Unwarranted Advice

popurum

I am 36 weeks pregnant, and loving it.  I am 29, and this is our first child.  Sure, it has gotten difficult, because my body is getting ready for labor, but I couldn't be more excited about our new little princess on the way.  The only thing to bothers me is the unwarranted advice, especially from people who are not pregnant and don't have kids.  Why do people feel that they need to know all of your business? Are you going to go back to work? Who are you going to have in the delivery room? Are you going to have a c-section or vaginal birth? Are you going to breastfeed?  How long are you going to breastfeed?  Are you going to have your baby in the room with you?  I don't really mind answering questions, but it can get a little too personal sometimes.  Then they try to tell you why your decision is wrong.  Sometimes it is actually a little insulting especially to a new parent.  How do you divert these conversations into something more positive?

TJ&Crew

When it gets too personal I would actually say "Wow, that is a really personal question." And for those w/o kids I would ask "So when are you guys thinking about starting a family?" to switch the focus back to them.

taraleffel

w/dd my response was always "wow, that's a great question i'll have to consider later, i am just so excited for this baby it is hard to focus on anything else! have any advice on how to make the time go faster?"

 

worked almost 100 percent of the time. w/family members who wouldn't drop it, my response was usually, "that's wonderful that that worked for you! i hope i am able to find something equally successful for me and LO"

MCC1010

I am not as PC as everyone else. I end up saying something like - Wow what makes you think that is an appropriate question to ask of a complete stranger?

skiwic8

I agree it's so annoying!  I honestly wish I could tell you how to handle it better.  I am super non-confrontational so I usually answer the questions honestly.  If the convo becomes a debate honestly I just change the subject or walk away. I have been pretty fortunate and the only times it has gotten out of hand was with my MIL about my desire to not have drugs, to not accept a crib with drop sides and why I don't want a crib bumper. 

I have to admit I used to unknowingly ask some of the "annoying" questions we all dread now.  The are you going to breastfeed, are you going back to work, etc.  I just didn't know better.  Now I don't ask anything like that of other women!

jescgrl

I had a chick who has been very vocal of her jealousy ask me in my 2nd Tri. if I was lactating yet. I'd take most any question over that. I have since cut off all contact with her. I agree I hate unwarrented advice/questions. Nosy Know-It-All's annoy me.

sherina825

MCC1010:

I am not as PC as everyone else. I end up saying something like - Wow what makes you think that is an appropriate question to ask of a complete stranger?

Me too.  I say something like, "I don't really think that's any of your business".  And give them the confused look.  Since I teach 12th grade I get a LOT of inappropriate questions.

mrstarawalsh

sherina825:

MCC1010:

I am not as PC as everyone else. I end up saying something like - Wow what makes you think that is an appropriate question to ask of a complete stranger?

Me too.  I say something like, "I don't really think that's any of your business".  And give them the confused look.  Since I teach 12th grade I get a LOT of inappropriate questions.

same. Or for people who don't have kids I tell them that when they do have kids only then are they allowed to give an opinion.