My thought is if you aren't pregnant or trying to conceive, then you can't call "dibs" on a name that you may want to use in the future. There are a lot of great names out there and if you aren't planning on having children for several years, you're opinion on what names you like are most likely going to change anyways.
I'm 32 weeks pregnant, and Its so annoying when I discuss names with someone and then they start telling me all the names I CAN'T use because they may want to use it when they have kids 2-3 years from now! I think if you really love a particular name and your not pregnant, then keep it to yourself. If someone close to you ends up using that name, then its because they happen to love the same name and not that they are trying to "steal" your name. This will avoid hurt feelings.
i totally stole my 2nd babys name from my hairdresser! only to have baby name karma kick my butt! an old highschool friend went and named her baby the same name. and yes i ditched my hairdresser after i stole it...bad karma. oh well! i think when you find the perfect name you just know it and all of the names i "thought" i wanted for my kids i never even used so when you know you know and someone is bound to feel that way too!
My aunt did it to my mother with me, my cousin was born a month before me and my aunt chose the name my mother had picked out. Because of that I'm more sensitive. My husband and I loved the name Landon, however, my best friend has had that in her head for "years" so we began looking at other names. On the rude side of it all, a coworker's daughter is due 3 weeks after me and has chosen the same name that my husband and I have settled on. Because we're keeping it a secret until his birth I'm sure she'll think we stole it.
My personal thoughts on this? I wouldn't do it to a family member. Just this week my cousin (that I DO NOT get along with) named her child the same name that I'm naming my daughter in 3 months. How did she get the name? She called our grandmother who is in her 90's and asked her what I was naming my daughter!!! OMG!!!
People hound you until you tell them what you're naming your kid, and I don't enjoy keeping secrets so I don't want to keep the name to myself! I like to share! However, I would be *pissed* if someone stole my name (nothing I wouldn't get over but it would absolutely irritate me!), and I would *never* steal someone else's.
Question: I have had the name Madelyn, Maddie for short, picked out since I was in high school. After I started dating my husband I found out his goddaughter is named MadISON and SHE is called Maddie. We only see this little girl 1-2 times a year and basically just drop gifts off for holidays. (He is the godparent because of a previous engagement). Is it too close for me to name my baby this if we have a girl? I really really have my heart set on it!
Ermm. Well, unless you've come up with a completely unique name that no one has ever heard before, nobody's stealin' nothin'.
And to the gal who gets "pissed" if someone "copies" her haircut...What show or magazine did you find that haircut in?
People, come on! There are wars going on in the world!
Come now, can't you tell that her hair cut is completely original and no one has ever had anything like it before her? I have NEVER seen anyone with dark wavy hair. That just throws me off. I need to go copy it now.
When I got pregnant with #2, we were convinced it was a girl. We have had our girl's name picked out since we were pregnant with the original baby we lost. The name is rather unique so I have little risk of it getting "stolen" if I don't tell people about it, but that's just it...I don't tell people what it is. But for the middle name, we want to use a family name that my sister, years ago, told me she wanted to use. The week of the ultrasound, my DH and I decided for sure that we wanted to use that middle name if it was a girl so I had made the decision that if it was a girl, I would call my sister and ask her for permission to use the middle name...and then call my grandma for permission too! Joke of all jokes, it was a BOY...#2 for us! Anyway, we use movies as inspiration, so all of our names are "stolen"!
BTW, I had a WHOLE list of names that I picked out when I was in high school for my future kiddos, but when I pulled out the names as options for my DH, he veto'd EVERY SINGLE ONE!!! So for those who think they know what they want to name their kid, your significant other may not like it!
