My wife and I used theKnot.com in order to get ready for our wedding 2 years ago. I couldn?t remember the name of the site a few weeks ago when my wife told me she was pregnant. Lo and behold I found it today, 1 day too late. Unfortunately we lost the baby yesterday 03/10/2010. I decided to post on the site as there isn?t much out there for fathers who are going through this. The perception that men gloss over everything that is related to emotion is just a crock. We do feel and we do hurt when something this huge happens. From the beginning of this pregnancy I had a bad feeling about it. For some reason I just couldn?t get exciting. Don?t get me wrong I was happy that we were able to conceive and was stoked that the baby would be born sometime around Halloween, but something just kept nagging at the back of my mind not to count the chicks before they hatch. Unfortunately I was right and after 2 days of light spotting my wife went to the hospital after she told me what was going on. I met here there and the doctor said that based on what she was telling him we should be fine. 4hrs after getting back my wife needed to go to the washroom. It?s a moment I will never forget for the rest of my life. I was sitting in the living room when I heard her in the washroom. As soon as I heard her I was up out of my chair and in there to find her on the floor crying. One look at the toilet and I knew immediately what had happened. The doctor was wrong and after having had our doubts set aside by the ER doctor it was crushing for her to have that happen. At the time I think I was in shock as I just sat there consoling her. The full realization for me only came the next day and I must say that it was the hardest day I have had at work that I can remember. Tears did flow, yes men do cry too anyone who says they never or don?t is a liar. The pain for me is not so much about the loss of the baby but more for my wife who feels that it was her fault. She feels that if she had done this or that, that the outcome would be different but unfortunately a miscarriage in the 1st trimester is extremely common and nothing can be done to stop it. No one knows why but most research suggests that it?s due to something related to the fetus not developing properly. It kills me to know that she is hurting and that there is nothing that I can do to make it better. For the men reading this, your wife is feeling everything. The ups the downs and literally feels everything coming out during the miscarriage. For my wife that was the main thing that bothered her. This has also increased her ?it my fault? attitude. The most important thing I can recommend to all of you reading this is to communicate with each other. Turn off the TV, shut down the cell phone, and get away from any distractions and talk. The only two people with the answers to the many questions you both have are the two of you and trust that you will get through this but the lines of communication must be open.