Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Sleep when the baby does.....

I am so sick of hearing this from everyone and their moms. Whenever anyone asks me how I am doing, I always basically say "I'm good, just a little tired" And 90% of the time, their response is ultimately "you have to sleep when the baby sleeps!" Ugggggh!

They don't understand when Lily is sound asleep I have to eat, shower, feed the cats, go to the bathroom, clean and prepare bottles for next feeding etc... How the hell can I sleep every single time she does? Impossible. There is always something I need to do. Plus, it's usually the people with no kids that always say this.

Do you hear this a lot from people?

Sorry if I sound whiny I just need to let out a little steam tonight, and I feel better! Thanks for hearing me out. Big Smile

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Re: Sleep when the baby does.....

  • I hear it from everyone and I have tried ,but unfortunately it just doesn't always work out like that. I usually wait until my hubby gets home from work to squeeze in some sleep and on his days off is when I really catch up.

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  • Amen to that!  I hear the same thing all the time. 
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  • I hear it from a certain checker every time I go to the grocery store. I have to remind her the car ride put DS to sleep. I agree though, if I slept every time he was sleeping I would get nothing done. Now that he is sleeping 4 to 5 hour stretches I don't feel exhausted anymore either. I don't think I have napped since DH went back to work.
  • I do have a regular naptime in the morning after her 6am feed and before her midmorning feed but it doesn't always happen.

    Sometimes I'm busy and sometimes I just can't catch sleep.

    I agree it's the ones who say it in the a singsong voice like it's the easiest thing in the world. 

    Elizabeth 3yrs old Jane 1yr old

  • Not really, but I don't think I really comment on being tired.


    image Lucy, 12/27/2009
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  • YES......even my DH tries to tell me this crap! lol I say "Fine then get me a maid, a dog walker, a chef, a launderer, and a chaffeur........oh yah and an accountant!"

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  • I think it's great advice and have tried to get my toddler on board.  For some reason she doesn't want to nap a bunch of times every day!
  • That is one of the most annoying things people say!
  • lol - let me guess - it also annoyed you back when you were pregnant and countless well-meaning people warned you that you should get all the sleep you can now, before the baby arrives.....
  • I HATE hearing that... DH still doesn't undestand how impossible that is, and DD is almost 12 weeks old! lol

    I was talking to DD at my dr.'s appointment the other day, and she was sooo sleepy. So I said something like, "you can take a nap when we get home. And maybe mommy will too." And the nurse was like, "yeah, that's smart to sleep when she does." And I was thinking... because my other option is to sleep when she's wide awake??

    Stupid people...

  • Yes and in the early days, I did it as much as I could!  He'd eat and fall asleep, I'd grab a yogurt and head to bed! 

    Now, I stay up a lot more but still try to take at least one nap

  • Unfortunately it's just one of those things that people will constantly repeat over and over. Wait until you have 2+ and they STILL keep telling you that. Ummmm, when they are on opposite napping schedules it don't work. LOL.

    I just smile and nod at this point. More out of habit ;)

  • DD has severe reflux. This (used to) equalled poor sleep habits. When they would tell me to sleep when the baby sleeps, I used to respond with," Can you get her to sleep for me? But since she sleeps in 20 minute intervals, I can't. Oh, and I have anxieties about sleeping, but thanks."
  • I would if it didn't take me an hour or more to fall asleep! Plus if I take a nap, it has to be for at least 4 hours, or I feel worse.

  • image woolgathered:
    I would if it didn't take me an hour or more to fall asleep! Plus if I take a nap, it has to be for at least 4 hours, or I feel worse.
    I can relate to this big time.
  • UGH! Yes! I hate this!  I'm working form home during maternity, and to get the house and myself clean, when are those several naps supposed to fit in?

    Obnoxious, yes!

  • Yeah, it no fail works out that when I actually can take a nap, he doesn't sleep long enough for me to fall asleep.  Otherwise, I tend to lay on the couch and just wait for his cry - getting no real rest.

    The only way I can get at least one somewhat consistent nap is to do skin to skin time with him for a few hours after my husband leaves for work.  But I consider that part of our night's sleep.  Otherwise I'd only be getting 4 hours some nights.

