Baby Showers

How many of you threw your own baby shower?

I'm a military wife and as such is getting a baby shower thrown for me back home in Idaho (Yay!), but a lot of my friends here on base want me to throw a baby shower for them to buy stuff for me and give to me but none of them are close enough or really have the time to do it themselves, is it weird that I just want to do it myself and not ask someone else to do it? Any suggestions on throwing it? How many of you did the same thing and threw your own baby shower?
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Re: How many of you threw your own baby shower?

  • Tacky with a capitol T.

    Host a meet the baby party for when the baby is here. You can celebrate the baby and not come off as gift grabby.

    A lot of years and a million tears finally led me to you.
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    My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
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  • For the record, people on here HATE the concept of throwing your own shower. 
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  • Very tacky! Do not throw your own baby shower. If no one offers you don't have one. If they want to give you a gift without throwing you a shower they can. But hosting your own shower is in very bad taste.
  • image krissyh21:

    Tacky with a capitol T.

    Host a meet the baby party for when the baby is here. You can celebrate the baby and not come off as gift grabby.

    This.

  • image SweetSpiller:
    a lot of my friends here on base want me to throw a baby shower for them to buy stuff for me and give to me but none of them are close enough or really have the time to do it themselves
    Apaprently they feel differently since they have (presumably) offered to host a shower for you. By all means, go ahead and accept their gracious offer.
  • don't throw your own.  Next time a friend on base asks about your baby shower share that no one on base has offered to plan it, maybe she will step up.

    Otherwsie, have a "welcome baby" open house after the baby is born.

    And have a blast at your shower at home!  

  • Don't throw your own shower, whatever the reason.  It's ok to have a "meet the baby" afterwards, and if people are inclined to bring gifts, they can.

    If people want to buy you gifts, but not throw you a shower, they will just give you the gifts.  (For eample, every time an out of town relative visits my family, they come bearing gifts for my 2 year old niece.  Some are still meeting her for the first time.  They weren't invited to a shower but magically knew that they could just hand my sister a gift!) 

    If someone says oh, where are you registered, when is your shower, you can explain that you aren't having one on base and you are having one with your family out of state.  If that spurs someone to throw you a shower, that's fine.

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  • Ok I get that its very bad to throw your baby shower can anyone answer why?

     I'm not really doing it for the getting gifts part,

    so much as the games, and the cupcakes and the fun part of it, I really want to at least help with it, its my first baby and out of our group of marine wives I'm the first to have a baby so I kind of want to at least have some say in it lol.

    Since I haven't been to or around a lot of baby showers I'm having a hard time understanding why its so bad to do it myself. I can see not wanting to seem gift grabby but I just want to have a fun time before the baby wears me out with my girls.

     I don't know when/I'll be back to base after the baby is born since my hubby gets out of the marine corp only a month after that, I thought of a baby meet and greet too but I would just be back for a short visit and probably to tired to really have/be any fun.

     oh and while writing this I was talking to a friend I work with about it and she may take over as official hostess, according to HER I'm not suppose have to pay for it, there are a lot of rules to baby showers! A whole new game I never knew of....Does anybody who is very experience have a blog about baby shower etiquette that we can put a link up on this?

  • I totally understand where you are coming from.  I too, am a military spouse currently living overseas, and I was wondering the SAME THING!  My close girlfriends can't exactly fly to Italy to throw me a shower, and my "friends" here are really just wives of the guys my husband works with, so it's difficult to gauge whether or not they would throw one for me.  I know they would all come and bring gifts or whatever, I just don't know if we're close enough for any of them to take the initiative. 

     

  • image tlacroix2:

    I totally understand where you are coming from.  I too, am a military spouse currently living overseas, and I was wondering the SAME THING!  My close girlfriends can't exactly fly to Italy to throw me a shower, and my "friends" here are really just wives of the guys my husband works with, so it's difficult to gauge whether or not they would throw one for me.  I know they would all come and bring gifts or whatever, I just don't know if we're close enough for any of them to take the initiative. 

     

     

    Italy? awesome! If I was on of your friend (and had money) I  would be all over flying out there, throwing a baby shower would just be the excuse lol

    I was kind of asking for each one just to help with something she's good at, we're all married to lower ranking enlisted so money can be a problem but this way I'm not letting one pay for more than she can handle, does that sound like a good idea? Maybe you can do the same.  I think its hard for non-military to understand where we are coming from on this because they don't get uprooted every other to start making friends all over again.

  • Have a party after your LO is born.  They can give you the gifts then.

    The reason you don't throw your own (for the other pp) is because baby SHOWER means giving gifts "showering with gifts".  It is extremely poor taste to host a party JUST to receive gifts and that is what a shower is.  It is basically the same as setting up a fundraiser for yourself and running it yourself.  kwim?

