2nd Trimester
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Re: Name Stealing clicky!

  • My thought on it is if you don't want anyone to "steal" your name than don't tell anyone what the name is.  Simple as that. 

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  • SIL has had her kid's names picked our for years. She may change her mind, or maybe she one have each gender, but I still wouldn't touch them.  Same goes for my brother and his wife.

    An acquaintance or someone on the internet, nah. There was a girl on here who totally flipped out when we were pregnant because another poster was using the same name as her.  I will never understand her logic.

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  • I'm totally one of those people that gets pissed if someone copies my haircut.
  • I voted "All's fair," but with the caveat that I think it's rude to just blatantly steal a name without telling them.  I think it's something that definitely warrants a heads-up if not a full-on discussion.
  • I voted that I wouldn't do it to family or close friends.

    Honestly, if someone uses the same first OR middle name it wouldn't bother me but I knew someone who seriously changed the name they had chosen and used the same first AND middle name as another person... that is just wrong!

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  • My thought is, its your kid, their name, choose whatever you want your kid to be named, even if that means naming your kid the same as someone else. You will be saying that name over and over and if its the one that fits then its your kids name regardless of who else has it. i think this goes for saying things about other people's kids name too. Its their kid, they get to name them whatever fits them and their family. My son's name is Cooper and I wouldnt be offended if anyone wanted to use it!
  • we had a boy and a girl name picked out for the beb, and when we found out beb is a girl, i put perma-dibs on the boy name.  
    i feel like if someone close to you has already expressed an interest in a name and you just happen to have a baby first, it's kind of bad manners to steal their name. they might not end up using it, but if they're stubborn like me, they probably will use it just because they can.

  • I agree with angiedtaylor.  It's your child and how many names are there out there?!?!  Let's go to the E-trade commercial with the milkaholic, Lindsey - Lindsey Lohan is suing because she states it is a reference to her.  Come on!  If you love a name and feel it fits your child, then I feel that regardless of any friends or strangers out there who may have named their child the same name, go for it. 
  • I had a name that I have liked for years..... My family knew about it from day one if I were to ever have a little girl.... then last year my brother and his manipulative partner have girl number 2 and claim they randomly chose the name and had never heard me say anything about it!  I think it is a really shitty thing to do personally, and there were lots of hurt feelings because it was family, not some friend or random person but hey???

  • My SIL used a name my husband and I agreed upon when we met. We didn't tell anyone the name, it just happened. In this case, I would still use the name (pre-TTC here) however after meeting her son, it ruined the name for us because he already has his own personality. I think it was disappointing at the time because she picked the name from a baby name book when we actually had put a lot of thought into it, but she had a baby first so it is her right!
  • My cousin took the middle name of my father in law. She named her son after him and that didn't bother any of us. But I think what hurt our feelings is that she didn't care to discuss it with us or my father in law. He didn't even know they were naming him after him. It was kind of like they did it in spite and not because they wanted their son to be named after him. I am pregnant now and I haven't told anyone about the names I have at all. We aren't going to find out the sex either so it will be a big surprise.
  • I feel stealing someone's baby name is very nasty.  I would never do it to a friend or family member.  If it was just an aquaintance or someone not close to you, then I would think it is ok.  It would only matter if the two babies are in the same circle of people or family.
  • KGskyKGsky member

    Unless it's a totally made-up name, all names are "stolen."  The key is not to do it to someone close to you.  It's just rude and shows you can't think for yourself.  It's one thing if you and someone else just happen to like the same name, it's another if you can't think of what you want until someone else wants it.  I have a sister like this.  She steals everything: names, hobbies, etc...

    She used to drive my older sister crazy because she would order whatever food my older sister would order from McDonald's when they were kids.  If my older sister made her order first, she would go back and change her order whenever she heard what my older sister ordered.  Once, long before the old fashioned names were en vogue, I told her how much I loved the name Helen and I wanted to use it whenever I decided to have kids.  Guess what name ended up on the top of her list of names baby girl names?  Irony of ironies, she has never had a kid--and I didn't end up using Helen.  LOL

  • image grace416:
    I'm totally one of those people that gets pissed if someone copies my haircut.

     

    Your hair cut is cute! lol

  • When I was about 18 weeks pregnant, I let my best friend talk me into telling her the names we'd picked out (one for a boy and one for a girl). She had just found out she was 6 weeks pregnant and we were looking through name books together. Anyway, as soon as I told her the boy's name, her entire face lit up. It was like that episode of "Friends" when Rachel's trying to name her new daughter, you know? She said, "If you have a girl, can I use that?" And I found myself saying "yes," thinking that the boy's name wasn't that very unique, she would have found it eventually on her own, and that I didn't even know if I was having a boy.

