Babies: 9 - 12 Months

About young marriages...

Inspired by one of the Knot "secret" posts about young marriages failing.

REALLY depends on what mindset you go into the marriage with. I was married at 19. We're celebrating 7 years of marriage and 9 years of "togetherness" this year. He's five years older.

I would NOT get married so young again, but I just wanted to prove that not all of those marriages fail.

And BTW - I still finished college and waited five years to get pregnant.

Re: About young marriages...

  • I agree, some of the longest marriages I know married when they were young. My grandparents, Dh's grandparents, etc....

    I met Dh when I was 16 we have been together 10 years this year. We waited to get married until I was done with college. So we married 3 years ago, seven years into our relationship. I was 23 when I got married, 23 when I got pregnant (6 months after wedding), 25 when Ds was born. I am about to turn 26 this year and my husband will be 30 this year. 

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  • I got married at 21, and we are celebrating 11 years of togetherness and 7 years of marriage. I finished my MS degree and we waited 6 years to get pregnant. Success stories are out there :)
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  • I am 22 about to be 23, getting divorced after being married 3 years.

    As much as I hate my husband at the moment for having an affair and leaving us, I would do it all over again.

    Reguardless of how old you are or how long your together, you can't predict the future. You have NO idea what's going to happen. If you second guess every choice you make, your going to live a miserable life.

    There are definately things I would do differently, such as going to school right out of high school. However, I would have still married H, or I wouldn't have dd.

    Everything happens for a reason. I don't regret marrying H. I regret the decisions hes made...but I can't control him!

  • My grandparents got married when they were fresh out of HS. They had known each other since grade school, but didn't date until HS. My grandpa was leaving for WWII as a marine. They bought $10 rings and got married. They would have been married 63yrs the year my grandpa died. .... I am sobbing right now. 

    They are the couple I hope DH and I can be. 

  • I want to share my story too :)

    I met and starting  "dating" my DH when I was 14 and he was 16.  We bought our first home when I was 19 and he was 21.  We married when I was 23 and he was 25 and had Jack within our first year married.  We now have been together for 10 years (1 married). 

    We both finished college (we married the fall after I graduated with my BSN) and DH is back in school for his bachelor's (he earned his first degree at a technical college)...he is now in school for engineering. 

    I would do it all over again :) 

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  • That's great that so many of you have success stories, but you're really just the exception that proves the rule. A much higher percentage of young marriages fail than "older" marriages.

    And I wasn't exactly old when I got married, either- I was 22 and my husband was 23, and I still think we were awfully young to get married.

  • image SusieQ1982:

    That's great that so many of you have success stories, but you're really just the exception that proves the rule. A much higher percentage of young marriages fail than "older" marriages.

    And I wasn't exactly old when I got married, either- I was 22 and my husband was 23, and I still think we were awfully young to get married.

    People are actually waiting longer before they get married. Many are waiting to finish college etc... something back in the day most women did not do.

    The divorce rate now is 50%.

    There are a lot of factors that have to do with divorce and although age can play a factor there are many other factors. Such as studies have found that those who live together before marriage have a higher rate for divorce. Weird right? well there are reason why they have found that but i really dont feel like typing it out, lol.  

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  • My parents were 17 and 19 when they got married and my mom was 3 months pregnant with me at the wedding.  While they have had their ups and downs, and some times I wonder how they every decided they were right for each other...they still act like they are teenagers and love each other as much now as they ever did. (though they fight like teenagers too ;) )

     DH and I meet when I was 22, we only dated for 9 months before we were engaged and were only engaged for 9 months before we were married and moved half way across the country.  We waited an entire year before we started TTC and it took us another year to accomplish it.  One of my older cousins still thinks I got married to young and for sure started my family too early.  Yet she was 25 when she got married and was in her 30s when she had her 1st and she is the one that desperately needs a divorce (but wont b/c of the kids....that she had in an attempt to save her marriage).

    That being said...I agree with the PP, sometimes its all about your attitude (both you and your SO) going into it, not about your age.  No matter your age you can be immature and childish.

  • image SusieQ1982:

    That's great that so many of you have success stories, but you're really just the exception that proves the rule. A much higher percentage of young marriages fail than "older" marriages.

    Unfortunately, this is true. It is nice to hear stories though that go against this.

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  • I agree. I definitely think it depends on the couple. I got married at 22. DH was 25. I had DS at 24 and DD at 26. We will be celebrating 5 years married and 8 years together this fall. I am very happy with my decision.
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  • Well I am 20 and DH and I have been together for fouryears and we are about to have our two year wedding anniversary soon.  My mom and dad we married at 18 and 19 just like DH and I and same with my grandparents and my older brother and they are all still happily married.
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  • My parents got married at 17 and 19 because she was pregnant with us (twins @ 17 gasp!). March 6th was 28 years together :) I met my husband when I was 17 and he was 24. We were married 3 years later. After 7 years of marriage we just had our first child. I love him more and more everyday as cheesy as that sounds. If my daughter wants to get married young I will support her 110%!
  • that's awesome! my grandparents were married at 19 and next week it'll be their 60th anniversary.

    i got married at 22. DH was 21 (almost 22). where i went to college, it was common to get married young. now, people from my high school think i'm insane to have a kid at 24, but they are all career minded, and i am not.

    ETA: i got married the day after i graduated college. DH had 1 semester left, he's now in law school (2nd year).

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