Baby Names

Agreed to a name I don't love

DH and I have been talking about names for weeks, read books and websites, made and compared lists, etc. We have not found any favorite boys names in common.

I've gotten positive comments about DH's favorite name on this board, and from a few people IRL. I've finally agreed to name our son the name that DH likes best, even though I am still not really in love with the name. I like it, but I really don't love it.

I've started referring to the baby by name to try and get used to it. Any other advice on how I can get more comfortable with the name we've chosen for our son? 

FWIW, the name we've chosen is Wesley, nn Wes. 

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Re: Agreed to a name I don't love

  • I have no advice on how to get more comfortable with a name. IMO if you dont love a name then do not settle or agree on it. Im sorry but i can not imagine naming my child a name i was not in love with. You still have tons of time and there are tons of names out there that i am sure you and your Dh can both love. So my only advice to you is to not settle for a name because if you dont love it, you might regret it later on...keep looking! :) Good luck!

    By the way Wesley is a nice name.

     

  • When I was pregnant with DD, I agreed to a name that DH loved.  I was not in love with it, it was nice and all, but I wouldn't have thought twice about the name if DH hadn't brought it up.  We started calling DD by her name before she was born and, after a while, it just started to fit.  Soon it wasn't just a name, it was her name.  And I started to love the name because it was her name.  I have no regrets.

    If you are sure you want to use this name, then just embrace it whole-heartedly and it will start to feel more natural, especially after LO arrives.

  • If you don't like the name - don't agree to it!!!!!!!

    Trust me you will begin to hate it.  My friend did this - and she can't even call her child by name. 

    Find something you both love - you have plenty of time.  My baby wasn't named until he came out!

    FWIW - I do like the name you picked

  • I didn't LOVE ds name, we compromised to a name we both liked. It took awhile for me to say Dillon out loud. It felt weird and awkward to me. Well now I can not picture any other name on him. 
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  • Personally I think it's unrealistic to expect both parents to LOVE a name.  If you can find a name that you both do- great.  But I think that more couples than not have to compromise. 

    People are telling you to hold out.  Well, what if (as has already happened) your DH doesn't "Love" any of the names you love?  And he refuses to give in too...??? 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
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  • Allie30Allie30 member

    OMG, I was in this EXACT SAME SITUATION. My DH hated all boy names, I gave him dozens and dozens and scoured baby books and family trees and the only thing he liked was Wesley, which I thought was okay, but a little cutesy, and I was beginning to get worried and then...

    we found out it was a girl.

    I am SOOOOOO relieved. Well, at least for a few years. 

    Do *not* give in to a name you can't love. 

  • This is your son too! Don't just give it because DH loves it. Don't rule it out, but go back to the drawing board! With our 1st, we both went on baby websites, and picked lists separately... then got together to discuss maybes, hell nos and loves! We agreed with names we both loved for our first, and we both LOVE our boy name picked out for this child, but are unsettled on a girl name.

    Don't give in... I do think it's possible to find a name you both love.

  • Thanks for the feedback everyone. I don't love the name, but I wouldn't have agreed to it if I hated it. It's just not a name I would have ever thought to use if DH didn't love it so much. Right now, it sounds funny to me coming out of my mouth. If anyone else were to name their son Wesley I would love it for them, I just never imagined it would be my son's name. It's something I need to get used to.

    I know we're only halfway through the pregnancy and I could have had more time to decide, but it felt right to make this decision now. The look on DH's face was awesome when I called the baby Wes, and I wouldn't take back my decision for the world.

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  • Spin313Spin313
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its
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    Once you meet your little man, the name will grow on you.

    DH really wanted to name DS Matthew.  It wasn't what I would have picked, but I didn't dislike it or anything and it was a family name, so I agreed.  Now I can't imagine DS with any other name.

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  • skyejoskyejo
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
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    You still have a lot of time to pick out a name that you both love.  I don't think it's fair to you to name your child something that you aren't completely on board with. 

