2nd Trimester

shower confession

Is it bad that I have a hard time letting go when it comes to planning the shower? My mom is hosting it, but I'm definitely helping make decisions... I insisted that it not be in a church, and suggested a banquet room in a hotel...etc...

I think I should let go, but I want to like the way it turns out as well. When did I become a control freak? :/ 

Re: shower confession

  • Same here.  Although my mom is planning HER dream shower.  Which means everything is cutesy, pink and blue and yellow and green, and over the top babyish.  Which I am nothing like.  I'm super glad I stayed Team Green for this reason, I couldn't imagine the things she would choose if she got to pick a color...

    I guess I've prepared myself to be disappointed in it.

  • I am too. My Aunt is doing mine and I have already told her that I want it at my house (we have family spread out all over Northern CA and I am in the center everyone) and I told her specific games I didn't want played (melt candy bars in diapers and guess what it is... gross). Thankfully my aunt and I get along really well and I don't think she minds.
  • Wait... you insisted that it be held in a banquet room at a hotel???  That seems a little much.

    But I still understand that you like control.   

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  • I don't think you're a control freak at all.  And suggestions are not wrong to give provided that the person you give them to isn't getting huffy with you.

    My mom, step-mom, MIL, SIL, and two of my aunts are throwing the shower.  They all know my personality very well and turned to me for ideas before they even started planning.  When people ask my opinion, I tell them, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

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  • My aunt asked if her idea of having a tea luncheon was okay with me.  I said sure and that's all the input I've had other than providing the guest list and the date.  Oh, I've helped collect some baby pictures of Mr B and myself because she's doing some kind of a display but I don't really know any details.  I'm actually relieved that I don't need to do anything because I'm having a hard enough time keeping up with work. ;-)
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  • I can relate... throwing my sisters shower was such a pain so I thought I would make it really easy on her and tell her some "suggestions" that I wold like.   For example unlike my wedding shower I would prefer to have it at my house (or a house) so we could invite more people and no one would be left out.   I am still hearing about people that were not invited to my wedding shower.   I told her I really would like a kind of garden party... I don't care if it is not a surprise.  things like that.  And she got mad at me?

     I talked to her at the end of the 1st trimester and then dropped it.  I hope she has my wishes in mind but I will try to remember that the event is a gift from her and mom so I should be grateful no matter what. 

     But I would totally plan it all myself if I could Embarrassed

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  • image Qmommy:

    Wait... you insisted that it be held in a banquet room at a hotel???  That seems a little much.

    But I still understand that you like control.   

    No, the only thing I insisted on was that it not be at a church. We live in the bible belt and people tend to have them at churches. I am not one of those people, though my mom is. I suggested the banquet room because we were looking at inviting 50 people.  

  • I understand the feeling of wanting to have control, but this unfortunately for you is one of those things where you probably need to step back and let go.  She is throwing you a shower as a gift, really that is what it is. And you can't really tell people what to gift you. You can hope she has your likes and dislikes in mind. Overall, what is important? Do the little details of a shower really matter, or is the point for a bunch of people who love and care about you to get together and show you that?  I guess I never understood the whole obsession with the shower. I mean, I want one so that I can share this experience with my friends and family. But whoever wants to give me one, wherever, with whatever decorations or games, I'm good with. Seems silly to worry over something like this, when there are much more important things to worry about. 
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  • I am still waiting for someone to actually start planning a shower for me.  Some people have said they would, but so far no showers have been planned.

    I would be happy someone has taken the time to do it for me, and not be concerned about how they plan it. 


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  • I wish my mother would pick a place without my input, but because I'm in the city and she lives out in the burbs, and most of the invites are folks in the city that's where she feels it should be. Since she isn't that familiar with places in the city she's looking to me to help with that decision, it's stressful and not what I want to have to do.
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  • Wow you are lucky you arent getting flamed like I have been! 

    Im not one that really has been involved with things like this growing up. So I know Im breaking the rules stating what Id like, but when the hostess asks me what I want Ill tell her. I dont go for the cutesie bootsie stuff, so I dont what that at my shower (if it ever happens, 13 days away and my hostess has sent no one invites).

    And personally I feel that this shower isnt for you, its for the baby. So its sort of like a pre-birth-birthday party. I dont see why you cant be involved.

    Not to mention, this whole "its a gift" so its tacky to tell someone what to do or what your wishes are, is messed up. Its no different than you and your Better Half exchanging your Christmas lists, or what youd like for your birthday. 

    Im sure there is a point where you could be over-stepping your boundries with the planning, but I think you will just have to talk to your hostess about that. 

  • I had this problem with the wedding shower. But it's your mom and I'm sure it will be fabulous because she will want the best for you. So just sit back and let her enjoy planning it for you.
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