3rd Trimester

smokers?

Anyone have family members that smoke?  I never grew up around. didn't know anyone that smoked (friends or family). and I never liked it.  at all. Of course, I have in laws that smoke (FIL AND MIL).  

If you are around people that smoke and you know they will be around baby, what are your stipulations?  Of course, I will never want them to actually smoke around baby...thats just NOT something I want (it's linked with SIDS and inducing asthma).  But what about right after they smoke and it's in their hands and clothes...are you planning on saying anything about this to your family/friends that smoke?  Just feeling out other responses before I go all "crazy first-time mom" on people.... =) TIA 

Re: smokers?

  • Well, I think hand washing is important for everyone not just smokers. Other than that there really isn't much you can do. I would not let DC into a home or car that was smoked in.
  • I am a former smoker (quit when I got BFP) and when I used to go around babies, I would make sure I washed my hands before picking them up.  But as far as my clothes were concerned...well, really, I did nothing about that.

     

    I would just ask that they don't smoke around your child.  Your baby will not develop asthma from being held by a smoker. 

  • Yes, unfortunately my mom is one of those heavy smokers who always smells like smoke, her clothes, her house... even when she sends us gifts in the mail they smell like smoke. :(

    My mom lives far away and she'll only ever see the baby for short periods of time so I'm not going to worry about it. I know she'd never smoke near the baby, and is probably incapable of realizing that her clothes smell at all.  

  • I'm fortunate in that none of my friends/family smoke - a big change from when i was growing up!  If it's someone you will be seeing often, like MIL and FIL, I might suggest that prior to any visit, they wear freshly laundered shirts/sweaters (assuming that their outerwear also reeks).  I'd also be concerned about face-to-face contact, and ask them to wash up at home, and then not smoke on the way to see LO, so they don't have to wash so completely at your house.

    I detest smoke, and I know my requirements would be considered crazy by some, but if I am crazy about anything, this would be it.
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  • My in laws smoke like chimneys...it drives me nuts! I don't even like going over to their house bc wether they smoke in front of me or not I leave reaking like a cigarette.  My FIL smokes in the bathroom with the window open....because that makes it better??? Its so gross but that is their house so I wont be making many trips there with my baby, they can come to my house Big Smile Should be interesting though...they live 6 miles away can't even use distance as my excuse...
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  • LO or not, we do not let anyone smoke in our house. FIL they will go outside or in the other room if we are there. But MIL, her house is so small even if she is not smoking while we are there it smells horrible, so we rarely go there already, and she knows why. I lost a cousin to SIDS (with my aunt and uncles smoking likely the largest factor) so it's not something I take lightly. I understand living in the conditions and visiting them are very different. But it's just not worth it to me.

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  • This is going to be a HUGE issue at my house when my MIL shows up after the baby comes.   She is a chain smoker (we make her go outside on the back deck) and she will definitely reek of smoke.

    The only thing I am planning to make her do is wash her hands....it would be impossible to have her do anything about her nasty smokey clothes.

    She smokes in her house too...and our LO will not be going there.  My SIL took her girls (now 5 and 7) there one time and they have not been back.   If their grandma wants to see them then she has to come over to SIL's house.  We will do the same thing.

     It is quite sad actually...I remember spending the night at my grandma's house when we were growing up and having such a great time.  Wish our child could have that experience with her!  Thankfully my parents are smoke free...so  LO can spend plenty of time there!

  • I absolutely detest the smell of smoke, and the more I learn about "third hand smoke" (smoke on clothes, hands etc) the more "crazy mom" I will be, and I don't care who is annoyed with me. Obvi I would not let anyone smoke around my baby, and I would not take my baby into a smoked-in house/car. But I also won't let anyone who has just smoked hold my baby - due to the third hand smoke. People can get as annoyed as they want at that - my baby, my rules.

  • DH smokes about 4 a day.  Same rules as always. No smoking in the house or car.  If it doesn't stop by thte time the baby comes he must wash well after he smokes and change his shirt. He does this every time he smokes now though.

    FIL smokes also.  he goes by the same rules.  He's going to be watching LO somes days he has to follow the same rules as DH.  

    FIL needs to stop anyway (He has had cancer in the past and is followed up constantly.)

     

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  • image ibis:

    Yes, unfortunately my mom is one of those heavy smokers who always smells like smoke, her clothes, her house... even when she sends us gifts in the mail they smell like smoke. :(

    My mom lives far away and she'll only ever see the baby for short periods of time so I'm not going to worry about it. I know she'd never smoke near the baby, and is probably incapable of realizing that her clothes smell at all.  

    My mom exactly!  She will see the baby very often though. I won't ask her to change her cloths though and I will bring LO to her house. She doesn't smoke in her house when childeren are around. I know the smell is still there, but I'll still bring LO there.

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  • I don't have this issue but at my newborn care class last night, someone asked about this and I thought the suggestion was pretty good.

    Ask the smoker to wash his/her hands and put a blanket on them to cover the smoky clothes before you hand them the baby.  It will seem like you're just giving them a blanket in case there's spit up but really you're creating a layer between baby and smoke.  Maybe that will help. 

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  • DH and I are also very serious about this.  His parents smoke and it has been a great source of stress to us.  While they do not smoke around me and never would smoke around a baby, they smoke in their house and I always leave it smelling horrible with my eyes burning.  Babies' lungs are even tinier; I don't want to chance how it would affect DD! 