I would NEVER steal a name no matter who its from because I for one beileve in KARMA. I had it done to me by my husbands cousin (and no i haven't stolen any names, I JUST conceived and is now 2 mos prego). She knew what I was naming my daughter (when and if i ever have one), but she didn't care, she stole my baby name, since she DID end up having a daughter before me; even AFTER her family members told her and reminded her that "hey, isn't that what so-n-so is naming her daughter?" Needless to say...I thought up this name since I was a junior in high school, 11 yrs ago (which ill just say....she *the hubbys cousin who stole my baby name* was only 6 yrs old and still a kid) and it stuck with me ever since. Of course, like a dumb person i was, I blabbed that name out to EVERYONE in his family not thinking that hey, someday one of them would actually steal it. I don't regret telling everyone about the name. I just call myself "dumb" because I should have known better. It's a BEAUTIFUL name, of course someone would want to steal it. I just never thought it would be family. I was and still am, heartbroken. That name has stuck with me for over 11 yrs now and every single time I hear everyone calling her baby, I just want to cry and feel so vengeful. But I am pregnant now and of course, I will NOT make that same mistake twice of telling people my baby name, no matter WHO it is. So..with that being said. My advice is..."if the baby name is a common name that you've heard before and that person is NO ONE to you, not even an acquaintance..then its okay, whatever. But if you come in contact with the person, whether their a teacher, student, friend, acquaintance...DON'T DO IT. You just don't know who's dreams you could be shattering by doing so.
Ail731:
I actually have experienced both, and I definitely had to vote for the third choice, only if it's not a close friend or family member. While DH and I were thinking of baby names, I was working in a daycare, and so was my younger sister. Between the two of us, we heard so many cute and interesting (and kooky!) kids' names, and I actually helped take care a little girl named Lydia. I had already been considering that name, but meeting this adorable little girl definitely convinced me that this was THE name for our first daughter (when we had one). As soon as I mentioned it to DH, he loved it too, so I didn't really see it as "stealing" the name. The little girl moved out of my classroom when I was about 6 months pregnant, and knew I was having a girl, and when I told her mother we were using the name, she was THRILLED! On the other hand, when DH and I had picked the ONE and ONLY boys' name we liked, Noah, we were actually still engaged. Over a year later, when we were about 6 weeks and not telling yet, a woman from church who was about 4 months pregnant (so her child would be only ~6 months older, and would be in my child's nursery class FOREVER), said she couldn't decide what to name the baby if it was a boy. She told me her names if it was a girl, and I told her my two names we were DEAD set on, Lydia or Noah, and she said "Lydia, that's pretty". Next thing you know, she has the baby 6 months later, and names it NOAH! I actually casually asked her about it, saying "Oh, I didn't realize you liked that name, too", and she said "I forgot about it until you mentioned it, and my husband and I couldn't agree on anything else". Boy, was I MAD that I had even opened my mouth! I also did sort of "steal" my sister's name, because she had a little girl in her class named Evelyn, and she told me she really liked it. That was already a name I liked, but I didn't know if I'd have a second girl, so I wasn't too concerned, since she's not even married or dating anyone. Well, when I was pregnant with DD#2, that's the name we used, and although she was a bit surprised, she even admitted that she didn't even like the name anymore, so she wasn't upset... although she still "jokes" about it. I hope this helps anyone considering "stealing" or "borrowing", or even "honoring" someone else's name choice
p.s.: Oh, and I've had half-joking fights with my DH's sisters, none of whom have kids, about the name Noah, if we ever have a boy. They both say the will use it if they have a boy first, and I say "Fine, but we're still naming our son Noah....they'll just have the same first name, different last names". They don't like that idea, but tough. We "claimed" it first
I just had a situation come up like this. My husband & I decided not to tell anyone the names we had chosen. We found out we are having a girl & we are using a double name. (We'll just pretend the name is "Sophie-Claire" for the story). Then, our friends found out that they are also having a girl and announced that they are naming her "Sophie-Kate." Our baby is going to be born a few months before theirs. I really didn't want our friends to think we had stolen their name, even though the second name was different. So I decided to tell them the name that we had already picked out. I really think that was the best thing to do so that no feelings were hurt. Our friends were glad we told them now & even said that they might just call her "Kate" or "Sophie."
On another note, I have discussed names with my sister & my very close friends. We have similar tastes & trust each other, so for me, I wanted to make sure we weren't using the same names. However, I was concerned that my sister-in-law would steal my girl name, and I don't trust her, so I have never discussed the name with her. She isn't canniving, just forgetful...she would probably think of it randomly & decide to use it, forgetting that I had said it was the name we are going to use. Hope this helps.
