Babies on the Brain

I don't know if I should change my name or not

She claims she doesn't read here all the time, and she found it when she was looking for my blog.

I suppose I could just operate under the assumption that everyone I know reads this board, which is how I generally operate, except when I post things like I'm nervous to bang my husband or tell trolls to go fvck themselves.

She confirmed to DH that she knows I'm greenclown.  Lots of people know this, but it freaks me out that my MIL knows this.  It disappoints me that if I do ever get KU again, I probably won't be able to tell you until we've announced it to our families.  That's no fun. 

JHL 12/5/09 - 12/9/09
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Re: I don't know if I should change my name or not

  • That would really bother me. I'm trying to decide whether I want to change my SN too. My mom is very nosy. Nobody IRL knows about my blog other than DH and I'd like to keep it that way.
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  • Wow, that is really creepy.  I say change your screenname and siggy. Sorry.
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  • I don't know what I would do either if I were you. Most likely if you do change your name it will still come out who you used to be. And you definitely couldn't have reference to your blog or Jillian in your siggy or else it would be obvious, which sucks. I don't know GC :-(
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  • In all fairness, you knew your cover was blown after jillian was born. Plus your siggy won't change right? I'd probably keep your SN
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  • I am not sure changing your name would be the way to go... She/they would probably be able to figure out who you are by things you say and what other people say to you. 

    I just think it sucks that this is ruined for you now.  UGH.

  • in all honesty, I would. I know public forum =/= privacy but it is nice to be able to post here. I would in no way feel comfortable posting here if my MIL knew my sn, and I love my MIL. It's just too weird. Sorry GC Sad
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  • I would change it if it was me.  Heck I recently changed my screen name to lower the likelihood that someone can find me here by searching google for my old screen name. 

    Especially if my MIL knew.

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  • image weelass24:
    In all fairness, you knew your cover was blown after jillian was born. Plus your siggy won't change right? I'd probably keep your SN

    if she's telling the truth and only found you searching for your blog, I would change the link in your siggy to a tinyurl one instead of directly to the blog. That way even though the informations there, it doesn't show up directly if that makes sense.  

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  • image weelass24:
    In all fairness, you knew your cover was blown after jillian was born. Plus your siggy won't change right? I'd probably keep your SN

    I know, but I didn't think my MIL would come here and read stuff.  Like I explained to DH, I know he's on racing forums and they're public, but I don't go there to read them because that's his place.

    And it would suck to have to leave Jilly out of my signature, but putting anything in there about her defeats the purpose of changing names.

    JHL 12/5/09 - 12/9/09
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  • image NavyClan:

    if she's telling the truth and only found you searching for your blog, I would change the link in your siggy to a tinyurl one instead of directly to the blog. That way even though the informations there, it doesn't show up directly if that makes sense.  

    I'll try that, and I'm going to put the gif with Jillian's name back in there so her name doesn't show up in google. 

    JHL 12/5/09 - 12/9/09
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  • image Mysterious_wife:
    Wow, that is really creepy.  I say change your screenname and siggy. Sorry.

    I agree, it sucks, but I think you will feel better about it if you do. 

  • I know this doesn't help your situation much, but I always just assume people I know are lurking.  I have actually sent my mom links to topics here, so I know she knows where I play.  And she knows my screenname.

    But, at the same time, she will likely know I am KU minutes after DH and I find out and she knows my history and what we're currently going through.  So keeping that from her is not an issue for me.

    Yes, it would be creepy if she called/texted/sent a message to answer a question about something I posted here, but it wouldn't surprise me because she knows I'm here.

    Annnnd...I love my MIL so all of this applies to her as well (even though I've never sent her anything from here and she doesn't really know where to find me--it wouldn't bother me if she did).

    Sorry that was so long and so...inapplicable to your situation.

    If it were me, though, I'd just brush it off and not change your SN.  But I can completely understand why you'd want to.

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  • Gia is my seceret identity. DH didnt even know my SN until a few months ago when a quote i made was posted in the Nest mag and he figured it out bc i told him i was in there. i would be devestated if anyone IRL found me here.
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    ........ "God only gives you what you have the strength to handle....sometimes i wish he didnt trust me so much."

  • I am just catching up on all of this today, it's crazy.

    I'm so sorry GC. 

    I feel even more paranoid now about being outed IRL on here. I think Domo & my feet will be sticking around as my siggy for a long time...

    such a bummer Sad

  • If you would feel more comfortable about announcing a future BFP or venting about sex, etc. then perhaps you could create a SN that is used for those types of posts only.  I don't know if this would work, but it could.  Of course, we'd all have to be notified that it's YOU :).
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  • Sorry you're having to deal with this unpleasantness.

    I can only say what I would do, because everyone is different and everyone is here for different reasons. I don't like the idea of any of my family members (my mom, MIL, either SIL, etc) finding me on here. I've been a lurker for a while, but have only recently started posting, and I started posting because I could see that this is a community (a snarky one, but still...) that is very supportive and honest. In the upcoming months, I have a feeling I'll need a community like this (as we begin to TTC) to share and vent and say things that I might not be able to say to people in my family. Hell, sometimes it'll probably be ABOUT people in my family (because, let's face it, sometimes our families irritate the crap out of us).

    So, if I were in your position, I would change my SN. In my experience, once people find something like this, the temptation is too great for most people to resist. Like, once I had a friend who figured out her boyfriend's email password. So she started snooping on him. Nothing was going on, but she couldn't stop checking his email, just in case, EVERY DAY. Obviously I don't know your MIL, but that's just been the case in my experience.  I'm sorry that that probably also means removing any mention of Jillian (I'm sorry for your loss) from your siggy, though.

    GL!

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  • GC,

    For what it's worth, I do'nt think you should change it. My BFF found me on here last year when I was having emotional troubles. She didn't tell me until a few months after (thankfully, I was drunk when she told me). She said she just wanted to make sure I was ok. I feel like that's the same thing for your MIL. She's not trying to be intrusive.

    It is entirely up to you, and you should do what I want. My bff did stop following me and my blog, and I know since I have google analytics. Maybe she will level off in time.

  • I wouldn't change it. I would just make sure your MIL understands that this an important part of your social network and has helped you over the last few months and although it is a public forum, you would like it to remain private from her. She can either respect that or not, but if she doesn't. it's because she is in the wrong, not you.
  • I'm not sure what I think or what I would do. But it's all a little violating for my liking.

    I'm so sorry you've even found yourself in this position.

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