3rd Trimester

Where have all my friends gone?

Ok...needing to vent here. I'm the first of all of my friends to get pregnant and I can't help but shake the feeling that they're all distancing themselves from me. I feel like I have the plague. We used to go out, drink, and have a good time but since I've gotten pregnant I feel like the odd man out. I might be imagining all of this, and part of me wonders if my pregnancy emotions are getting the best of me. Either way, it's not a good feeling. Have any of you had any similary feelings/experiences?

Re: Where have all my friends gone?

  • OH YES.  I am right there with you....now that I cant go out and drink and smoke no one is around anymore. 
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  • Yes, I'm the first too. I've never been one to go "out" or drink so that's no different. But I can tell that things have changed. Just the way they treat me, it's like I'm sick, not pregnant. Some friends on the other hand are just the opposite. They want so badly to be pregnant that all they do is ask pregnancy questions and talk babies. I don't mind answering their baby questions but I'm still here you know?

    I'm sorry you feel this way. It's hard to feel alone when pregnant.

    (((hugs)))

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  • Well... YES I do feel this way. Nothing is different about me other than I am pregnant. I have one especially who is really hurting my feelings right now. I went through her whole pregnancy with her supporting her through everything and she was a rough case... But now she is no where to be found for me. It really hurts. She is all of the sudden too busy... and I really miss her kids. But she has a new best friend who she is living with babying her so she doesn't need me anymore I guess. Which is fine.. I guess.
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  • I felt contagious with #1, this time around we are so busy that I hardly notice.
  • It feels good to know I'm not alone in this boat. I keep telling myself that I'll make more friends who I can relate to in my mommy group when I join, but it's still hard in the time being. It's disappointing to find out that your friends aren't what you thought they were and it's REALLY hard to keep pretending like everything's cool when you're really hurting. I work with 3 of them and I can't stand listening to them talk anymore. I have to put on headphones just to keep my self from ruminating on it. Is it 5 o'clock yet?
  • Yes, I am in the same boat and I doubt you are imagining it. It really hurts, doesn't it? They should be celebrating in what is a HUGELY important experience for us, and instead I feel like they just miss the old me and are only thinking about how much things have changed and are going to change. One of my friends told me it's part of the cycle of friendship, when you have kids sometimes the "kidless" friends become a smaller part of your lives and friends that do have kids (and if you don't have any friends with kids you will probably make some, kids are a nice common bond, especially for play dates) become a big part of your life. It's sad when friendships fade, especially when in your mind things should be the same, but sadly, that's just how it goes. The ones who really matter will stick by your side, and will learn to share you with the baby!
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