I voted that it would be rude to steal a close friend or family member's baby name choice. However, we did have a somewhat interesting situation regarding this. My husband and I have had baby names picked out since we were first engaged. This has been six years ago now. My cousin had a baby three years ago and named him Xaden. The girl name that we have had picked out is Aiden (fairly similar). We are using it anyway. We feel that's only fair, since we had it picked before he was ever thought of. When we told my family our name choice, they LOVED it. They thought of it almost as a tribute to her older second cousin. Not true, but a cute thought. They are so excited for the rhyming names!
So, I think there are certain situations in which exceptions have to be made. Maybe variations keep the sting of "stealing" from hitting so hard. But at the end of the day, it's your baby. You can't let the similarities and repetitions ruin what should be one of the happiest situations of your life. If someone steals your name, use it anyway (or make a variation if it really gets to you). It's just not worth the effort to be angry. There are more important things to invest your energy into, such as your new little one!
Ah, this topic gets me so mad. My BFF stole the name I have wanted FOREVER. I told her when we were girls (13 or so) that I wanted my daughter to be named Guinevere Rose. My mother wanted to name me Guinevere but dad wouldn't let her so I ended up Jenny. (makes sense). My Grandmother and Great Grandmother were both named Rose.
Last month she told us she is naming her daughter Gwen Rose and that Rose was her idea that she got from Titanic. I haven't talked to her sense. She told a mutual friend that I shouldn't be mad because I may never have a daughter.
What would you do?
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Ha ha! Just kind of funny side-note: my name is Amanda Lynne! Just funny that you mentioned both of those! And yes, they are very common! But even so, I hardly ever meet another Mandie (the nn everyone calls me) or Amanda.
I had a name that I have liked for years..... My family knew about it from day one if I were to ever have a little girl.... then last year my brother and his manipulative partner have girl number 2 and claim they randomly chose the name and had never heard me say anything about it! I think it is a really shitty thing to do personally, and there were lots of hurt feelings because it was family, not some friend or random person but hey???
My brother nearly did the same thing - they're due three weeks before us and we're both having girls. DH and I have had our girl name picked out for YEARS and when my brother called to say they were expecting he told me "You might be mad, but the name we're thinking of is Elizabeth Grace." Which was our name, first and middle, and they picked it because "it sounded nice," whereas we had meaning with ours. They've since changed their mind. I was mad when it was my brother - and he KNEW what our name was - but for a friend or random person, I don't think I could fault them.
Yes! I unfortunately told my sister in law what i wanted to name my "future daughter" and she totally stole that name! So Shady!!! So I agree with the first post...if you really love a specific name...DON'T TELL ANYONE!!!
I chose a name for my daughter when I was pregnant and I didnt tell anyone but my mom what it would be. I chose a common name but I changed the spelling a bit and I wanted to honor my aunt who passed away so I used her name as my daughters middle name. I had no idea that anyone close to me was thinking of using the same first name so I named my baby Emely Morayma. Im very happy with the name, but what bothered me was that after she was born and her fathers family heard the name they said I stole his sister in laws name that she picked for her next daughter if she had one and that it sounded too similar to her first daughters name, Evelyn. For the record I have never had a conversation with his sister in law, never, I only met her a few times, and how does Emely and Evelyn sound the same. Anyway I wouldnt want to steal a name or have a name stolen from me but if your not pregnant dont call dibs on names unless the name is made up or has a special meaning to you
SIL stole my son's middle name. My son was born first. Her and her husband didn't tell anyone their son's name until he was born. Didn't ask us about it either. I was very upset.
My friend is pregnant now and I asked her if they had thought of any names and she said we are thinking about Kennedy for a girl. I said really thats what I am naming my daughter too. She has since changed her name to Bailey.
Another friend has this issue with her SIL. They have a family tradition that the boys initials are all the same so there is the possibility that they will have the same names everywhere. Well niether one of them is pregnant but her SIL has like 20 name combos picked out and says she can't use any of them. Friends husbands middle name is Wesley so I told them to use Weston b/c its similar. She said we can't SIL wants to, I said she can choose on of her other 20 names.
Also my SIL who is still in high school tells me the other day that she was going to name her baby Colton. I said really I thought about that too but its like 4 or 5 on my boys list so thats ok.
