Babies: 3 - 6 Months

Sams Post got me thinking...

I am not making a statement about CIO or not.  Reading that post got me thinking...about "distrusting".  Is it so bad?  I was a very trusting person(too trusting) and let me tell you, the real world came as a real shock.  You can't trust everyone. There are a lot of people in this world that will screw you and treat you badly.  Of course you don't want it to the other extreme either.  You want your LO to be able to trust some people and develop bonds, especially with you, the parents.  Anyway, I know this is pretty random...but it just got me thinking.   Sorry.  

Re: Sams Post got me thinking...

  • I can see what you're saying.  But I hope my babe can trust me and feel attached to me (not that that has anything to do with if we CIO or not), but I would hate to think that in order for her not to be walked on that she has to be "distrusting". 

    I live by the philosophy that people are generally good until they prove otherwise.  I am pretty trusting and open until someone screws me and then they have to prove they can be trusted again- KWIM? 

  • I definitely understand what you're saying but I want my kids to always trust that I'll be there...they can be weary of other people, but I want them to KNOW I'll always be there.
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  • I totally understand what you both are saying...that is why I wrote the section about trusting your parents and developing a good relationship.  I also am not talking about CIO.  I don't really have an opinion about that either way.

     I just wish there was a way of creating both within my son.  I want him to be trusting of certain people, open to love, develop healthy relationships.  However, I want to protect him from as much hurt as possible and let him not be as blindly trusting as I once was.

  • I didn't read that post, but I have a hard time with the thought that even though you can't spoil a baby, you can hinder their ability to trust by not responding to all their cries at such a young age.... I can't see how that can happen.... If they aren't old enough to associate you responding to their every cry then how can they make the correlation that you not responding equals them not having a reliable parent? Nobody has to agree with me and many can flame away, that's fine. I know when my kid is crying and stops as soon as I walk in, that he realizes the cause and affect of his crying at this age.
  • image Mandy613:
    I didn't read that post, but I have a hard time with the thought that even though you can't spoil a baby, you can hinder their ability to trust by not responding to all their cries at such a young age.... I can't see how that can happen.... If they aren't old enough to associate you responding to their every cry then how can they make the correlation that you not responding equals them not having a reliable parent? Nobody has to agree with me and many can flame away, that's fine. I know when my kid is crying and stops as soon as I walk in, that he realizes the cause and affect of his crying at this age.

    This is an excellent argument.  

    And to OP, my parents were both police officers.  I knew about the shady side of the world and heard about it all the time.  Even having that unique upbringing, I still lived a sheltered life.  I got taken for a ride all too often and trusted when I probably shouldn't have.  I think it's part of growing up.  You learn when to trust and when to be more guarded.  Do your best to love your child and teach, but I'm not sure you can avoid the type of naiveity you're describing--and I'm not sure you would want to, completely.  There are important lessons to be learned in being taken for a ride every now and then.

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