  • image SweetSpiller:

    Ok I get that its very bad to throw your baby shower can anyone answer why?

     

    Because you are the guest of honor at your shower. Meaning people are celebrating you and your impending motherhood. Also, showers are meant to shower the mother with gifts. So whether you want gifts or not, that is what you are implying when you have a shower.

    So if you want to celebrate your baby - you can have a meet the baby after the baby is born so he/she can be the guest of honor.

    A lot of years and a million tears finally led me to you.
    After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
    My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
    <a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
  • image SweetSpiller:
     

     oh and while writing this I was talking to a friend I work with about it and she may take over as official hostess,

    I think this might be your best bet.  You can fund it while she hosts it.  This will help you with people who think you might be tacky. 

    I've had this situation with friends before.  They have huge families and want everyone to be invited, but understand that they can't expect their hosts to pay for everyhing.  So the parents-to-be pay for the bulk of it: food, location while the "hosts" take care of games, invites, small prizes, dessert - which can all bre relatively inexpensive if you get creative: games on photocopied paper, print at home invites or evites if it's a casual affair, nice chocolates / small lotions as prizes and cookies and fruit for dessert.  HTH. :)

  • IMO If you want a party have a party! If it bothers some to call it a baby shower, call it a before baby comes party or something. I've never really been that into etiquette. I helped with all my wedding showers and I liked being involved. If you want to have a party, go for it.
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  • image jazzyexpo:
    IMO If you want a party have a party! If it bothers some to call it a baby shower, call it a before baby comes party or something. I've never really been that into etiquette. I helped with all my wedding showers and I liked being involved. If you want to have a party, go for it.
  • image jazzyexpo:
    IMO If you want a party have a party! If it bothers some to call it a baby shower, call it a before baby comes party or something. I've never really been that into etiquette. I helped with all my wedding showers and I liked being involved. If you want to have a party, go for it.

     

    Yeah I think I've pretty much came to that conclusion, to please the nit pickers I'll call it a pre baby birth party on here. Lol, I don't really expect to get "showered" with gifts anyways, just food and laughs, but I do think we'll have a lot of fun!

    It works better than a baby open house because we'll get to play games, I won't be so tired, I'll be able to plan for it since I probably won't bring the baby down right away since Peanut is due in August and Idk how many of you have experienced a 29 Palms summer but we're basically right by Death Valley, and it isn't the time to be driving through the Mojave with a newborn to go show it off.  Today in April its 80, last in August and September it was often over 100.

  • image krissyh21:

    Tacky with a capitol T.

    Host a meet the baby party for when the baby is here. You can celebrate the baby and not come off as gift grabby.

    Agreed!!!

  • Omg totally off topic but I just realized you're in Twentynine Palms.. I used to be with someone in the marine corps on that base. This is probably unlikely, but do you know Marcus and Stephanie Smith? He's a Cpl I think, don't remember what platoon, but his wife is my best friend lol. I was with this Lcpl with last name Manning in Echo company. Lol just thought that was crazy seeing someone from Twentynine Palms.
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  • image KelsoXOXO:
    Omg totally off topic but I just realized you're in Twentynine Palms.. I used to be with someone in the marine corps on that base. This is probably unlikely, but do you know Marcus and Stephanie Smith? He's a Cpl I think, don't remember what platoon, but his wife is my best friend lol. I was with this Lcpl with last name Manning in Echo company. Lol just thought that was crazy seeing someone from Twentynine Palms.

     

    No I don't its a big base lol but I'll keep a look out, do you know who he is with and what his mos is? i might know some one who knows them lol

  • Just an FYI.  Most people hate shower games. 
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  • image robinsokj:
    Just an FYI.  Most people hate shower games. 

     Seriously.

  • robinsokj...I don't agree with you about the shower games.  Quite frankly I have been to many, many showers since I'm quite a bit older than any of you on here and "most" people actually like them.  On here...a lot of people won't admit it because they think they are old fashioned or whatever...but in reality most people DO like shower games.  They seem to break the ice so to speak.  I was talking about this very subject with a couple of friends (who happen to be much younger than I am) and they don't even know anyone IRL that doesn't like the games.  lol  Obviously if you are having a shower with/for your friends and they all tell you they hate shower games then don't have any.  But if you have people there who don't know anyone...then maybe have one or two.  It is extremely boring going to a shower where you only know the guest of honor and/or the grandma-to-be and there are no games.  Been there - done that.
  • image danilynn17:

    image robinsokj:
    Just an FYI.  Most people hate shower games. 