    DH and I agreed that we both had to love the name.  We compared lists, crossed off the majority of names, and came up with a select few that we actually both loved. 

  • KJKNAJKJKNAJ
    Tenth Anniversary 250 Answers 1000 Comments 100 Love Its
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    I don't LOVE my DD's name. I like it. And of course now I can't imagine her being anything else. But it was never a name I LOVED.

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  • With DS #2 we were down to 2 names:  Benjamin (my fav) and Jackson (DH fav). I liked J but I didn't love it.  DH did though-he was really cute about it and seemed to love it so much more than my feelings toward Benjamin.  When I look at DS he is a Jackson through and through and I love the name now b/c it is his name. 
  • Kml9876Kml9876
    Ancient Membership 100 Comments
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    My dh had a name he loved for our son, but I wasn't sold. Even when I went into labor I hadn't agreed to the name. Then when our son came I agreed to the name he loved. I couldn't imagine our little boy having any other name now. I totally understand where you are coming from. I had a very hard time finding a boys name that I liked. In the end I am more than happy I gave in and let my husband go with the name that he wanted.
  • I say keep looking if you don't love it.  I think your child's name should represent both parents.  We were urged to name our child "George" after his grandfather, but neither my husband nor I love that name yet we wanted to please family.  So, we picked a first name we both loved and did George as a middle name.  I like the name Wes, but there are tons of other names out there and you have to love it too! 
  • I did too with my first son's name... I settled. After months and months and months of researching and hubs was set on a name I just threw in the towel. Just like you, I liked it, but it wasn't love. BUT... it totally worked out. Once you meet him and tell him his name... it seems to all work out and now I love it. So hopefully it will be the same for you. And by the way... I love Wesley/Wes.

  • I am in the same boat...if we're having a boy then his name will be Darryl-after DHs mothers brother who passed away.

    I don't love it.

  • I'm in a similar situation.  He loves the name Eli.  I like the name in general, but it just doesn't feel right for our son.  After reading books and making lists, we still can't find a boys name that we both love.  I'm hoping it will be easier to decide on one once we meet our baby.  Good luck to you!
  • I didn't love love the name we picked for our DS either before he was born but we wanted a name to call him so we could get used to it and now, I'm still not sure how much I love it but everyone else does and it's not really common and he is Donovan to me, even though I call him pumpkin head more than Donovan :)
  • Oh honey I've been there!  My husband just LOVES his name.  Loves it.  And was totally offended when I said I didn't want to name our child Jr. after him!  He couldn't believe I couldn't want to name our child after him!  (His name is fine, but I consider it an adult's name-sounds weird for a kid unless you add a "y".)  And I just didn't like Jr or JR (I dated a JR-bad flashbacks!) or his name w/ a "y".  I tried to get him to agree to other names but he wouldn't budge.  My mom said I had to let this one go (although I thought I might die if I had to!) and she let me know that my brother's name wouldn't have been her first choice either (my brother is the III).

    I put my skills as an attorney to use & negotiated for us both to win.  I gave him two options for nicknames that the baby has to go by (having two people in the same house w/ the same name is SO CONFUSING!)  And I said since he was getting his first choice & I wasn't getting any thing I wanted out of it, that I got exclusive naming rights to the next child.  He's naming this child, I get the next.  He got what he wanted, I got what I wanted (he poo-pooed several of the cute names I like-can't doing any thing about it for the next one!).  He agreed, and was SO happy.

     And it's true, once you start calling the baby by the name that's picked, it really becomes your baby's name & it grows on you. 

    I tried all the tricks other posters had suggested & none of them worked.  This was the only thing that made us both happy!  So maybe you could try re-opening discussions & negotiate some sort of deal for you guys!  Good luck!