     Turns out I'm having a girl. But my friend took to calling her unborn baby of unknown gender by my boy's name. That's when I realized how upset the whole name thing was making me. I decided I just needed to let her know that it was a problem for me. I told her I thought I was being silly and that she could use the name if she really loved it that much but I needed her to know I was struggling with it. She admitted that though she was using the name a lot, it wasn't sitting right with her any more and that she and her husband had already been discussing other name they could use.

    Whew. Bottom line, though? Yeah, don't tell people the name! My husband and I are keeping our little girl's name a tight-lipped secret from everyone now!

  • I think I stole my sister's name but I didn't do it on purpose.  I've always loved the name Caroline & my husband & I agreed on it from the start. We are naming our daughter Anna Caroline, Anna after my mom named Patricia Ann & Caroline after his mom Carolyn. 

    When I told my sister she kinda got mad at me but she has been married for a year longer than me and has no plans for children right now.  Growing up she had said something about naming her daughter Caroline Alden(my dad's name) but she also picked like 20 other names too so what the heck was I susposed to do, I had a valid reason for using the name.

  • I have 2 friends who are due right after me. They are finding out genders, me not. I don't want to share our name choices, but happens if they say what they choose & it happens to be the same as mine? I would feel like I had to forgo my name choice since I am delivering first & wouldn't want them to think I "stole" their name even though I had coincidentally chosen it & hadn't shared it.
  • This was almost a reality for DH and I... we had known we were expecting but had not announced to family yet - when I learned that my cousin and his wife had learned the sex of their baby to be - a girl... and that the name they had put at the top of their list was the name that has been my #1 non-negotiable absolute favorite 'girl' name since I was a teenager... even my Mom got nervous...

    I made my intentions for the name clear as soon as we made our announcement - and once we found out the sex - also A GIRL - we began calling her by her 'name' almost immediately - so as to 'stake our claim'... just in time too - as their baby was born only a few weeks later !!  And has a lovely name of her own !!

     

  • I said I wouldn't do it to family or friends. I think if I had found a name on one of these boards, I would have to make sure it wasn't someone living nearby so it would feel less like encroachment. My DH picked our little girl's name out of a book he loves, & it isn't something I've heard anyone else use. I can't say I'd be offended if some random stranger liked it & wanted to use it. I do think it would be better if they came up with a different middle or first name to use with it, but if it strikes your heart, then it just does. We've told anyone who asked, & I would probably call out someone close to me who used it, but I wouldn't be mean about it. I'm not confrontational!
  • My cousin has had a girls name picked out for years. My husband and I both liked it, but stayed away from it. More distant acquaintances I wouldn't worry so much about.
  • I agree with KGsky.  Someone out there is going to have the same name, no matter what. 

     

    My family reuses a lot of names.  It's flattering to have someone named after you, I would think.  I really like that.  DH doesn't.  

     

    SIL and I both like a name.  Who cares if two cousins have the same name?  It's not like anyone will confuse them; mine will be the well-behaved one (kidding!).  

  • One of my brothers is named the samething as one of my cousins, and they were born just a few weeks apart!

     Everyone always calls my brother Michael and my cousin Michael Cauley lol ...but my uncle was in the military so we really didn't even know them until we were around middle school age.

  • I had it done to me...  A close friend delivered 3 months after I did and low and behold her son has the same name as mine.  She knew from when I was 8 weeks pregnant what my son's name would be.  It bothered me and still does, of all the names in this world... I agree all names are stolen unless it's a truly made up name, but it shouldn't be done between family and friends.  Pick another name.
  • If we have two boys, we plan to name the second one Cooper.  It is my biological father's last name.  We want to honor our family.  The middle name will be my DH grandmother's last name, hyphonated with the middle name that all men share in my DH 's family.  It seems very complicated.  Other people who use other people's names cheat themselves out of the personalization of choosing your child's name.  It's suppose to be special, and what's special to someone else may not be to you. 

