Babies: 9 - 12 Months

XP: Anyone use a mix of daycare and grandparents?

DH and I have LO being watched by my mother, MIL and step-MIL one day a week each and daycare the other 2 days every week.  MIL just offered to watch LO 3 days a week so we don't have to take her to daycare until she gets a little older.  Her offer has so many pros and cons and now that I am rethinking LO's care all over again, I am starting to second guess our decision to have grandparents watch her at all.  I am really torn between the choice we already made, having her with grandparents every day even if it is a mix of the 3 moms, or just having her in daycare 5 days a week.

Have any of you had any sort of similar mix of care for LO during the week?  Is this totally going to mess her up later on because she won't have one routine every day?

TIA!

Re: XP: Anyone use a mix of daycare and grandparents?

  • I do. And I'm in the same boat as you. I don't know what to do.... I don't think its going to 'mess' anything up later- for me its more of a question of what is better for her now.  I wonder if the consistancy that daycare provides will help her. She also has seperation anxiety really bad right now, so I wonder if her never knowing where she is going and who she is going to be with is adding to it.  I'm looking for similar answers! 

    :waits and watches:  

  • I'm glad I'm not the only one!  I like our daycare (so far, today is her first day but I trust them). 

    The things I like about daycare: consistency, the schedule, the activities that will help with her development, the social aspect. 

    The things I like about the moms: they're family, they are so good with her in terms of keeping her happy, well fed, etc., they are not the best with putting her down to nap, doing tummy time, thinking long term), she gets the one-on-one attention.

    I am so torn if consistency is more important than family attention.  And would cutting out daycare and having the 3 moms watch her be enough consistency?  Ugh.

  • while i don't have the option of grandparents watching LO while dh and i work (she's w/ dh m-t-w and dc th-fr), my niece is watched by my brother's mil while and he and my sil work. come september, they're going to be sending my niece to dc 4 days a week. they want her to have a more regular routine AND there's a socialization aspect that she's missing out on by being housebound w/ grandma 4 days/wk.

    i'm not a stickler for routines as we let dd lead her own routine and she's fallen into her own pattern that she follows whether she's at home or dc.

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  • We do both also- two days she's with my mom, three days she's at daycare and babysitting is his mom.  It works well- she gets the best of everything. My mom tried to do the same thing- she wanted to watch her full time and I said no- she's retired and I told her she should be able to enjoy her retirement.  Secondly, I think the socialization at daycare is really good for our daughter- she really seems to enjoy it there.  You really have to decide what you feel is best for her and follow that decision. If you have misgivings about taking her out of daycare, maybe thats telling you something.  You have to feel good about it or you will constantly be second guessing yourself. Also- I don't think that the change in routine will mess her up- she'll learn to associate each place with it's different routine.  Kids are surprisingly adaptable. Good luck! 
  • My DD goes to a DCP 3 days a week and my parents 2 days a week. It really hasn't been an issue. In fact, she has thrived because she gets a nice balance of one on one time and has a few days to interact with other babies.
  • image Bubbalini:

    I'm glad I'm not the only one!  I like our daycare (so far, today is her first day but I trust them). 

    The things I like about daycare: consistency, the schedule, the activities that will help with her development, the social aspect. 

    The things I like about the moms: they're family, they are so good with her in terms of keeping her happy, well fed, etc., they are not the best with putting her down to nap, doing tummy time, thinking long term), she gets the one-on-one attention.

    I am so torn if consistency is more important than family attention.  And would cutting out daycare and having the 3 moms watch her be enough consistency?  Ugh.

    I just noticed that your LO is only 3months.  I think, at her age, she benfits more from the one-one-one.  When she gets older (my LO is 9 months) is when things like play, and development become important. And I'm not even sure that its quite that important yet. I say, at her age, let GM watch her!  When she gets older, then think about DC.  At DC she probably sits in a bouncer or similar a lot of the day.... (though I'm sure your DC is good)

  • M- both are at my sisters T- Both are at MILs W-F #2 at MILs and #1 at DC.
    Starting in May both will be at DC W-F.  I like the personalization of family ( and cheapness) but I love the socalization of DC. I have a neice who is 18 months that has never been to DC and I can tell how far off she is from where #1 was at her age. ........ Also, #1 had a way to strong attachment to MIL, due to spending so much time with her, it broke my heart when she would rather her than me, we're past that now, but I do not plan on going through that again.

  • We had now 9 mo old LO in full-time daycare from 3 mos on but he went to MIL one day per week (except when she wasn't available).  I wanted her to watch him if she wanted to and I also liked the idea of one-on-one time, but it was really a disaster for us.  The one day seemed to cause a big disruption to his routine and plenty of days he had problems at her house and also when he came home, which was upsetting and exhausting for me, especially since we were paying for full-time daycare.  Plus, my MIL is very disorganized and also seemed resentful about giving me any information on his napping, eating, etc.  We had a great relationship pre-baby that will probably never be the same.

    We have since hired one of his daycare teachers as our nanny and it is amazing how much better he rests and gets along at our home.  MIL will babysit for a few hours on the weekend or during an evening and we have told her she can visit him or relieve the nanny or whatever.

    This has taught me that there is something to be said for paid help.  You know your LO best.  At least for us and LO, I think it is going to be much better to have MIL as an occasional babysitter than a daily caregiver. 

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