Baby Names

Name a boy after his father?

We're not pregnant yet, but we've been talking about names (we're planners) and my husband really wants to name our first boy after himself, which I can't stand. I cannot imagine naming a baby after his father for a plethora of reasons - when I call out the name, who answers? What if, heaven forbid, we get divorced somewhere down the road and I still have to call my son my husband's name??

I just don't want to name my <potential> boy after my husband - so much so that I'm praying for only girls. My husband is the third in line of his name, but different middle names, so he's not "the third" and our son would not be "the fourth" - but "Junior." Something else I can't stand. This is something that my family pointedly DOESN'T do, and something his family definitely does. Where do you draw the line?

Someone else must've run into this. Please help!

Re: Name a boy after his father?

  • FIL = Thomas A

    DH= Thomas B

    My husband and his family want a son (if we have one) to be named Thomas C. I am 100% with you. I HATE this idea.  I don't "get" the whole naming everyone in the family one name.  I personally think it is stupid and robs the child somewhat of their own identity because they become Big Tom, Little Tom, Tommy etc. 

    So I just made an annoucement that "Thomas C" was off the table and I would not even consider it.  Did I hurt my MIL feelings?  Maybe....  Did I hurt my husband's feelings?  Maybe..... 

    But did I save my child a lifetime of anguish?  YES!  ....and that is all that matters Big Smile

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  • How about you cross that bridge when you get there? You may not ever have a boy. Why worry about it now?

    I'm telling you this because I stressed over baby names when I didn't even know what I was having. I thought about it all day every day and after I found out I was having a boy, I realized that I wasted my time even thinking about a girl name.

  • So that's all, you said it was off the table? Wow... I'm impressed! :) I've tried saying that in the past but I feel like my husband "thinks I'll come around" and I admit that I keep thinking he'll eventually see things my way, as well.

    People still refer to my huband as "Little <his name>" and I cringe every time. I keep thinking they'll call my son "Little Little <name>" or something equally horrific.

    Glad to know I'm not crazy! Thank you so much!

  • This is the way it is in DH's sister's family. 

    Her FIL = John G. Sr. (goes by Jack)

    Her husband = John G. Jr. (goes by John) 

    Her first son = John G. III (goes by Jack)

    So there's "Big Jack" and "Little Jack", even though "Little Jack" is 18 years old now and about 2 feet taller than "Big Jack".  If "Little Jack" has a son one day, it's pretty much expected that he will name him John G. IV and call him John.  And so on.  I think it's silly.  SIL was basically told that she had no say in the naming of her first son because of this tradition. 

    I wouldn't do it if I were you, but I guess that's something you and your husband will have to work out.  And like a previous poster said - don't sweat about it NOW!

  • children should have their own names not someone elses. IMO
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  • I totally get the family MIDDLE name traditions, but way to steal a kid's identify before they even have a chance by giving them a family first name.... bleh. I would never do it.  We have a family middle name on DH's side but I want to use my brother's first name as a boy's middle name - the kid gets DH's family name, why shouldn't part of the name reflect my family? So we're doing that with our first boy if we have one.  If we were to have another boy, we'd use the family middle name for him for sure.  I like it, but I am not willing to give up on including a special name from my side of the family first.  
  • I agree with this wholeheartedly. Why should the kid be ONLY named after his father's family? What about me and my family - I'm the one who is pregnant for nine months, carrying him! :) I think that will be my compromise - my husband can have the middle name and do whatever he likes with it. But the first name will be the baby's OWN name!
  • To me, it seems like a very arrogant thing to do.  "Look at me!  I'm so manly that I can father a son!!"

    IMO, A kid should be named for him/herself, not some relative.

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  • It's an insurance nightmare. If you're going to do it at least change the middle name so it's not exactly the same
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  • We keep going 'round and 'round on this same subject.  My DH is John W the FIFTH!  He feels like he has to keep with tradition and name any future son John W.  I hate this tradition and I really, really dislike the name John!  It is so boring!!