    Thankfully, it looks like they are really trying to quit, so it should not even come to this.  However, if they do not quit (and continue to smoke inside their house all day rather than deciding to smoke outside only,) we will not be bringing DD over until she is a little older.  They will have to come to our house, and when they do, we will ask them to wear a fresh shirt, wash hands and not smoke in their car right before.  It is going to be tough because they live less than an hour away and we still want DD to see them regularly, but unfortunately we have to be strict.  Like PP said, it may be extreme, but SIDS is real and if I am going to remove my crib bumper, lay DD on her back and put a fan in her room, I am also limiting her exposure to 3rd hand smoke if that will help lower her chances of SIDS. 

  • My MIL and FIL don't smoke but the rest of that family does. Holiday's are the worst b/c it's always at DH's Aunt's house and they smoke inside (yes, they were doing it on Thanksgiving and me pregnant... we left).

    I'm with everyone else. I don't like it, it stinks, and I don't want my baby around it. My brother has asthma and thinking back at family gatherings where so many of the older relatives we had then smoked, he went to a bedroom and shut the door and stayed there the whole time. I don't want my child to have to do that. So, I guess, we'll be having a lot of family gatherings at our house in the future. They have to go outside if they want to smoke.

    As for it being on hands and clothes, aside from washing hands I don't think there's much that can be done. I wonder if there is any significant effect from being exposed to someone who smells like smoke since it's on their person? Hmmmm?

  • My DH is a smoker and he had been warned that he is to make sure he goes outside to smoke (he already does, but needed to remind him), that he needs to change his shirt, and wash his hands before he touches LO.  I even mentioned using mouthwash before touching her too. 

    Honestly, I don't think those are too outrageous of requests.  This is your child are you are resposible for making sure they are healthy and happy.  If people do not want to respect your wishes (even if they think they are over the top ie, I smoked when I had kids and nothing happened) then they need to know that they will not be able to hold, care for, or watch LO.

  • Just FYI, it's not just about the smell, etc. Try looking up information on third hand smoke -- the chemicals cling to clothes and furniture and can be absorbed through LO's skin.  

    Luckily, I only have one aunt who smokes. She lives out of state with the rest of my family, and we never go to her house when we go back for visits.  

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  • I have a MIL, SIL, and aunt that smoke.  None of them smoke in their homes, they go outside.  I also noticed that they have been more concious of not smoking around me (when the weather was nice enough for us to be outside together).

    I think if I noticed them just coming in from smoking I may ask them to wash their hands before holding LO.  I have never seen any of them around babies, so they may do this on their own anyway.  I am planning on just paying extra attention to see where their boundries are.  I do know that if I can at all help it, LO will not ride in their vehicles (and if it absolutely comes down to it that he has to, I will be certain to stipulate that they cannot smoke with him in there.)

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  • My mom smokes. She knows to not smoke around the baby and she only smokes outdoors anyway. She lives far away, so we won't see her often anyway. I did already tell her that when she is here visiting I'd want her to wash her hands and change her shirt before holding the baby. I don't know if that sounds too anal or not, but I just want LO breathing in as little smoke as possible.
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  • My dad and sister/BIL smoke. They're "outside" smokers and don't smoke in their own homes or cars... but you can still smell it when you walk in the door.

    Our pedi recommended that smokers shower and put on clean clothes immediately before they come over. She also recommended that for the first 8 weeks, they wear one of those hospital gown/open scrub things to cover their clothes when they hold the baby - and even then, it should only be for a few mins because she said that "3rd hand smoke" is very irritating to the baby's lungs.

  • My brother smokes. Nate's brother smokes too. I have friends who smoke.

    Like everyone, they have to wash their hands before touching the baby.

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  • none of my family members smoke but i concur on the handwashing thing.  Also, maybe keep spare sweaters/sweatshirts around for people to put on when they hold baby

  • image carney09:

    I am a former smoker (quit when I got BFP) and when I used to go around babies, I would make sure I washed my hands before picking them up.  But as far as my clothes were concerned...well, really, I did nothing about that.

    I would just ask that they don't smoke around your child.  Your baby will not develop asthma from being held by a smoker. 

     

    This exactly.  Back when I was born (in the 80s) many women actually still smoked while pregnant.  Also, there are pictures of me and my grandma sitting at the table, me in her lap, her with a ciggarette in her hand.  My parents both smoked during my entire childhood.  And I have not had any ill effects from any of it.

    I recognize that firsthand and seocnd had smoke are unhealthy for baby to be around, but I think the idea of "third hand smoke" is ridiculous.  Sure, toxins can stick to clothes, I guess, but think about it people, even if the person's NOT a smoker they could have toxins on their clothes.  Every time they flush a toilet little germ droplets splash in the air.  Are you going to make sure they change their clothes or not use the bathroom prior to holding LO?  And if someone sneezes near them during the course of the day, same thing.  Or if they handle a bag of garbage (take it out to the curb) right before coming over.  Any of these activities could cause someone's clothes to be "contaminated".  So I think it's going over board to ask people to change their clothes before holding LO.  I will make everyone, smoker or non, wash their hands before holding LO, but beyond that there's such a thing as TOO much panic.

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  • Yes we have smokers in our family and Im big about not smoking around baby and washing hands all of the time before you hold baby.  People shouldnt have a problem with it they should understand. 
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