1st Trimester

Bridesmaid dress at 9 months pregnant

I recently found out I'm pregnant and will be due a week after a wedding I'm a bridesmaid in.  We're ordering dresses this week (while I'm 8 weeks pregnant) and I have NO IDEA how to decide what dress size to order.  I'm usually a size 4 in clothes and was originally told to order a size 6 of this bridesmaid dress.  The bridal shop really has no suggestions on what I should order and was wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and could offer some advice?  If not, I'm thinking I'll just order BIG and can always bring it down.  Plus the dress is very fitting thru the waist so I don't have the benefits of an A-line dress.

Re: Bridesmaid dress at 9 months pregnant

  • I would personally wait ordering, if at all possible. You have no idea how you'll look when you are 9 months pregnant, and there is a good chance that you'll deliver before the wedding. GL
  • Since you are going to be full term, maybe the bride would be ok with you ordering a different shape all together.  A line or empire waist.  You may not even be able to stand for the ceremony at that time or could be in labor. 
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  • Honestly, I would back out of being in the wedding all together. I understand it may be important to you and the bride, but a week before your due it REALLY iffy. With both my pregnancies I've never made it to 40 wks. I even went to a wedding 3 wks after having my daughter and it was TERRIBLE having to breastfeed her every hour at the wedding and still being so new at breastfeeding with her, I was squirting on the dress and having to have DH help me get her latched and things. It was terrible and we left after 3 hours even though DH was having a blast. I could not imagine trying to do this as PART of the wedding party.

    BUT, if you do decide to still be in it, I would go WAY bigger than a size 6. First of all formal dresses run much smaller than normal clothes anyway, and you have no clue how much weight you'll gain. I was a size 4 as well and gained 60 lbs with my son, but only 11 with my daughter (even though I lost all my pp weight from before). So you really NEVER know. And even though you may not want to tell people you are pregnant yet, I HIGHLY suggest talking to the bride.

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  • I was just in a wedding this past weekend at 6 months pregnant.. let me tell you, I vowed to never be a pregnant bridesmaid again. I had to wear a dress that was VERY unflattering for a pregnant person, I just looked completely round, not pregnant, and towards the middle of the reception I got unbelievably uncomfortable. My feet got beyond swollen from standing in heels all day, and still haven't gone completely down. And by the end of the night I was so, so tired. 

    Also, I think being in a wedding a week before your due date might be pushing it- what if the baby decides to come early? What if you're feeling completely miserable at that point since you're so close to the end? I would just really think about it first. That said, I know some people have done it and were totally fine. To each their own!

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  • I agree with PP about backing out of the wedding all together. A week before your EDD is just too close IMO. Even for myself now at 8 months, I don't know if I'd want to be a bridesmaid - I have good days of course, but when I have bad days I am in a lot of back pain, etc. etc. Being a bridesmaid requires a loooong day of being on your feet and (I think) would be far too uncomfortable at 9 months. Not to mention you'll have no idea what size to order - I wouldn't even know what size to order for myself at this point, your body changes week to week, day by day.

    Anyways, just my two cents...GL!

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  • I'd offer to back out. You very well could go into labor days before the wedding, deliver a few weeks early, etc.

    If you don't back out, as the bride about getting a dress the same material, and length but different cut. Even if the other dresses are a tea length and the only empire dresses available in the right color/fabric are floor length, it'll be a HELL of a lot easier to take up the hem than to totally reconstruct an A line dress. And let's be honest - at 9 months you aren't exactly going to be 'matching' the other bm anyway.

    Finally - if you don't back out and have to wear the same dress buy a BIG size (like 12 or so), find an awesome seamstress, and schedule her to do a last minute, week before, total alteration.

  • I too, am in this situation! I am 8 weeks pregnant, and will be in a wedding at 7 months pregnant. The bride does not know yet, but we had to order our dresses the other day. I usually wear a 4 in dresses, but I ended up ordering a size 10. This was a HUGE jump in sizes, but the dress chosen does not give at all, and is very sleek around the tummy. I plan on getting major alterations done to the dress, right before the wedding. Good luck! It is so hard to figure out how big we will be by then, and where the weight will be! I'm hoping for it all in the belly, but you never know what my body has planned....
  • I am in a wedding two weeks before my due date.  While I am not into sharing this pregnancy news early at all, I was up front with the bride.

    There is no way the BM dress would have worked for me -- it had no give in th waist.  A larger size wouldn't have cut it.   So we talked to the consultant, who pointed us in the direction of some dresses with more forgiving waists in more forgiving materials.  I just got one of those in the same color.

  • I'm surprised the bridal shop has no suggestions. Seems to me that they would have experience with this sort of thing. I'm in a wedding in Aug. and I'll be 5 mos. and we didn't know I would be pregnant when we ordered the dresses. So my dress is true to my current size. They just ordered me an extra yard of fabric and liner so they can make the necessary adjustments. I would say that 2 sizes up would be good for you, and maybe order some extra fabric too?

    ETA: K, I obviously have no idea about sizes!! :) Take the other's advice about sizes, but I would still order more fabric and possibly talk to the bride about taking the dress to a different seamstress since the current bridal shop seems to have no experience with this?