    I think you just have to keep discussing it.  My hubby is finally starting to consider other male names.  :)

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  • image Alli318:
    I agree with this wholeheartedly. Why should the kid be ONLY named after his father's family? What about me and my family - I'm the one who is pregnant for nine months, carrying him! :) I think that will be my compromise - my husband can have the middle name and do whatever he likes with it. But the first name will be the baby's OWN name!

    This irks the crap out of me as well.  Last time I checked, the MOTHER is the one doing all the heavy lifting here, so naming a child AFTER the father makes absolutely no sense to me.  I understand that some women abide by family tradition, and that's fine for them, but for me?  If I was in a situation where I was expected to name my child after the father, well, let's just say we'd be stating a whole new family tradition called "name the baby something else."

  • I'm with you.  I can't stand the thought of having a boy and naming him after my husband or calling him Junior.  Ugh...no way!  Thankfully, my husband doesn't have any desire to do so, but if he did, we would not be in agreement.
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  • I'm not a fan of the Jr. thing either. If we ever have a boy, I like the idea of using my husband's first or middle name as our son's middle name.

  • image MrsBNDO:

    image Alli318:
    I agree with this wholeheartedly. Why should the kid be ONLY named after his father's family? What about me and my family - I'm the one who is pregnant for nine months, carrying him! :) I think that will be my compromise - my husband can have the middle name and do whatever he likes with it. But the first name will be the baby's OWN name!

    This irks the crap out of me as well.  Last time I checked, the MOTHER is the one doing all the heavy lifting here, so naming a child AFTER the father makes absolutely no sense to me.  I understand that some women abide by family tradition, and that's fine for them, but for me?  If I was in a situation where I was expected to name my child after the father, well, let's just say we'd be stating a whole new family tradition called "name the baby something else."

     All of this!!! I hate it when people name their kids after their father, just because it is a tradition. I for one do not give a rat's hiney about tradition. What's the point?? It screams unoriginal, and seems to create quite the mess legally. Stand up for yourself...you should agree on a name, don't settle because it's important to everyone else. It should be important to you, too.

  • My husband is a Jr. and really doesn't like it so that's something to consider. He'd rather have his own identity but also would like to not constnatly have to add that little "Jr." to everything. It's a perfectly good, normal name (Thomas) - that's not the problem - and he has a great relationship with his dad so it's not that either. I think he also wonders why his parents couldn't think of any other name - he doesn't have any brothers so he figures they couldn't come up with even on original boys' name.

    Fortunately for me, since doesn't like being a Jr., he doesn't want to make his son a "III" (the third - sounds pretentious). He would be happy to give Thomas as a middle name, though, so maybe that is something to consider. It honors the name without needing the suffix and still allows the child to have a separate identity.

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  • DH is the third of his family to have the same first name (his grandfather, father and him) but they all have different middle names.  I was really against continuing with this tradition but wanted to somehow name LO after DH. 

    We decided to use DH's middle name as LO's first and DH's first as LO's middle.  We just switched them!  Luckily, DH had a great middle name otherwise this might not have worked either.  And for what its worth, aside from our immediate family members, most don't even realize that's how he got his name.

  • Wow!  Those are some strong opinions on this topic.  I am going to name my baby (if he is a boy) after my DH and all the men in his family for the last 5 generations.  I am not unoriginal and my child will have his own identity. A name doesn't give identity...it is a name. Now, I am not too thrilled with it but this is something we talked about years ago.  I think there are way worse names than Anthony Joseph, so I can't complain too much.  It is a nice strong, classic name.  I am just glad the name isn't Charles or Richard and that my FIL is one of the greatest men I know...  The middle name has alternated each generation so my child will have a different middle name than my DH and will be the third.   Of course, this is all based on whether or not this baby is a boy (we are not finding out).
  • DH is a III but we are not going to name this one the 4th. It has to end sometime! The fourth is a little pretentious, and we don't love the name anyway. Jr. would not work for me. Hopefully your DH won't mind ending the tradition. Maybe you can just pick one of his names as the middle name, as a small nod.
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  • DH is Matthew Curry and he goes by Curry (all of his family goes by their middle name for some reason), LO will be Matthew Cole (and go by Cole). That way we honor DH by using his first name and my family by using Cole. I was very against having a junior, it's just not my style.
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  • If he was 4th in a lineup, I'd hate to be the one to break the tradition. I'm not normally into passing a name down but if it makes it to the 3rd and he wants to do it, I'd roll with it.