  • Just remember that the name you have picked out may not end up working for you child.  It happened to us, as soon as my son (who we did not find our gender) was born, I looked at him and knew that the name choice (Will, short for William) was not the right name for him.  We kept the original name, but ended up calling him by a shortened version of his middle name, which is Ikaika, but we call him Kai.  Fits him perfectly.  So even though you have "the name" picked out, don't be afraid to adjust it when you meet little one!
  • I'm not going to judge because I don't know you.  I would be flattered if someone thought I was special enough to copy.  It's not like it's a copyright issue.  It only hurts the person that copies because the style might not go with that person.  I once had a very close friend of mine who bought the same car as I did, just a different color.  It didn't bother me one bit because I'm not paying the note.  There are much better things to get angry over.
  • I look at a name the same way I look at this....

       ---A few years back I was planning a wedding with my bf. I'm not a fan of the color blue but it was his fave color and he wanted it to be in the wedding. The only shade that I could live with that also looked great with my other colors was turqoiuse. All excited I tell my little sister the details (who is 4 years younger than me and wasn't even dating anyone at the time let alone engaged and actively planning a wedding---and who was my maid of honor), and she promptly demands that I change my colors because apparently (I couldn't recall having this convo) during her prom she told me that turqoiuse (the color of her prom dress) was her fave color and would be in HER wedding one day....ONE DAY. We actually had an arguement over it because I felt she was being too controlling and she actually called me selfish because I wouldn't change my upcoming wedding for the fantasy pretend wedding she would have some years down the line....---

       This is the bottom line...there's no name you can choose that SOMEONE somewhere doesn't already have. Think of all the ashleys, amandas, michaels and all the little girls with the middle name marie or lynn. There's really no 100% escape unless you wanna name ur baby apple or pilot inspector and sadly, even THOSE names are claimed! I understand wanting a name so badly for ur child ONE DAY, but finding a name and choosing one means a lot more to a woman who is already pregnant and who really has to choose one as opposed to someone who just has a notebook of already chosen names somewhere for a baby they aren't even actively trying to have yet. Now if ur pregnant and taking a name from someone else who is pregnant, thats different cause you should know how difficult it is picking one, seeing as how ur pregnant urself! But generally my rule is, if you're not having a baby, you can't "have" a name either. Sorry! :)

  • I actually have experienced both, and I definitely had to vote for the third choice, only if it's not a close friend or family member.  While DH and I were thinking of baby names, I was working in a daycare, and so was my younger sister.  Between the two of us, we heard so many cute and interesting (and kooky!) kids' names, and I actually helped take care a little girl named Lydia.  I had already been considering that name, but meeting this adorable little girl definitely convinced me that this was THE name for our first daughter (when we had one).  As soon as I mentioned it to DH, he loved it too, so I didn't really see it as "stealing" the name.  The little girl moved out of my classroom when I was about 6 months pregnant, and knew I was having a girl, and when I told her mother we were using the name, she was THRILLED!  On the other hand, when DH and I had picked the ONE and ONLY boys' name we liked, Noah, we were actually still engaged.  Over a year later, when we were about 6 weeks and not telling yet, a woman from church who was about 4 months pregnant  (so her child would be only ~6 months older, and would be in my child's nursery class FOREVER), said she couldn't decide what to name the baby if it was a boy.  She told me her names if it was a girl, and I told her my two names we were DEAD set on, Lydia or Noah, and she said "Lydia, that's pretty".  Next thing you know, she has the baby 6 months later, and names it NOAH!  I actually casually asked her about it, saying "Oh, I didn't realize you liked that name, too", and she said "I forgot about it until you mentioned it, and my husband and I couldn't agree on anything else".  Boy, was I MAD that I had even opened my mouth!  I also did sort of "steal" my sister's name, because she had a little girl in her class named Evelyn, and she told me she really liked it.  That was already a name I liked, but I didn't know if I'd have a second girl, so I wasn't too concerned, since she's not even married or dating anyone.  Well, when I was pregnant with DD#2, that's the name we used, and although she was a bit surprised, she even admitted that she didn't even like the name anymore, so she wasn't upset... although she still "jokes" about it. :/  I hope this helps anyone considering "stealing" or "borrowing", or even "honoring" someone else's name choice ;)

     

    p.s.: Oh, and I've had half-joking fights with my DH's sisters, none of whom have kids, about the name Noah, if we ever have a boy.  They both say the will use it if they have a boy first, and I say "Fine, but we're still naming our son Noah....they'll just have the same first name, different last names".  They don't like that idea, but tough.  We "claimed" it first ;)

  • Ermm. Well, unless you've come up with a completely unique name that no one has ever heard before, nobody's stealin' nothin'.

     And to the gal who gets "pissed" if someone "copies" her haircut...What show or magazine did you find that haircut in?


    People, come on!  There are wars going on in the world!

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