     Seriously.

     

    Not my people, everybody's been "you have to have this one, and this one and this one" and if they really hate them, they don't have to come.

  • image hopefulmom:
    robinsokj...I don't agree with you about the shower games.  Quite frankly I have been to many, many showers since I'm quite a bit older than any of you on here and "most" people actually like them.  On here...a lot of people won't admit it because they think they are old fashioned or whatever...but in reality most people DO like shower games.  They seem to break the ice so to speak.  I was talking about this very subject with a couple of friends (who happen to be much younger than I am) and they don't even know anyone IRL that doesn't like the games.  lol  Obviously if you are having a shower with/for your friends and they all tell you they hate shower games then don't have any.  But if you have people there who don't know anyone...then maybe have one or two.  It is extremely boring going to a shower where you only know the guest of honor and/or the grandma-to-be and there are no games.  Been there - done that.

     That's what I've seen in the very limited showers I've been too. Plus the games seem to be the whole reason everyone wants to go to the party! we've been making the list of them and we're going to have to narrow it down to the very best ones...

  • At one of my showers, where there was around 50 people, it was like pulling teeth to get anyone to participate.  But, at my smaller shower (my friends shower) those people were more than willing participants.  I think it depends on the crowd.  My younger guests were more willing.  But, a majority of people who were at my showers had no desire to play. 
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  • image jazzyexpo:
    IMO If you want a party have a party! If it bothers some to call it a baby shower, call it a before baby comes party or something. I've never really been that into etiquette. I helped with all my wedding showers and I liked being involved. If you want to have a party, go for it.

    I agree.  If you want to throw your own shower, go ahead. If anyone thinks its unbearably tacky they wont come, or they wont bring you a gift.  I mean, worse case scenario someone might gossip behind your back that you're a tacky pregnant women...and life will go on.  Though i think its much more likely that everyone will show up and be happy to celebrate and join in welcoming you new baby.

    DH and i are already planning to throw ourselves a shower, so you can rest assured that you're not the only one committing a baby shower sin.

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  • image InfinityDreamer:

    image jazzyexpo:
    IMO If you want a party have a party! If it bothers some to call it a baby shower, call it a before baby comes party or something. I've never really been that into etiquette. I helped with all my wedding showers and I liked being involved. If you want to have a party, go for it.

    I agree.  If you want to throw your own shower, go ahead. If anyone thinks its unbearably tacky they wont come, or they wont bring you a gift.  I mean, worse case scenario someone might gossip behind your back that you're a tacky pregnant women...and life will go on.  Though i think its much more likely that everyone will show up and be happy to celebrate and join in welcoming you new baby.

    DH and i are already planning to throw ourselves a shower, so you can rest assured that you're not the only one committing a baby shower sin.

     

    Lol baby shower sin, I like that! ha ha.  let me know if you have any ideas on the best way to do it let me know lol and I will share mine with you. I think I have a lot a friends that can do parts but the whole task is just to daunting for them so I'm just asking them to do parts. One is a awesome cook so she's in charge of finger foods, one is helping me get decor etc...

    I really like doing it this way because nobody spends to much or gets to stressed and I think it will better in the end. 

  • I don't think theres any problem with throwing your own shower. Many people on here think its tacky but if you want to have a party to celebrate your upcoming baby then why not. In my case, I'm the first of all my friends to be pregnant and am pretty new to my area being in the military. The girls I have met will definitely come to my shower but haven't offered to really "host" it.

     If you want a party for your first child-have it, plan it and you will be happy you did!

  • image freshlife:

    I don't think theres any problem with throwing your own shower. Many people on here think its tacky but if you want to have a party to celebrate your upcoming baby then why not. In my case, I'm the first of all my friends to be pregnant and am pretty new to my area being in the military. The girls I have met will definitely come to my shower but haven't offered to really "host" it.

     If you want a party for your first child-have it, plan it and you will be happy you did!

     

    thank you! I understand how hard it is doing this kind of thing when you're in the military!  I'm kind of in the same boat being the first to get pregnant out of the ones here in 29, which makes sense since I'm also the oldest.

  • image freshlife:

    I don't think theres any problem with throwing your own shower. Many people on here think its tacky but if you want to have a party to celebrate your upcoming baby then why not. In my case, I'm the first of all my friends to be pregnant and am pretty new to my area being in the military. The girls I have met will definitely come to my shower but haven't offered to really "host" it.

     If you want a party for your first child-have it, plan it and you will be happy you did!

     

    thank you! I understand how hard it is doing this kind of thing when you're in the military!  I'm kind of in the same boat being the first to get pregnant out of the ones here in 29, which makes sense since I'm also the oldest.

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