So I agree if its family and friends don't take thier name. But if they have a list of 20 names then thats their problem they won't need that many names.
I would be disappointed if someone tried to use like my top 2 names b/c its very possible for someone to have 2 boys or 2 girls.
I think you should put some thought in what you're naming your child. You may hear a name and think I want to name my child after that name. But its best to research the name and make sure its truly what you want to name your child and not because someone has mentioned the name and it sounds good.
You want orignality for your child and its also a courtesy to respect the choices of others. No name is bought but you wouldn't feel too great if someone you knew named their child the same name as your own after hearing you state it.
A lot of my friends either just had babies or are pregnant. I remember having a conversation about baby names, and who liked what. I told them that I have had my names picked out for years (not even kidding, since I was like 10- and only tweaked slightly since I got married, and I was married a few years before I met any of these friends). I have a top three of boy and girl names; I was not pregnant at the time, but we were getting ready to start trying. Now, I like the idea of saying "I like this name, but did any of you happen to mention it to me, because I don't want to be a name stealer." I feel like I have put my names out there, and since they aren't immediate family, if they use those names it won't bother me. I just hope it doesn't bother them if I still use them. Immediate family is a different story, and I would be very very careful not to name steal.
We did and to my Brother and his Wife. We did not want to, but my husband did not like any name he heard. Then when I heard what my brother liked, I thought it did not flow. Valentino Connor Paniccia. I told my husband and for the first time he liked a name. Connor. He even called his mom. I told him he could not use that since it was my brothers if he had a boy, they had a girl. So we now have Connor Christian
My old roomate and close friend named her son Nico.
Everyone at the baby shower kept coming up to me and saying isn't that your son's name. I responded, "Don't get me started... don't even get me started."
This would not have been my preference but I'm over it now.
To be honest I tend to lean towards the "first come first serve" idea. I think although everyone has an idea of what they would like to name their baby everyone changes their mind....and I have also heard of people changing their mind immediately after a baby is born. I just play it safe and don't tell everyone.
The one problem I do have is with family names. Sometimes in families there are "special names"...especially for boys it would seem. Case in point: in my father's family the Bertram has been passed down for 5 generations (great great grand-d ...all the way through my brother and cousin.) My sister-in-law recently had a little boy and named him Bertram....not a great name I know BUT with the premise being that it is a family name I was a little bit taken aback...and would feel weird about giving that name...even as a middle name...to a son of my own.
Sometimes with friends and family you really have to think about the importance of those names to them. Don't "steal" names..but if you have also always liked a name by all means use it...
I had chosen a name for a boy since I was about 10 years old, my former best friend of course knew this name, and any names I'd gone through the years that I had liked.
I don't have any children, but of course it urked me to find out after our friendship broke off [after 12 years] that she was now liking that name as well, it is a very unique name. She also claims to like another name I have for a girl, which is just as unique.
I just hope and pray she doesn't name her children those names when the time comes, that would simply be ridiculous. She has copied a lot of things about me in general, and I find it difficult to just shake my head and continue being who I am in those cases.
Aside of that I don't think you should have to keep your baby name quiet just to keep people from taking it, it might be better to let others know the name just in case someone else is planning to name their child that, and you both have time to consider, and re-consider.
The names chosen are Lyric for a boy, and Remini for a girl. And personally, I don't mind if anyone sees them and decides to use them, it's just those around me I'd like to avoid naming our children the same. :]
I think it is very natural for people to like the same name for children. It is typical right..to have things in common with those people that we consider our friends. I don't think it is fair for people to "call" names....unless it has special meaning to a person...and even then I think that we should have direct conversations with people about not using certain names.
We have to remember that the birth and naming of a child is very special to everyone and people do not give children names just to p**s of others...they give names that are also special to them. In my opinion it is selfish to be upset with people for giving a child a name that we consider "ours"...we do not own these names...we only covet them. And if it is that important to us to name a child that we will...and we should....a couple of generations ago MANY people shared the same name (ex. Mary, Thomas, etc etc)
Things like this become a big deal...and sometimes when we are pregnant and a wee bit hormonal we make bigger deals out of things than necessary.