  • My hubby and I went round and round about names.  I think we "officially settled on a name" about 12 times before little man was born.  Eventually we had a pool of names that could be put together in just about any combination... then the day he was born, I looked at him and knew his name.  I couldn't imagine calling him anything other than Teddy now.  He looks like it and acts like a Ted.  You have lots of time... keep looking, think about it, and don't involve anyone else.  I found that once we stopped listening to everyone else, it made picking names much less stressful!
  • DH has had a name he absolutely loved before we even founf out that we were expecting. He had seen a movie about Jackson Pollock and through the whole movie kept saying what a cool name that would be for a son. Well 3 years later we find out we are having a son and DH is still in love wiith the name. I have gotten so use to hearing his name tha t it just seems to fit. I did get to pick the middle name and I love the way it all flows together. Best of luck to you and Wes is indeed a very cute name.
  • He isn't here yet, so I wouldn't consider the name game a closed issue.  I will guess that your husband will be receptive to you wanting to wait until you find one you BOTH love.  If not, then when your cutie is born, simply say, he doesn't look like a Wesley and pick another name then....

     Just some thoughts...

  • If you want to convice your husband to change his top name choice here is what worked for me.

    I googled the name in question too see who popped up with that first/middle name combo, lucky for me it was the name of Miss Gay Missorri (a crossdressing male) , so my husband agreed it wasn't a great pick for our daughters name.

  • That's a nice way to explain it, Kryssy.  I agreed to my daughter's name when I was 20 hours into labor and I was willing to agree to anything.  My husband proposed name after name while I was riding out contractions (back labor, nonetheless!) and I finally told him to just pick one.  After she was born, the hubby began calling all of our relatives to let them know the baby had finally arrived.  I was one of the last people to find out her name!!  We named her Sylvia Claire, and we're calling her Sylvie for short.  Although it wasn't at the top of my list, I am starting to really like the name because it's the name of my beautiful baby. 

    BTW, I think Wesley (Wes for short) is a great name. It's a classic that will never go out of style.

  • So far, I have suggested a bunch of names but DH said flat out no to the ones I like most, and is considering some others. The only name he suggested is Caleb, which he says he really likes, but I think it is too normal (I prefer something cultural for one of our back grounds or something a little less common). Since its the only one he suggested, I think we are going with it, and have tried using the name to get used to it, but I get to pick the middle name and if DS is anything like his Daddy and Grandpa, he will go by his middle name anyway, so in the end I think I win.

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  • LOL- I have had a similar dilemma.  My husband wants to name our baby after his grandfather.  Problem is not only do I dislike the name, (it sounds horrible with my accent)it is also the name of an ex-boyfriend I had.  I leveled with him, and told him the problem- we have compromised.  We will use the name as a middle name, so I don't have to say it, but will still have some meaning for my DH.
  • I was certain I would name my first son Anthony since I was little girl I had that name picked out. My husband hated it so we found a name we both liked I have a 9 year old named D'ante. I am pregnant again and I like the name Cheyenne for a girl but my husband hates it. So again we will look until we agree, if it's a girl that is we have already settled on a boys name. My point you can find something you both love it will happen don't let anyone tell you it can't. Good luck!
  • I was in the same situation when our youngest daughter was born.  Lucky for him he caught me in a week moment...I was in labor...and I agreed on the girl name that he loved.  It has totally grown on me and I would not change her name in a million years.  Suits her perfectly!  Her name is Jasmine.
  • I've always said that since I'm the one who has to carry the baby for 9 months and deliver her, and nurse her, I get all final naming rights Smile  I mean, I'm doing all the work, so I get final say on the name pick, you should just pull that card, lol
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  • Sorry for being a total troll, but I couldn't resist. Since you already said you want to go with this name and you don't dislike it but just want to fall in love with the name, I have to recommend what made myself personally fall in love with that name: watch the movie The Princess Bride! It probably won't have the same effect now if you'd never seen it before than it would have if you'd grown up watching it. Or maybe you've already seen it and that's not enough to make you associate the name with the awesome character (but really, who doesn't LOVE that movie? ;) So go hit up the redbox, maybe you'll change your mind about it. That is, if you're even checking this thread anymore by the time I saw it.
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