Upstate NY Babies

Opinions on inviting my Mom to u/s & not MIL

I have my big ultrasound on Monday.  It is our first baby and we are not finding out the sex.  Our baby will be the first grandchild on both side.  My husband is the oldest and has 3 brothers & 1 sister.  I only have a younger brother.  My parents & my in-laws both live about 5 minutes for us.  My MIL is a nice lady but she is still a MIL, she is very opinionated!  I would really like to have my Mom at the u/s but do not want to ask my MIL.  I realize the baby is mine and my husbands but it is my pregnancy.  I haven't asked my husband how he feels about me just asking my Mom yet but just wondered what everyone thinks?  Is it unfair of me to want to ask just my Mom?  I kinda feel like my MIL has a daughter that she will have an opportunity to share special moments with and that I should get to have special moments with my Mom.  What do you guys think?   

Re: Opinions on inviting my Mom to u/s & not MIL

  • While I don't have a lot of issues with my MIL, she is a "different" person and we don't see eye to eye on everything.  But, I always felt like she should be included in her grandchild's life in all aspects.  She was invited to our ultrasound.  I would have felt awful to invite only my mom. 
  • I agree with you 100%. And don't feel bad about it or search for a reason that justifies it....this is what you want to do, period.

    Not too many MILs go to these anyway so it's not like she's expecting it. We invited mine and she was completely shocked and very grateful. She wrote us a very nice ty card afterwards.

  • I would feel bad about not iviting MIL especially if it's the 1st grandchild on both sides.  I get along with MIL and I try to include her but it's hard since she lives in Chicago.  Dh would be very hurtif I just invited my mom. 
  • I don't think you should feel bad at all. I think it's nice that you even are inviting your mom.  It's not a given that anyone be with you and DH when you go for an u/s.  Don't feel guilted into it. 

    My parents were out of town when we had our u/s and my in-laws live out of town.  Even if everyone lived 2 minutes from me I don't think I would have invited them...I liked having the moment with just my DH.  To each their own. 

    Just my two cents!

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  • Personally, we didn't want to invite anyone else.  It was a special moment between me and DH.  And we didn't find out the sex either.  I'm pretty close with my MIL.  If my mom had gotten to go and she didn't I know her feelings would have been hurt.

    If you want to invite your mom, you should talk with DH and get his thoughts. 

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  • I agree with you.  I have had my mom at an u/s recently, I just feel like she is my mother and i want her to be there.  My MIL has a daughter that she can experience all of these things with her one day as well. My MIL didn't take the news very well though that I just want my mom and my husband in the room when LO is born.  But I feel I need to draw some boundries with her, she is a tad controlling.  Good Luck! 

  • I didn't want to invite my MIL, either, but I decided that it wasn't worth hurt feelings. Soo, we all squeezed in the little examining room. Afterwards I was glad I did invite her because it made her so happy and really was the last thing I was thinking of at that moment anyway. Now labor and delivery...whole other story. I feel bad she's left out, but too bad!!!
  • I wouldn't feel bad for not inviting MIL, but DH and I don't get along well with her to begin with. For our big US it was just us. We had to go back a couple weeks later because they couldn't get a good shot of her spine. For that one DH told me to ask my mom to go with me. My mom and I are ridiculously close though so DH had no problem asking my mom and not his. He never suggested or asked if his mom could go. But for our situation it was better she didn't go.
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