As a person who had a name stolen by a very close friend, I say, yes, it's very mean! My husband and I had the name Aiden picked out long before we were even married and my girlfriend new that. She was young and unmarried so I was pretty sure I would beat her to the name until she accidentally got pregnant. So now, because I waited to to the pregnancy thing in order, I lost the name. They called to say they were using it and said it would be ok to have two Aidens but, come on! It's ruined. So don't steal baby names. That's my rant for the day :-)
I would never steal a name from a close friend or family member (knowingly anyway) but if we happened upon the same name then so be it. My SIL gave me a list of names I couldn't use while I was pregnant with my first and she was not even dating anyone. While it made me mad (especially b/c my MIL was very adamant about me "honoring her wishes") I decided against a few that I really really loved. Now she's pregnant and so am I. She's due about 10 weeks before me and she had the audacity to give me a new list. I am absolutely using whatever name my husband and I decide on esp. since we are finding out the sex. I am not even going to look at her list this time! Oh and then she heard from my MIL the names we were thinking about for a girl and she told me that was ugly! It is my great-grandmothers name!!!!
Re: Name Stealing clicky!
My thought is if you aren't pregnant or trying to conceive, then you can't call "dibs" on a name that you may want to use in the future. There are a lot of great names out there and if you aren't planning on having children for several years, you're opinion on what names you like are most likely going to change anyways.
I'm 32 weeks pregnant, and Its so annoying when I discuss names with someone and then they start telling me all the names I CAN'T use because they may want to use it when they have kids 2-3 years from now! I think if you really love a particular name and your not pregnant, then keep it to yourself. If someone close to you ends up using that name, then its because they happen to love the same name and not that they are trying to "steal" your name. This will avoid hurt feelings.
I DID IT!!!!!!!
i totally stole my 2nd babys name from my hairdresser! only to have baby name karma kick my butt! an old highschool friend went and named her baby the same name. and yes i ditched my hairdresser after i stole it...bad karma. oh well! i think when you find the perfect name you just know it and all of the names i "thought" i wanted for my kids i never even used so when you know you know and someone is bound to feel that way too!
Come now, can't you tell that her hair cut is completely original and no one has ever had anything like it before her? I have NEVER seen anyone with dark wavy hair. That just throws me off. I need to go copy it now.
When I got pregnant with #2, we were convinced it was a girl. We have had our girl's name picked out since we were pregnant with the original baby we lost. The name is rather unique so I have little risk of it getting "stolen" if I don't tell people about it, but that's just it...I don't tell people what it is. But for the middle name, we want to use a family name that my sister, years ago, told me she wanted to use. The week of the ultrasound, my DH and I decided for sure that we wanted to use that middle name if it was a girl so I had made the decision that if it was a girl, I would call my sister and ask her for permission to use the middle name...and then call my grandma for permission too! Joke of all jokes, it was a BOY...#2 for us! Anyway, we use movies as inspiration, so all of our names are "stolen"!
BTW, I had a WHOLE list of names that I picked out when I was in high school for my future kiddos, but when I pulled out the names as options for my DH, he veto'd EVERY SINGLE ONE!!! So for those who think they know what they want to name their kid, your significant other may not like it!
My response to all these postings:
I would NEVER steal a name no matter who its from because I for one beileve in KARMA. I had it done to me by my husbands cousin (and no i haven't stolen any names, I JUST conceived and is now 2 mos prego). She knew what I was naming my daughter (when and if i ever have one), but she didn't care, she stole my baby name, since she DID end up having a daughter before me; even AFTER her family members told her and reminded her that "hey, isn't that what so-n-so is naming her daughter?" Needless to say...I thought up this name since I was a junior in high school, 11 yrs ago (which ill just say....she *the hubbys cousin who stole my baby name* was only 6 yrs old and still a kid) and it stuck with me ever since. Of course, like a dumb person i was, I blabbed that name out to EVERYONE in his family not thinking that hey, someday one of them would actually steal it. I don't regret telling everyone about the name. I just call myself "dumb" because I should have known better. It's a BEAUTIFUL name, of course someone would want to steal it. I just never thought it would be family. I was and still am, heartbroken. That name has stuck with me for over 11 yrs now and every single time I hear everyone calling her baby, I just want to cry and feel so vengeful. But I am pregnant now and of course, I will NOT make that same mistake twice of telling people my baby name, no matter WHO it is. So..with that being said. My advice is..."if the baby name is a common name that you've heard before and that person is NO ONE to you, not even an acquaintance..then its okay, whatever. But if you come in contact with the person, whether their a teacher, student, friend, acquaintance...DON'T DO IT. You just don't know who's dreams you could be shattering by doing so.
