naturally but ended up a C-section anyway. This one is a planned C-section so again I am w/o a choice in the matter. I would try it and if it hurts too much go for the epi.

    My friend had her first naturally and her 2nd with the Epi she is having her 3rd next month and is all for the Epi now. She said she tore so badly with the first and the epi just made her relax more and she tore less with the 2nd so she'll use it for the 3rd. Whatever your body tells you to do, what does a man know about birth watching will never be the same as doing it yourself.

  • Um, I'm pretty sure the only reason cows do it naturally is because they have no choice.  If they could talk, they'd be asking for a freaking epidural too!
  • image kimtritz:


    That's hilarious (probably b/c it wasn't said to me lol), but totally awful all at the same time!!  It sounds like something my husband would say, b/c he's so... what's the word... scientific or like... methodical.  OR totally inconsiderate, lol but such a 'man' thing to say. 

    Ladies, welcome to a prime example of mansplaining.  "I've seen it this way, so it must be right!  Even though I have no personal experience in giving birth and never will, I'm pretty sure I have the right idea." 

  • Your dad is just looking out for you and the baby. An epidural has the potential to slow down your labor, cause fetal distress, and even do weird things (if they don't stick you right, your entire body can go numb, and even cause breathing problems).  The epi is not free from risk and definitely not the safest route.

     Although natural birth hurts like hell (I speak from experience), the after effects are worth the pain. Actually, the pain of labor isn't constant. The contractions start, last 60-90 seconds, and stop. Then about a minute later, they start again. Your body knows how much pain you can handle and doesn't give you more. You can handle it, especially if you have good support from your husband and doula.

    There is an incredible high after giving birth without medication. You will feel absolutely terrific afterwards. You will be tired, but alert and engaged. Your baby will also be alert and ready to nurse right away. This isn't the case with a medicated birth.

    After labor, I was all about getting some Ibruprofen to ease the soreness. But while the baby is inside you, s/he is extremely vunerable to what you put in your body. I recommend going without the epi for the safety of both of you. Medication is the beginning of a very dangerous road that leads to dangerous births, even c-sections.

    Wishing you a wonderful birth experience,


  • I think the conversation is hilarious, esp the COW part! 

     But to get serious for one moment, if you ARE wondering about birth options, The Business Of Being Born is an excellent video, source to check out birth options and what goes on. It IS very one-sided, so you should read about options and discuss w/your dr, but it did educate me a lot about what often goes on for birth and your options. Also, take a local class, I learned a lot about options there. Which processes to refuse, when to refuse them, when they are necessary or they need an empty bed, etc. Some options are listed  on WhattoExpect.com

     Please spend a moment researching your birth. Most people spend more time researching their video camera for baby than how they plan to give birth. There are MANY options. 

    Good luck! 



  • When I read this title I was like, oh yeah no doubt, right? My DH is convinced I should get a c-section, instead of the med free labor I did not get the chance to experience the first time around. I wanted that last time but was induced and because labor did not progress I was given a c-section. I do not want to undergo another major surgery again. I'm surprised you DID NOT yell at him, hey how did you keep your cool on that anyway? I would have lost it on him, myself. Congrats on your first child by the way. There is nothing like having a child. Life will never be the same for you, so much so that you will wonder how you ever existed without your son/daughter before. I wonder it all the time. After 4 years I'm so deeply in love with my son that I couldn't imagine my life without him. It would be empty I tell ya. The times when snuggles close to me and tells me, just last night that I'm the best momma he could've ever asked for. My heart melted instantly. Like goo in his hand. His sweet little angelic face when he sleeps that even to this day I still love to just watch for hours on end. Anyway do not listen to people like this, you do it YOUR way. It's your body!!! Keep that in mind whenever someone pipes up about YOUR LABOR EXPERIENCE. It is YOUR experience, not theirs, you know? Anyway, good luck on your new addition coming.


    Wife to DH of 13y but together for 18y.

    Mommy to our DS, Justin born on 12/15/05.

    Mommy to 1 angel-baby, who passed away on 6/15/07.

    Mommy-to-be to our DD due to be born on July 29th, 2010.



  • unless your dad is delivering your baby, he has no say in what you do (or don't!) do.  stick with your gut and follow your birth plan.  
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