1st Trimester

How Not to Lie?

Our friends are getting suspicious that I'm pregnant (b/c I switched to regular soda and didn't drink on New Years) and are starting to ask questions.

We weren't trying but we just got married in November and were pregnant by December! We are only 6 weeks along and haven't even told our parents yet. 

We aren't ready to tell them yet - we really want to wait until after we tell our parents which we're planning on doing at the end of the month b/c we won't see them before then and I would rather wait until we are out of the "danger" zone so to speak before we announce the news to everyone.

I am hanging out with all the girls tonight and am worried they are going to ask me point blank if I am pregnant. I don't want to lie but I also don't want to tell them yet.  Is there a way to get around this or should I just bite the bullet and tell them?

 

Re: How Not to Lie?

  • Can you drink a mocktail instead of not drinking?
  • My response has been to say "When I have news to give, I will give it."  of course, for some people (when I'm particularly grumpy) I just say "What a rude question."

  • I would say something along the lines of "when I have news to share, I'll let you know"
    image

    TTC #1 since April, 2007
    12/2009 ~ Clomid + IUI = BFP ~ natural m/c 6w0d
    2/2010 ~ 3/2010 ~ 4/2010 ~ Clomid + IUI = BFN
    8/2010 ~ IVF = BFP
    image
  • I've said "you'll be among the first to know." 
  • Tell them you got an STD from ur honeymoon threesome and the antibiotics make u sick when u drink. See if that shuts them up

  • I'm not sure how to deflect the question without lying when asked outright.  You could just laugh and say "Geez, we just got married!  When I get pregnant, you guys will be in my top 20 to notify".  Then you could either change the subject or slip in there a discussion about how when it happens to you you want to wait to tell people. 

     I lie kind of.  I've had multiple excuses, but they were all true, 1/2 marathon, antibiotics, getting up early for something the next day...etc  Good luck and don't let them pressure you.  You'll feel really guilty if they know and your parents don't.    

  • If you don't want them to know then if they point blank ask just say NO!  I like pp response though too.  It's really up to you, if they ask and you get a certain look and they can tell you are lying they may prod even more (I don't know how your friends are). If you are worried because they will all be drinking and you aren't, tell them you are taking some type of medication and you can't mix.
  • Don't say yes, don't say no.. "I have no news to share"

  • All I can say is to BE PREPARED with some sort of answer.  I wasn't prepared when I got together with some girlfriends right after my bfp, and I totally stumbled around with what to say and gave myself away.  Arg!
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  • Just say "When we're pregnant, we'll tell people when we're ready to tell them."  If they want to assume that means you're pregnant, that's their business.
  • image gymnst1013:
    I would say something along the lines of "when I have news to share, I'll let you know"

    This! But I must confess that when I was waiting for my BFP, I ordered a coke with a lime from the bar (not on the same tab as my friends) and asked the bartender to put it in a "on the rocks glass". She winked at me and said "congrats, I get that all the time".

    So put that thought in your back pocket for tonight, just in case you chicken out on telling your girls to "back off"! Have fun!

    image


    D&E at 16 weeks ~ D&C at 10 weeks ~ D&C at 10 weeks

  • This is exactly why we have been avoiding social situation for the past couple of weeks.  When we get together with friends and family we always have a drink.  At first my comments were that I wasn't feeling very good, so I couldn't drink...which you can only get by for so long.

    Now if I am questioned, I try to say what I've seen a lot here..."when I am pregnant, I will let you know!"

     It's so hard to keep a secret...I know!!

  • I met a friend last night, and got there early, ordered a cran/soda with a lime, no vodka.  

    Then drank it like I normally would've.  She assumed it was my normal drink.

    Also ginger ale in a champagne glass works (looks like the real deal)

    I told a few friends I'm detoxing for a month after the holidays, "no juice January"

  • I agree, it is so hard! I will be seeing my friend tomorrow night, and I know they suspect something. I would love to tell them, especially since we will all be together, but we really want to wait until I am 12 weeks. We havn't even told my husband's parents yet and it would not be fair for my friends to know before his family, but it is so hard!

     

  • " are you saying I"m FAT?"

     

  • I told my husband that if we are out and I'm not drinking to go with me on the fact that I am trying to loose weight and I am cutting out alcohol because of the calories. I have to stick to my new year's resolution for at least a month! Good Luck!
  • LOL, the STD from the threesome on your honeymoon!  I'll have to use that one. 

    I had a friends ask me last night why I wasn't drinking.  I told her I drank too much on NYE and just the thought of it makes me sick now.  Partically true...I did drink way too much on NYE but I sure did want a beer last night!

  • This is definitely difficult.  I am just lying about it.  It kills me since I am eternally honest but when asked outright I am left with no choice.  I just focus on how upset me and DH would be if our friends found out before our parents and that helps me with the fact that I am not being honest. 
  • Unfortunately, I am outright lying to my friends right now if the topic comes up. If I told them I will tell when I have news to share this would only add fuel to the fire with my friends.  Now it is just getting difficult to keep coming up with excuses.  The best advice is be prepared with what you are going to say and stick to it.
  • I like the threesome/antibiotic excuse....that's funny!
  • I avoided this because I don't think I could have kept it a secret. The day I got my BFP I told my family. However my family is/was less than thrilled, because I'm young and blah blah, but it worked out. This is our first so for us we thought eh why not. We were trying, and only tried for a month. My side did not know this nor would they support it, so I just told them it wasn't planned. His side knows it was planned, luckily they live far away literally on the other side of the US, so I don't have to worry about it. But I'm an out right lier. I'm 21 and feel like my parents would have a problem with me being pregnant that if I don't lie I'll be in lecture mode etc I was still a disappointment to my family, but whatever it's done. And it seems like they are getting over it, and are becoming more supportive and asking more questions. My mom was 24 when she had me, and I'll be 22 when the baby is born, it's not like I'm a teen and young.

     

    I highly recommend the threesome story, because that would at least make them be quiet lol... and it would be funny to see their reactions, however, they may ask for me details, so it could become an even further lie, however again you could say that was private. lol 

  • the STD-- priceless

    I have just plain lied- although my husband and I were frequent "outers". I just say in this damn economy drinking is too damn expensive- most people have seemed to understand. Also I don't smoke so that helps too- but mainly lying and avoiding- my REAL friends will understand when it comes time to share.

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