I just had a situation come up like this. My husband & I decided not to tell anyone the names we had chosen. We found out we are having a girl & we are using a double name. (We'll just pretend the name is "Sophie-Claire" for the story). Then, our friends found out that they are also having a girl and announced that they are naming her "Sophie-Kate." Our baby is going to be born a few months before theirs. I really didn't want our friends to think we had stolen their name, even though the second name was different. So I decided to tell them the name that we had already picked out. I really think that was the best thing to do so that no feelings were hurt. Our friends were glad we told them now & even said that they might just call her "Kate" or "Sophie."
On another note, I have discussed names with my sister & my very close friends. We have similar tastes & trust each other, so for me, I wanted to make sure we weren't using the same names. However, I was concerned that my sister-in-law would steal my girl name, and I don't trust her, so I have never discussed the name with her. She isn't canniving, just forgetful...she would probably think of it randomly & decide to use it, forgetting that I had said it was the name we are going to use.
Hope this helps.
I voted that it would be rude to steal a close friend or family member's baby name choice. However, we did have a somewhat interesting situation regarding this. My husband and I have had baby names picked out since we were first engaged. This has been six years ago now. My cousin had a baby three years ago and named him Xaden. The girl name that we have had picked out is Aiden (fairly similar). We are using it anyway. We feel that's only fair, since we had it picked before he was ever thought of. When we told my family our name choice, they LOVED it. They thought of it almost as a tribute to her older second cousin. Not true, but a cute thought. They are so excited for the rhyming names!
So, I think there are certain situations in which exceptions have to be made. Maybe variations keep the sting of "stealing" from hitting so hard. But at the end of the day, it's your baby. You can't let the similarities and repetitions ruin what should be one of the happiest situations of your life. If someone steals your name, use it anyway (or make a variation if it really gets to you). It's just not worth the effort to be angry. There are more important things to invest your energy into, such as your new little one!
Ah, this topic gets me so mad. My BFF stole the name I have wanted FOREVER. I told her when we were girls (13 or so) that I wanted my daughter to be named Guinevere Rose. My mother wanted to name me Guinevere but dad wouldn't let her so I ended up Jenny. (makes sense). My Grandmother and Great Grandmother were both named Rose.
Last month she told us she is naming her daughter Gwen Rose and that Rose was her idea that she got from Titanic. I haven't talked to her sense. She told a mutual friend that I shouldn't be mad because I may never have a daughter.
What would you do?
My brother nearly did the same thing - they're due three weeks before us and we're both having girls. DH and I have had our girl name picked out for YEARS and when my brother called to say they were expecting he told me "You might be mad, but the name we're thinking of is Elizabeth Grace." Which was our name, first and middle, and they picked it because "it sounded nice," whereas we had meaning with ours. They've since changed their mind. I was mad when it was my brother - and he KNEW what our name was - but for a friend or random person, I don't think I could fault them.
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I chose a name for my daughter when I was pregnant and I didnt tell anyone but my mom what it would be. I chose a common name but I changed the spelling a bit and I wanted to honor my aunt who passed away so I used her name as my daughters middle name. I had no idea that anyone close to me was thinking of using the same first name so I named my baby Emely Morayma. Im very happy with the name, but what bothered me was that after she was born and her fathers family heard the name they said I stole his sister in laws name that she picked for her next daughter if she had one and that it sounded too similar to her first daughters name, Evelyn. For the record I have never had a conversation with his sister in law, never, I only met her a few times, and how does Emely and Evelyn sound the same. Anyway I wouldnt want to steal a name or have a name stolen from me but if your not pregnant dont call dibs on names unless the name is made up or has a special meaning to you
My friend is pregnant now and I asked her if they had thought of any names and she said we are thinking about Kennedy for a girl. I said really thats what I am naming my daughter too. She has since changed her name to Bailey.
