Stay at Home Moms

Would this bother you?

HI All

This happened last week and it has been bothering me ever since. I feel weirded out by it, like creeped out kind of. I don't want to talk to anyone I know in real life about it because it feels a bit creepy, so I hope some of you here can just give opinions, I don't know.

The phone rang last week in the morning, caller ID said it was my DH. I answered but there was no reply,. I could hear noise in the background so I waited a bit (sometimes he calls me then he gets interrupted with a work thing so it takes him a few seconds/minutes whatever, to talk to me so I just waited a bit). Still nothing. I was pressing buttons and stuff to try to get him to hear because then it seemed like he must have dialled without realizing it and didnt even know we were on the phone. (It was his cell)

All of a sudden when I am about to hang up, I hear him whistle, like the whistling at a woman whistle, I cant describe it, but do you know the one I mean? I hope so. Anyway, I was like wth and was going to hang up when he noticed the phone and picked it up and said hello. He was surprised as he didnt know the phone was connected, I think he was about to say could he call me back but I said "Who are you whistling at?" He said "No one, I am in my truck" So I replied "Well it wasnt no one since I clearly heard you whistle, so let's try again, who are you whistling at?" He says again "no one" so I just hung up because I was pissed. He called back right away but I didnt answer. I havent brought it up to him again since I dont really know how I feel.

On one hand sure I know a man sees a pretty woman and can appreciate the prettiness, I mean, I see a handsome man out and about and I can appreciate his good looks, so I am not saying he shouldnt see someone and think they are pretty because I see handsome men all the time, but I dont whistle at them and stuff...I mean, to me it is sort of creepy. I sah with our child (2 more on teh way) and we have a great marriage, never problems, really really happy so all in all every other aspect of things is great, but now I cant get it out of the back of my head thinking my dh is driving around whistling at women all day, it is just plain weirding me out....

sorry if this was long.

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Re: Would this bother you?

  • It would bother me and I probably would not be able to keep quiet about it for as long as you have.  I would like to think my husband is not the whistling/cat calling kind of guy so if I heard that I would probably be wierded out by that.
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  • thanks for your reply.

    That is just the thing, I would NEVER ever in a million years think my dh was that type of guy so I think that is why I am so thrown by this, it is creepy to think about it. It is hard not to bring it up but I have thinking about it a lot and want to sort it out in my head before I bring it up so I sort of know how I feel before I do. I dont know. And then I think, I am also mad because he lied and said no one, but he may have just been caught off guard since he didnt know I was on the phone

    I dont know, it is wicked weird since I never would have thought this about him until I heard it, so I am very shocked I guess.....

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  • DochasDochas
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    It would bother me, but be one of those things that I felt like I shouldn't be too bother about - ya know?  I would tell him the opinion we, as women, have of men that whistle at us in the street.  Something like "that dirtbag ahole probably has a wife and child at home".  I'm sorry you heard that, but I'm sure he feels really bad about it.
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  • Very odd. I probably would have called him out on it again once he got home. I dont' think I could keep my mouth shut for that long on the subject, especially if it was really bothering me.

    If he simply was whistling at a pretty girl walking by (assuming he was sitting in his truck) I don't see why he just wouldn't been honest about it or say something like "I was joking around" IDK - very strange. 

    GL with this!!!

  • yeah he was definitely sitting in his truck, driving actually, not just sitting there parked, I could tell by background sounds. thats why i originally just said who are you whistling at just to pretty much let him know i heard and to make him feel bad i guess, by bringing it up, then when he said no one i was like ok he must be embarassed or something and i was so mad so i hung up then after i just have been thinking about it, first tried to just forget it and in the grand scheme of things it isnt a very big deal, compared to what some women go through with their husbands, but i guess i just cant forget about it because it has been almost a week and clearly i am still thinking about it some,

    i guess maybe i will just bring it up. just let him know i think it is creepy. so weird, it is sort of like i am weirded out enough by it that i just want it to go away but i guess im not easily forgetting it.

    i wanted to make sure it wasnt preg hormones making me overreact but i dont think that is it, its is weird

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  • yeah it would have irriated me too, but maybe he was just kind of whistling to himself? I shudder to think of some of the things I could get caught doing haha.  Talking, singing to myself. Was it a really loud whistle?
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  • I would just give him the benefit of the doubt and let it go.  Seriously, it's not worth freaking out over.  Especially if you guys have a happy marriage.  Hopefully (if he did in fact whistle at another woman), he'll take it as a gentle wake-up-call that he shouldn't be doing that and won't do it again since he got busted once already!  
  • Daisy77Daisy77
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    Well if it's the kind of whistle I'm thinking of I have a few ideas based on my own DH.  First of all, there is the song "Starstruck" by 3OH!3..DH will kind of sing along (but not really) and then he'll whistle when they do.  That being said, the man will whistle when he sees.....a snowplow.  Kind of like a "Damn, that's a nice looking plow." It will eventually be followed up with a "Can I get it?" to me, lol.

    I wouldn't worry about it too much.  You probably got (what DD#1 calls) "butt-dialed" and he didn't realize he was on the phone.  If he was just whistling to be a dork he was probably embarrassed that he was "caught", you know?