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  • image wife1014:
    Wow!  Those are some strong opinions on this topic.  I am going to name my baby (if he is a boy) after my DH and all the men in his family for the last 5 generations.  I am not unoriginal and my child will have his own identity. A name doesn't give identity...it is a name. Now, I am not too thrilled with it but this is something we talked about years ago.  I think there are way worse names than Anthony Joseph, so I can't complain too much.  It is a nice strong, classic name.  I am just glad the name isn't Charles or Richard and that my FIL is one of the greatest men I know...  The middle name has alternated each generation so my child will have a different middle name than my DH and will be the third.   Of course, this is all based on whether or not this baby is a boy (we are not finding out).

     Just wanted to clarify - I am not calling you unoriginal. I was merely conveying how someone in real life in this situation FELT. Not even my own opinion. It's one thing to believe your child's name is not their identity and that they WILL have their own identity. But it's quite another for that same child to end up feeling like they have their own identity - whether you wanted them to or not. I'm sure DH's parents didn't WANT him to feel that way. The point is that even though they never intended that, that is the result. It's not something that would necessarily bother everyone since everybody is different. That's why it is just something to consider.

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  • My dad named his first son after himself. What do we call him? Junior. My family has also run into complications with this due to a family business that my dad owns and that Jr works at. It can bring in some legal complications as well which when you're having a baby you might not expect, but if family ties turn bad it can be Ugly.

     Maybe you could suggest something different. Instead of the future baby having your husband's name and a different middle name what about your husband's name being the child's middle name instead and then you can choose a new name for the first name. So say your husband's name is John Allan Something. The baby could be Michael John Something. It's kind of a backwards compromise and there are No Mor Juniors!

  • image cookieinva:

    image wife1014:
    Wow!  Those are some strong opinions on this topic.  I am going to name my baby (if he is a boy) after my DH and all the men in his family for the last 5 generations.  I am not unoriginal and my child will have his own identity. A name doesn't give identity...it is a name. Now, I am not too thrilled with it but this is something we talked about years ago.  I think there are way worse names than Anthony Joseph, so I can't complain too much.  It is a nice strong, classic name.  I am just glad the name isn't Charles or Richard and that my FIL is one of the greatest men I know...  The middle name has alternated each generation so my child will have a different middle name than my DH and will be the third.   Of course, this is all based on whether or not this baby is a boy (we are not finding out).

     Just wanted to clarify - I am not calling you unoriginal. I was merely conveying how someone in real life in this situation FELT. Not even my own opinion. It's one thing to believe your child's name is not their identity and that they WILL have their own identity. But it's quite another for that same child to end up feeling like they have their own identity - whether you wanted them to or not. I'm sure DH's parents didn't WANT him to feel that way. The point is that even though they never intended that, that is the result. It's not something that would necessarily bother everyone since everybody is different. That's why it is just something to consider.

    After reading this last night, I asked my husband and even called my brother(who is named after my dad).  Neither one of these grown men said they ever felt they weren't their own person with their own identity.  To say that is the result, is a very broad statement and I am sorry your husband grew up feeling that way.  But I venture to say, it was probably a combination of other things and not just that he was named after his father.   As I originally said, I am not too thrilled with naming (a possible son) after my husband but it has nothing to do with any of those thoughts.  I just happen to like so many boys names Wink

  • NO WAY!!  We are not naming our son after my husband.  :)  I think that a kid deserves his or her own name, at least the first.  Maybe the middle name could be after your DH. 
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