    OR, the idea of getting a different dress in the same color is a good one. Does the bride know yet? I would definitely speak to her soon.  I'm not sure about those who are saying back out...there are a lot of brides (myself included - my SIL was 8 months preg at my wedding) who could care less if you wear a paper sack so long as you're there to support them. Because it's about the support, not about what you're wearing. I would just talk to the bride and see what her thoughts are. True you may not be comfortable or you may deliver early, but you just never know. I know everyone is different, but I went to 41 weeks and to be honest...I felt absolutely fine. I could have stood in a fancy dress and heels with no problems. But I know everyone is VERY different. For the wedding I'm in in August, I decided that I didn't care how much I had to spend - if I had to get a completely new dress - I would have done it b/c it was important to my future SIL for me to stand with her. I didn't plan to become pregnant for her wedding, but I was sure as heck going to do everything I could to make this unexpected twist go smoothly for her big day!!!

    Just my two cents...

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  • Thought I'd add this as well: even though you may order a few sizes up, that still doesn't mean that that particular dress will fit you properly (especially if it's A-line!!). I tried on some reg. dresses this weekend for my shower...I can technically still "fit" into a med. size, however, it looked terrible on my pregnant shape. I would def. try and change the style of at all possible!
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  • I am in just about the same situation.  But, I will be 36 weeks.  I know I ended up ordering way too big, but I figure it is easier to take it in then let it out.
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  • I would back out of the wedding, if I were you. The bride is counting on you to be a part of her wedding, and chances are very good that you won't be able to be in it. Then, she will either stress about having an uneven number of attendants or trying to find someone else at the last minute.

    At that point in time, there's a very good chance you will have either had your LO already or will be so uncomfortable that standing up there the whole time will be torture. In saying that, I would wait another month or so before formally dropping out (just in case, God forbid, anything does happen with your pregnancy and you will be able to stand up with her). Whatever you choose, good luck!!

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  • Yea, my question would be does the bride know you're KU.

    I am not the kind of woman who thinks that women should kick their friends out of their wedding parties because they're pregnant, but 9 months, well, there's a really good chance you could be in labor, on bedrest, etc, and not be able to be there.  I agree with the others on waiting as long as you can to buy.  I'd think the bride wouldn't go crazy over the dye lot.  If you haven't talked to the bride yet.  Tell her now! 

    GL to you!

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  • I had this problem with DD.  I am normally a ten and ordered a 16 - two weeks before DD was born.  Any smaller would have never fit; and, I only gained 25 lbs.  Honestly, I would go up 3-4 sizes.  I know it sucks, but you can always get it taken in.
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  • I'm in a wedding at 35 weeks, I had to order at 13 weeks. Prepregnancy I was a size 6. The bride is allowing me to get a different style dress than everyone else, its a materninty dress. The lady at David's Bridal suggested I get a size 14. I really wanted to just go with a size 12, but the price was the same for both and they can always take the dress in. Looking at the inside of the dress you can tell how much fabric they would have to work with if you need it let out, its not usually much. You want to make sure you are going to be comfortable, you are in it all day/night.

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  • image TCsbride:

    Honestly, I would back out of being in the wedding all together. I understand it may be important to you and the bride, but a week before your due it REALLY iffy.

    I completley agree with this. I am in a wedding 5 weeks before my due date, and I know THATS going to be hard. I would back out of a wedding that was just a week before.

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  • image jgal84:

    I would back out of the wedding, if I were you. The bride is counting on you to be a part of her wedding, and chances are very good that you won't be able to be in it. Then, she will either stress about having an uneven number of attendants or trying to find someone else at the last minute.


    If this is your issue, you've got a crappy friend, and you don't need to be in her wedding anyway.

    Seriously, my friend could not have been more accommodating. If I can't make it, she doesn't have a back-up.  Of course, she is also not a bridezilla.

  • image hhpd2009:
    image jgal84:

    I would back out of the wedding, if I were you. The bride is counting on you to be a part of her wedding, and chances are very good that you won't be able to be in it. Then, she will either stress about having an uneven number of attendants or trying to find someone else at the last minute.


    If this is your issue, you've got a crappy friend, and you don't need to be in her wedding anyway.

    Seriously, my friend could not have been more accommodating. If I can't make it, she doesn't have a back-up.  Of course, she is also not a bridezilla.

    THANK YOU for saying this!! The people who are saying to back out of the wedding astound me!! Besides, there is SO much more to being a BM in the months leading up to the wedding than just standing there the day of. If you aren't able to make it to the actual wedding for whatever reason, it is not a federal issue. Just have one girl walk with 2 guys...bam! Problem solved!  Backing out of my SiL's wedding in August was NEVER a thought that crossed my mind. Making sure my pregnancy didn't cause her any additional planning/stress was my priority.

    To those suggesting she wait as long as possible to buy the dress...a lot of the time you need to order the dresses  months ahead of time. So I'm not sure how long she can hold out.

    OP, just talk to your bride...see what she wants to do. Chances are she's not completely unreasonable that she would make you feel like you should just back out now.

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  • The bride knows I am pregnant and dresses HAVE to be ordered by this week to be here on time according to the bridal shop.  Unfortunately due to the detail and color of the dress matching the color would be next to impossible and the designer does not offer maternity sizes.  After speaking with the bride she says it is up to me but she would still like me to be a part of the day and if I can't make it or feel too shitty to walk down the aisle, so be it.  She is not worried about messed up program order or who walks with who so we're not dealing with a bridezilla here.  Thanks for all the advice so far, I'll take any advice/opinions I can get!
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