2nd Trimester

Feelin sexy...maybe TMI...advice needed!

I JUST FEEL GROSS!!!  I feel so bad for my husband because while we do still have sex, it is definitely not as frequent and I am definitely not as "into it" as I used to be!  Have any of you found any tips or tricks on how to make you love life better while PG?  He says I am beautiful and that he loves the way I look, but like I said, I'm just not feelin it!  I try to think of ways to show him I'm interested in "getting in on" (LOL), but everything I can think of makes me feel like I'd look like a big fat idiot (LOL again) and I don't go through with it!  Advice...tips...tricks?  Help!  Tongue Tied

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Re: Feelin sexy...maybe TMI...advice needed!

  • omg i love that u said this! i feel the same way!  im just not interested at all b/c my body is changing soo much and its difficult to get into a position that doesnt hurt!
  • At the first of the year I went through two weeks where I just could not get enough and I was the one that wanted it all of the time and it felt good. Now that I have passed the 20 week mark and definitely "popped" I feel the same way. No interest mainly b/c I feel like I look nasty and worry about finding a comfortable position. All of the worrying and thinking totally changes my mood anytime I close to feeling sexy. I feel horrible and would love to satisfy DH but I can't get passed my own insecurities let alone his.

  • I am right there with you. I still have a desire to have sex, DH I swear never does and he tried to explain to me that he's worried about hurting me or the baby (even though he knows he won't) and that everything will go back to normal once the baby is born. I can't help but get my feelings hurt though. I feel so gross that my husband isn't interested in me anymore.

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  • I wish I had some advice to give ,but it's been about 5 weeks since we've done IT! It's both of us. I feel fat and he's tired from all of the off duties jobs he's been working since I stopped working 4 weeks ago. I convinced it'll be 6wks past the baby's birth before we get it on again. Crying
  • My SO has not gotten any since I was around 8ish wks. No kidding. He knows I am not into it, and we sat down and talked about it, and he told me that he doesn't want me to try having sex if I don't want to. He told me he just wanted me to do it if I was in the mood and felt like it. He doesn't even try, he said he would not make one move until I did.

    It really took the pressure off of me. But you're not the only one. I don't even like being kissed, touched, hugged, rubbed, massaged, or him very close to me. I hate it. But can't control it no matter how hard I try. And he can tell when I am doing it for him, and tells me not to do that. So?? 

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  • It's okay, I am in the same boat, except my DH hasn't gotten any since we have conceived.  We did try about 3 or 4 weeks ago, and I started bawling in the middle of it mainly because I had spotting issues early on, and didn't want that to reoccur, and the fact that the warm happy feelings I had before when having sex wasn't - there- at- all.  It was terrible, and he felt even worse afterwards probably than I did. 

    So, I guess it could be worse, at least some of you guys have been able to get it on some....maybe I should try again??

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  • My BOB has been seeing alot of action these days... he doesn't judge how i look or look at me funny..lol


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  • image allyandpat2010:

    My BOB has been seeing alot of action these days... he doesn't judge how i look or look at me funny..lol

    LOL- love this! 

    And for the OP, I have a feeling a lot of us are feeling self-conscious about our ever-changing pregnant bodies.  My DH initiates every so often and I just go along with it even though I don't seem to ever be in the mood these days- usually I end up getting into it slowly but surely.  I realize that he probably doesn't find me as sexy as he used to, but hopefully that will just be one of the many motivating factors that gets me back in to shape post pregnancy :-)

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  • This is WAY personal, but what helps me is shaving (down there, as best as I can now--I just feel more "myself" and ladylike or something!!), using a lot of lube, and making sure we have plenty of time. I actually haven't dealt with not being in the mood, but its usually lights OFF sex since around 18 weeks. I can't bear to see my belly when I'm on top (*nod to "Knocked Up"*).

    I'm sure you'll figure it out! And if not, pregnancy isn't THAT long! :)

  • I am so glad (well not glad) that I am not the only one that feels this way!!
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  • It's hard, but your body will probably never be the same post-preggers as it is pre-preggers- so, embrace it. Pick one thing a day you like about your body- even if it's 'my nailpolish looks cute today' and write it down. Picture your body now, and think 'if i was DH, would I really notice my swollen ankles? or my moon face?' etc.

    It also helps if your DH lavs on the praise, so make sure he knows that you're feeling unsexy and bad about yourself. He might come up with some not so helpful suggestiions (lay off the ice cream and eat some broccoli, was my favorite!) but once he knows what you need he'll probably pick up on it. This is my first, and DH has been desperate to be involved somehow, so let him know that it's practice for when LO needs reassurance down the road.

    Hope this helps!!

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