    Lucas Arlo - 2/26/10, Cordelia Jane - 1/20/12 
    #3 is due 8/27/14

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  • image woolgathered:
    I would if it didn't take me an hour or more to fall asleep! Plus if I take a nap, it has to be for at least 4 hours, or I feel worse.

    Omg yes! If I actually do take a nap when the baby is sleeping and she wakes an hour into my nap...I feel 10 times worse. I definitely need at least 4 hours for me to feel refreshed.

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  • Feeding the cats might take about 2 minutes at most, going the bathroom maybe 5, shower could be 10....I think there is plenty of time to still catch a cat nap.


  • I hate when people say that.  It would be great to do that except for the fact that DD seems to know when I am going to try and catch a nap when she's sleeping because those are ALWAYS the times that she wakes up and wants to be held.  Otherwise if I'm trying to shower, eat, or do some cleaning she'll just sleep no problems. 
    From miscarriages, a diagnosis of a bicornuate uterus, and fibroid removal surgery...It's been quite the journey but it was all well worth it. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I heard it from everyone.

    I don't think they mean sleep every time the baby sleeps, but give yourself a break one of those times she naps and nap with her. I'm using DD's current nap to Nest, eat, and take a shower, but will probably sleep when she does this afternoon.

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    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
  • image jenny1980:

    Not really, but I don't think I really comment on being tired.



    I just had to comment on your baby's picture - ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!! so precious! and I love your timeline that says "happily drinking beer again since..." I'm so excited to stop pumping/nursing to have a few cocktails ;) 

  • yes!! I hear that ALL OF THE TIME and you're right. It's just not that simple. I don't think saying you're "a little tired" is complaining - it's just a fact that we're all trying to get used to a little less sleep than we're used to! When my son was born, I was able to get a nap in after his morning feeding - it was no 3-4 hour nap, but it felt good! I used his long afternoon nap to clean up the kitchen, do some laundry, take dinner out, shower, etc etc! It's all just an adjustment and I've made a mental note never to make this suggestion to my friends! haha!
  • Recently I have given mothers the same advice but truthfully. I do let them know that is practically impossible to sleep when the baby sleep. So the times the baby is sleep do chores. I am on baby number four and have learned that if the baby is on a schedule you will be able to know what you can accomplish during what nap times. Keep the schedule simple so you still have energy for your bundle of joy when they wake up.

    You are right everyone that has told me that was not a parent.

    It is hard, but worth it!

    Congratulations to all new mommies!

  • What I did to make sure I got all the sleep needed with my first (and this only works with #1) is that we would be up every three hours to eat which took an hour, then she would go back to sleep for 3 hours, well I would do this up down up down until I got a total or 8-9 hours of sleep.  Many days I would not get put of bed until 11 in order to get in those 8 hours.  But giving up those early morning hours in exchange for sleep made me more productive and a nicer wife.  As hard as it is the laundry can wait, you will get more done if you are rested. 
  • Yep, that's a constant reply from most people including my girlfriend who has 2 kids. Everyone's different with different chores around the house and different lifestyles.  Rest assured your little Lily will eventually sleep long enough at night for you to get a decent rest.  That doesn't mean you won't always feel a little tired because as Mom's we've taken on a whole other career--one that never ends. LOL

    My little Jackson is 3 months and he's started to sleep about 10 hours a night.  Knowing that I can now schedule when to go to bed myself and when I need to get up the next morning.

    Love everyone's cute photos!

  • But how do you get them on a schedule???  Seriously my baby is not receptive to a schedule..........I think it is cause she is breastfed?  I hear that formula fed babies are easier to schedule? Due to knowing how much food they get and slower digestion of idea if that is true or if I just have a fussy baby.
  • Everybody has told me this too. My son is 3 weeks old today. I definatly agree with you. It's not that easy. Eating, showering, cleaning, functioning at all kind of gets in the way of that. I might get one nap it, if he feels like sleeping at the right time of day. I'm not naping at 9 in the morning or 3 in the afternoon. it's gonna be around noon....otherwise you cant get anything else done.

    It seems like some women forget. 

  • I hear that and I'm still pregnant!!!!! Whatever, I just pretty much smile and nod whenever somebody gives me advice anyways... Everybody has an opinion for pregnant people and people with babies!
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