Another friend has this issue with her SIL. They have a family tradition that the boys initials are all the same so there is the possibility that they will have the same names everywhere. Well niether one of them is pregnant but her SIL has like 20 name combos picked out and says she can't use any of them. Friends husbands middle name is Wesley so I told them to use Weston b/c its similar. She said we can't SIL wants to, I said she can choose on of her other 20 names.
Also my SIL who is still in high school tells me the other day that she was going to name her baby Colton. I said really I thought about that too but its like 4 or 5 on my boys list so thats ok.
So I agree if its family and friends don't take thier name. But if they have a list of 20 names then thats their problem they won't need that many names.
I would be disappointed if someone tried to use like my top 2 names b/c its very possible for someone to have 2 boys or 2 girls.
I think you should put some thought in what you're naming your child. You may hear a name and think I want to name my child after that name. But its best to research the name and make sure its truly what you want to name your child and not because someone has mentioned the name and it sounds good.
You want orignality for your child and its also a courtesy to respect the choices of others. No name is bought but you wouldn't feel too great if someone you knew named their child the same name as your own after hearing you state it.
A lot of my friends either just had babies or are pregnant. I remember having a conversation about baby names, and who liked what. I told them that I have had my names picked out for years (not even kidding, since I was like 10- and only tweaked slightly since I got married, and I was married a few years before I met any of these friends). I have a top three of boy and girl names; I was not pregnant at the time, but we were getting ready to start trying. Now, I like the idea of saying "I like this name, but did any of you happen to mention it to me, because I don't want to be a name stealer." I feel like I have put my names out there, and since they aren't immediate family, if they use those names it won't bother me. I just hope it doesn't bother them if I still use them. Immediate family is a different story, and I would be very very careful not to name steal.
My son's name is Nicholas.
My old roomate and close friend named her son Nico.
Everyone at the baby shower kept coming up to me and saying isn't that your son's name. I responded, "Don't get me started... don't even get me started."
This would not have been my preference but I'm over it now.
To be honest I tend to lean towards the "first come first serve" idea. I think although everyone has an idea of what they would like to name their baby everyone changes their mind....and I have also heard of people changing their mind immediately after a baby is born. I just play it safe and don't tell everyone.
The one problem I do have is with family names. Sometimes in families there are "special names"...especially for boys it would seem. Case in point: in my father's family the Bertram has been passed down for 5 generations (great great grand-d ...all the way through my brother and cousin.) My sister-in-law recently had a little boy and named him Bertram....not a great name I know BUT with the premise being that it is a family name I was a little bit taken aback...and would feel weird about giving that name...even as a middle name...to a son of my own.
Sometimes with friends and family you really have to think about the importance of those names to them. Don't "steal" names..but if you have also always liked a name by all means use it...
I think it is very natural for people to like the same name for children. It is typical right..to have things in common with those people that we consider our friends. I don't think it is fair for people to "call" names....unless it has special meaning to a person...and even then I think that we should have direct conversations with people about not using certain names.
We have to remember that the birth and naming of a child is very special to everyone and people do not give children names just to p**s of others...they give names that are also special to them. In my opinion it is selfish to be upset with people for giving a child a name that we consider "ours"...we do not own these names...we only covet them. And if it is that important to us to name a child that we will...and we should....a couple of generations ago MANY people shared the same name (ex. Mary, Thomas, etc etc)
Things like this become a big deal...and sometimes when we are pregnant and a wee bit hormonal we make bigger deals out of things than necessary.
I think anyhow............
I would never steal a name from a close friend or family member (knowingly anyway) but if we happened upon the same name then so be it. My SIL gave me a list of names I couldn't use while I was pregnant with my first and she was not even dating anyone. While it made me mad (especially b/c my MIL was very adamant about me "honoring her wishes") I decided against a few that I really really loved. Now she's pregnant and so am I. She's due about 10 weeks before me and she had the audacity to give me a new list. I am absolutely using whatever name my husband and I decide on esp. since we are finding out the sex. I am not even going to look at her list this time! Oh and then she heard from my MIL the names we were thinking about for a girl and she told me that was ugly! It is my great-grandmothers name!!!!