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  • The fact that he whistled wouldn't be my problem.  My problem would be that he said he didn't whistle and I know he did.  Why is denying it?  I don't like the denial.  That's unnerving.
  • I think you need to get some more explanation or this won't go away in your mind. I would be super non confrontational about it though. I think I would say, "it was so weird the other day. You called but then I didn't hear anybody but I could tell you were driving. Then I heard you or something make a loud whistle noise. I was so confused." Maybe he'll use the opportunity to explain. Maybe it was something simple like whistling to a song. Or maybe he was just trying out his whistling skills. If it doesn't sound like something he would do to whistle at a woman, then there is probably some other explanation. Your dh probably thinks you are over it since you haven't brought it up. This is the type of thing my dh and I would totally get to the bottom of and I'd be expecting and innocent explanation that we would laugh about. If he was whistling at a woman, I'd expect him to come clean about that too.
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  • Yes, it would definitely bother me, but at the same time, I'm not sure if it *should* bother me.  I've definitely been guilty of a few "dayum he's fine" comments to myself when I see a cute guy on the street.  But I still love my husband completely.  I have no interest in other guys other than appreciating random hotness when it crosses my path.


    Nola 3.30.08

    Lucy 5.15.12


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  • image detroitblondie:
    I would just give him the benefit of the doubt and let it go.  Seriously, it's not worth freaking out over.  Especially if you guys have a happy marriage.  Hopefully (if he did in fact whistle at another woman), he'll take it as a gentle wake-up-call that he shouldn't be doing that and won't do it again since he got busted once already!  

    This.

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  • image jerseycaptive:
    The fact that he whistled wouldn't be my problem.  My problem would be that he said he didn't whistle and I know he did.  Why is denying it?  I don't like the denial.  That's unnerving.

    I agree. If he whistled and just admitted it, I'd let it go. The fact that he's being all shady about it is weird. I'd definitely call him out on it.

  • image BeanieWeanie:

    image jerseycaptive:
    The fact that he whistled wouldn't be my problem.  My problem would be that he said he didn't whistle and I know he did.  Why is denying it?  I don't like the denial.  That's unnerving.

    I agree. If he whistled and just admitted it, I'd let it go. The fact that he's being all shady about it is weird. I'd definitely call him out on it.

    I agree too. I thought it was a bit funny when I first was reading the part that he whistled but then got a bit creeped out when he denied it. I think there needs to be a conversation about this. If only to hear him say, yes I whistled. I don't know why, I never do it. It would drive me insane until we discussed it. Besides, it's already out there. He knows you know because you asked and then hung up. The ever worse part is that you have not discussed it. How could you see each other after this and neither of you mention it. A conversation must happen to give him a chance to explain.  

  • Thanks for all of your replies!

    I am going to bring it up but this is our anniversary weekend and I hate to do it then, but at the same time, the longer time that passes the weirder it is for me to bring it up maybe. I dont know. Tomorrow is anniv, so maybe I bring it up tonight, just to get it off my chest

    The part about denying it got me mad too, I mean, the whistling is creepy, but the lying is horrible too. I am sure it is just a matter of he got embarassed that I heard but still, he knows I heard so why lie?

    I feel better now to hear others think it is creepy because in the back of my mind I was afraid I was overreacting due to preg or something.

    thanks again, I appreciate you all taking the time to reply

     

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  • It would bother me that he can't explain WHY he whistled! I mean, you clearly heard it. He didn't even say "Oh it was the radio." or "Oh it was someone outside my truck." He didn't have any explanation. So yes that would bother me. I used to get whistled at all the time (luckily a stroller will stop that!) and yes it is CREEPY! I hope he didn't do it because that is disrespectful to you and to whoever he whistled at.
    Claire Zoe, 10.26.10

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    Brady Phoenix, 8.29.09

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    Abigail Noelle, 8.29.09

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  • image MrsPreK:

    Very odd. I probably would have called him out on it again once he got home. I dont' think I could keep my mouth shut for that long on the subject, especially if it was really bothering me.

    If he simply was whistling at a pretty girl walking by (assuming he was sitting in his truck) I don't see why he just wouldn't been honest about it or say something like "I was joking around" IDK - very strange. 

    GL with this!!!

    Yes i agree completely with this post!

  • Yeah it would bother me a bit too. I think it would bother me because when guys do that its degrading, rude and seems really cheesy. It wouldnt make me think my so was cheating or anything though. Just bring it up and say how it makes you feel and that you would appreciate if he didnt do that. I dont think its a huge deal. I can definetly see where your coming from with the whole pregnant with twins, baby at home while he is checking out chicks. I think he should buy you flowers or something and smooth it over ;) Im not really a jealous person so its not a huge deal to me.
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  • I think you are jumping to conclusions about what you (think) you heard over a partly muffled phone line.  Get the real story first.  But, no, it probably shouldn't bother you anyway.
  • I am going to be honest with you.  I think you blew the situation out of proportion.  At the same time, if he had whistled at someone....who cares.  You can't be that naive to think that guys don't look at other women.  I also know a lot of women that look and "oogle" at men when they are out with there girl friends so come on.  As long as he is not acting on it then who cares.  Is it frustrating to think that your husband might be doing that all the time...sure, but give him the benefit of the doubt.  If that's truly what you think that happened just explain to him if thats something he does it's inappropriate and ladies don't like that. If he tells you that's not what he was doing then let it go.  Maybe he was just whisteling in his car. You are going to cause more problems if you just don't let it go.  If you have already addressed the issue and he tells you that it was not what  you think then let it go.  Now, if you observe other behaviours that are alarming then I guess that might be cause for concern but give it a rest. 
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